What it is about those who live by the, “People are entitled to my opinion, whether they want it or not” motto? Unsolicited Advisers might work for some people, but they drive yours truly absolutely bonkers. There’s a technique you can use to avoid Unsolicited Advisers driving anyone cukoo. It’s called Gestalt Feedback.
There is a peer-to-peer entrepreneurs' forum we call Veritas. Veritas is the Latin word for truth. We’ve been meeting monthly for over eleven years. The health of our forum relies almost completely on a method of interaction called Gestalt Feedback. This type of feedback is not advisory, but in the form of communication based on personal experience.
For example, one of our ten members could bring up a topic on strengthening client relationships when loyalty seems to be fickle. There’s a protocol designee ready with red and yellow ‘gestalt infraction’ cards. If someone says, “You should institute an incentive program,” they get a red card for flat out ‘advice.’ If that person said, “There are people in situations like yours who put an incentive program in place,” then a yellow card is raised. But, if the person were to follow the gestalt feedback formula, they would say, “We had a disintegrating loyalty issue with the ABC Brick Company so we started an incentive program where the more business we got, the more service credits they received. It increased our retention by 22%.”
You instantly notice the life-sucking effect of Unsolicited Advisors when they start telling you what you should do with your life. Motivational? NOT!
It’s a slow bleed when you hear thinly veiled advice disguised as feedback. Motivating? Not so much!
You can instantly feel the power of gestalt feedback when someone has heard what you said and provides their experience. Chances are you'll hear from them a solution that worked.
The next time you meet at work or in a mastermind setting, explain what gestalt feedback is. Then ask for agreement on this personal experience over advice mode of exchanging information between members.
Like riding a bike for the first time, it may take a few rotations to get the hang of it.
Once it starts to click, you won’t miss unsolicited advice nor that feeling of going bonkers in an absolute way.
It started with Max. He auditioned for an arts magnet school. Then Isabella auditioned for the New York Baroque Ballet show. Alex, not to be left off the train to Auditionville, tried out for the lead roll in a play in a neighboring town. You and I, we have two typical reference points for auditions. Either the outcome itself or the pre-outcome: the heeby jeebies, purgatory of ‘no word yet’, the waltz between email, voicemail and the lonely mailbox, answering "I don't know yet," to the repeated question, “Did you get in?” Auditionville is not a destination. It’s a process.
A process of methodical action. Not a whimsical or impetuous pursuit.
Take for example Max’s audition for Booker T. Washington. The high school where dozens of Grammy winners, including Nora (Come Away with Me) Jones, Edie (The not-so-New Bohemian) Brickell and Erykah (Keep your clothes on) Badu, were educated. Close to 900 significantly talented teenagers auditioned for a couple hundred spots in the performing and visual arts. Max auditioned on guitar – the most contested spot. Max didn’t just show up on a set date at Auditionville. Two years prior he made up his mind he would do what it took to be selected. He had two guitar lessons a week. Greg Ray helped with pieces designed to profile musical and technical ability. Owner of Zounds Sounds School of Rock and graduate from Booker T., Marc Solomon, worked with Max on music theory and sight-reading. Max practiced multiple times a day. He toured the school three different times. He made a connection with the music teachers in advance just to put a face to the name. This fourteen year old was dedicated to the process of auditioning, not just the event. Meanwhile, Alex takes multiple acting classes while practicing on her family and friends any chance she gets. Isabella has five dance classes per week, has practically worn out her dance bar in her room and doesn’t miss and opportunity to dance in every hallway she encounters. With Max, Alex and Bella, the focus is on the process of auditioning, not necessarily getting the role. Getting the part would be nice but the life skills gained in the process to Auditionville are much more important. The ride to Auditionville is a mindset. Some of your opportunities are in plain view. Most of them are hidden behind that little blinking cursor on Google's homepage. Let’s say, for grins, you want to audition for a new position in your company, reach a big client, start a new role. What are you willing to do to prepare for your next opportunity instead of just showing up? Hop on the train to Auditionville. The ride is righteous! Until next week, it’s full speed ahead, Vince PS Alex and Isabella got their parts. Max will find out March 2 nd Should you wish to invest in learning tools (click picture below) on how to improve your ride to Auditionville. 100% of your money will go to education.
