Live Fully Not Fearfully to Build Confidence

Posted by Vince Poscente on Mon, Feb 06, 2012 @ 05:57 PM

Every punch he threw, I blocked with my face. With a broken nose repaired and the stitches healed, a lesson presented itself. The lesson to this motivational speaker went beyond the realm of being a business consultant. It's about how we live.

A year ago, in a men’s recreational league hockey game, a young man’s feelings were hurt by some aggressive play on my part. Sure, I deserved to be sent to the box for stopping him from scoring a goal with what’s called “good penalty.” But he just went off. He did something I hadn’t seen, face to fist, in 45 years of playing the game.

We got into an altercation. No biggie. It happens all the time. Good ol’ frisky business, if you know what I mean. But then his eyes rolled into the back of his head and he went crazy. He threw his gloves off (mine stayed on), tore my helmet off causing two deep lacerations from the cage clips into my forehead (his helmet and cage stayed on), pulled me into a head lock and proceeded to pound my face until my nose was pointed east. As he was punching, this twenty something hot-head said, “So you think you’re tough now - old man?”

describe the imageOld man? Really? Forty-nine is old?

This seemed to be the consensus for the following two weeks while my face was a cross between Frankenstein and a beef taco.

“Aren’t you too old for that?” Said some. Others said, “I’m sorry that happened.” Followed by, “Aren’t you too old for that?”

My integrity as a father was also questioned by well-meaning, “aren’t you too old for that” advisors. “You have responsibilities at home. You’ve got kids. You can’t go play hockey with people at home who depend on you.”

Should I continue to play hockey? Hmmm. (psst... I still am with two goals scored in our game last week)

Here’s what I know: It’s fun. I enjoy it. It’s a great work out. I’m a good hockey player, in good shape and don’t feel old on or off the ice. I feel good.

If you’re facing a decision, take the advice from this keynote speaker, you’ll decide based on what feels right - to you.

Before my kids were born I learned how to fly a sailplane. That was fun too. After our first child was born I had a close call that could have ended in a crash. It took all of 30 seconds to reflect and decide: This was not the level of risk I was willing to take. Motivation in the workplace had nothing to do with this decision. It was motivating to be a dad that took healthy risks not life threatening ones.

Responsibility is a double-sided coin. The other ‘responsibility’ is one of example. What example do you give when you make decisions based on fear? Should you take risks or avoid them? What makes a risk appropriate for you?

Minimizing the risk is ultimately what makes any effort palatable. If the risk is too great, then you’ll know. It won’t feel right.

describe the imageIf the risk is reduced and acceptable, it will feel okay.

Do mistakes and accidents happen? Yes.

Can you ever be certain? No.

Let’s bottom-line this!

Which feels better?

Living in fear or living fully?

You'll build confidence and have no lack of motivation when you live fully, not fearfully.