On the night of the full moon, we strolled in Marfa’s West Texas countryside. The lunar shadows were distinct. On this warm night the whole family played with elongated silhouettes along the smooth path. Except, Alex…at first.
The nocturnal spotlight detailed five walking shapes - the Poscente gaggle. Max and Dad were out front. Max, as Frankenstein, lumbered with straight arms and legs. Dad (Motivational Speaker - Vince Poscente) was Steve Martin’s, King Tut. Isabella turned her petite 11-year-old frame into a 12-foot ballerina. In the middle, Alex suddenly realized what was happening.
Bursting ahead, she announced with innocent, that’s-so-Alex – “I need to get out of everyone’s shadow.”
You see - her brother performed that day at Padre’s. Also, he superceded 80 talented, teenage guitar players to be accepted to the top Arts Magnet School in the US - Booker T. Washington. Her little sister danced with the NY Baroque Ballet recently. Her mom casts a larger-than-life shadow with her entrepreneurial verve booking motivational speakers. Her dad is an Olympian, motivational keynote speaker and New York Times bestselling author.
In a family of overachievers – getting out of everyone’s shadow can be challenging. But casting a shadow won’t be an issue for Alex. Last weekend she took the final bow as the lead in an Arlington 'CATS' musical. She also just received her recent trimester mark in seventh grade. She earned a 98% average. She works hours on her homework every night. She does extra reading to feed her curiosity. To anyone who will listen she explains her ambition.
She wants top marks to get scholarships into the best schools. She’ll confidently follow this as “one of the stars on Saturday Night Live.” Then “be President of the United States.” Being out front is part of Alex’s persona. At the age of five, on Y-Guides campouts, she would lock in on adventure trails determined to get out in front of everyone. But the achievement issue is a complex mine field for children if not navigated properly.
In the drive to be in front, on top, the best, brightest, most accomplished there can be negative repercussions. Consider a documentary creating an underground sensation – The Race to Nowhere. It speaks to our education system’s trend toward stressed-out kids; sitting in a classroom for eight hours while being drilled with a message of perfection followed by extracurricular over scheduling. This can topple even the most self-assured kid.
In Daniel Goleman's emotional intelligence research of successful people who’ve made extraordinary contributions to business, science, literature and art, precious few of them got straight A’s in school. But all had exemplary emotional intelligence. If our goal is to develop independent thinkers and confident students then surging out from everyone’s shadow is an excellent step.
Equating cast-your-own-shadow with top marks, achievement medals or special honors can be a hazardous notion. Cast a shadow on your own, self-assured terms while letting kids, be kids.
Oh, and be nice to Alex. She might get you SNL tickets and she could very well be running things by 2048.
For more fun stories about ideas from keynote speaker Vince Poscente. Click Silver Bullets.
