Business Motivational Speaker to Whack or Detach

Posted by Vince Poscente on Wed, Apr 18, 2012 @ 10:44 AM

Arguing with your teenager can feel like game of tetherball. Detached intention makes the conversation as relaxed as keeping a beach ball in the air. You pick.

It’s fun playing tetherball against little squirts. You can always win. Whack the ball over their cute little heads and they don’t stand a chance. Sound mean? We parents do it without thinking. “We’ve made plans. We’re leaving at 5 pm and you will go!” WHACK. Unenlightened managers? You do it too. You’re the tall dude whacking your agenda around the pole. How’s everyone enjoying that?

But when kids grow into adult bodies, well before the brain catches up, the game gets fiercer. Teens realize they can whack your ideas right back. Let the games begin. It can be frustrating for both parent and their offspring.

homes of hopeA friend asked if we’d join his family on a Homes of Hope trip during Memorial Day weekend. A perfect teaching opportunity for a family of a motivational keynote speaker. Our 14 year-old found he would end up missing the last day of school. He announced to Mom, “I’m not going. I’m staying for an 8 th grade party. Only 30 people are invited.” Fortunately, I was out of the room. I waited until the next day to get out the beach ball.

“Max, tell me more about your plan?” A question lobbed from a neutral position.

He detailed his idea to leave on Saturday. Staying with friends, he’d catch a taxi to the airport, fly to San Diego then find a cab to our Mexican destination.

“I wonder how we can pull that off?” I sincerely thought out loud.

“Why? Are you saying I can’t go?” he said, lining up the tetherball.

“Not at all. I’m just trying to figure out how to make that happen.” I explained the Homes of Hope shuttle would take us safely south of Tijuana. Instead of whacking back all the rational reasons why he was wrong, I waited for him to figure out the best way to join us.

Become detached to the outcome and the outcome finds you.

Max has all the facts now. If there was such a shuttle, it would cost hundreds of dollars to get him to Ensenada late for something he knows he’d enjoy. Nobody’s bloodied and bruised from the tetherball from hell. Max will feel better about missing the party if it’s his idea.

Become a better parent, superior manager, healthier communicator. Detach yourself from the outcome. Be very, very clear on your intention then let go the specific result you image you have control over. Rational minds and positive results tend to prevail.

Also, detached intention still involves action. No one ever “intended” their way to a gold medal. The gold medal is won by being great at what you do and trusting, today’s your day. Gold medal or not, the winner is the person who gets the very best from him or herself.

Detached intention will lead the way to you where you want to go.

Until next week, it’s full speed ahead,

Vince Poscente


 

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NY Times bestselling author, Vince Poscente, is the founder of Libretto Publishing and has written five books translated into more than twenty languages. He writes about harnessing the speed of change, the way to reach BIG GOALS in less time, the potential of human capital, how to get out of your own way and best of all, instant impact with lasting influence.

Tags: Self Development, Motivational, Business Leadership, Inspirational