(Specifically - see picture above to see who's education.) Take a look...
The author of this 70 Second eBrief is Vince Poscente. He's a New York Times bestselling author, shorter than he looks and shoots left in hockey. In the Olympic Winter Games in Albertville, he skied for the Canadian team at an incredible 135 mph. (216.7 kmph... sounds faster when you say it like that) He's 50 but has the body of a 49 year old.
Want to accelerate towards your BIG GOALS but have customers dragging you down? Worse yet, have a customer who says, "I'm never shopping with you again. EVER!" That's enough to make you hide under the pillow.
I'm experiencing that right now with a vendor and, to be frank, he's convinced I'm the bad past customer. Clearly he has his point of view and he made it clear by burning a bridge with his last email. Had he taken a moment - and a breath - then reached out to see what the issue was exactly he wouldn't have taken the low road.
It's fascinating when we humans take our point of view, mix it with an intense desire to be right then throw in a cup of anger and an unhealthy slice of frustration how the concoction just doesn't bake the way we want it to.
Let's not get into the "he said, she said" details. Suffice to say, burning a bridge is never a good idea. Especially if that bridge lead to a person who is a professional speaker, gives keynote presentations to 50,000 people a year, is a prolific author communicating to tens of thousands of people and is looking to add stories to his next New York Times Bestselling book. ;-)
Play nice next time and you'll get the postive word of mouth you seek for your business. This means more sales, increased referrals and happy customers - present and past.
Those pesky Roman invaders were at it again.
The Greeks. They were sick and tired of another invasion. And so the story goes...
Particularly, they were cheesed-off the Roman soldiers would come back and drink all their wine.
This time the Greeks decided to kick the Romans right in their taste buds. They poured pine tar in the wine.
Sure enough, those returning soldiers turned their Roman Noses up at the eeky wine.
Been to Greece? Ever tasted Retsina? You'd turn your nose up too.
Sure, it's an acquired taste. Just like Vegemite is an acquired taste in Australia, like Kimchi is in Korea or Haggis is an acquired taste ... ON MARS.
But once you acquire that taste you'll realize we have many senses that can take us back to a time, a place and MOST importantly - a feeling.
A taste of Retsina today takes me back to sitting on a Greek Island overlooking the Aegean Sea. I can hear the music in the background as the fresh Mediterranean air brushed past my face. All this from a white wine that tastes like a railway tie.
Here's what I've learned on my path to the speaker hall of fame in speaking:
As an opening keynote speaker your number one job is to give people a feeling. When the audience experiences the best motivational speaker they've ever seen they will never forget him. When a closing keynote speaker delivers an unforgettable message, she has likely taken the audience on a "sensory" ride.
That is why I am a speaker who stands on a chair to describe what it's like to ski in the Olympics. I want the audience to feel the snow and wind. I want their heartbeat to rise and their mouths to get dry from (imagined) fear. This has little to do with the practical business content of accelerating towards BIG GOALS for my clients. BUT... if I didn't give the audience an experience - a feeling - they would NEVER remember the content in the first place.
The net effect is the audience never forgets an experience. When it comes time, at some conference planning meeting, and someone say's "Who's the best motivational speaker on the circuit right now?" There will be those who immediately remember Vince Poscente.
Why? Because they were taken back to a feeling - where their senses were stimulated.
Want your clients to remember you for better referrals and repeat business?
Give them an experience.
HINT: Pouring pine tar in their coffee will give them an experience but not the one you might want. You see the Romans stopped invading Greece after the whole Retsina invention. Coincidence or a clue?