Recently I was asked on Wbap News Talk 820 if Mr. Rushdie’s family thanked me for helping subdue his attacker. “No. I’m just glad he’s okay. But I do know, he owes me a beer.” This cracked up the radio hosts and leads to a good question.
What role, if, or when should humor happen after tragedy?
💡 Note: There's an entire section in Jamestown’s National Comedy Center dedicated to answering "Too soon?"
Think back to 18 days after New York's 9 11 tragedy. One quandary was to postpone or proceed with SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE's 27th Season Premiere. Paul Simon opened with The Boxer. Next, the executive producer asked, “Can we be funny?” New York's mayor said, “Why start now?”
This was a pressure release for an entire nation. An inflection point for mending hearts as we each stumbled forward.
MLK Jr. said, “The ultimate tragedy is not the oppression and cruelty by the bad people but the silence over that by the good people.” Silence in tragedy is deafening. Laughter amidst pain is medicine.
Immediately after Salman Rushdie’s near-fatal stabbing, I came back shaking. As one of a few who subdued the assailant, I later returned to friends at a writer’s retreat. Before I broke the news of Mr. Rushdie’s attack, everyone was excited for the day ahead. The room flipped into quiet and sustained shock. After a time, Jon, who is inherently kind and funny, said, “Vince, I came close to joining the event this morning. But… it’s probably good that I didn’t because while you were heroically jumping on stage, I would've feverishly ran the other way.”
Jon's humor did more than interrupt the traumatized mood, it was a salve for the soul. It was a catalyst for healing. It allowed us to embrace the process of recovery rather than stay frozen in the quagmire of stuckness.
Here’s to Rushdie's recovery as we face life's challenging earthquakes and aftershocks.
#Rushdie #ComedyTragedy #setbacktobreakthrough
When Your Focus Goes Up, Everything Changes.
Twelve months before competing in the Olympics I seized a chance to train with some of the best speed skiers in the world: The French. During this time, there was one day that changed my life.
It was a snow day. This means it snowed too much for us to train outside.
Near the base of Les Arc 2000, 22 athletes assembled in a gymnasium.
Remember, these are amazing human beings in peak physical aptitude and condition.
Allow me to translate what the coach said. “Get on this rope and walk the length of it.”
Each of us took a turn a mere 18 inches off the floor. Zero progress. Only side to side flopping of arms that would make Kermit the Frog envious.
Phillipe Goitschel (next year he won the silver medal) flailed. He couldn’t stay on the rope.
Finally, after 45 minutes, as everybody had multiple tries, no one succeeded.
The coach bided his time until his teaching moment broke the frustration.
“STOP! Stop looking at the rope. STOP LOOKING AT THE ROPE!!” He stared at each person surrounding him. “Look at a point where you want to end up. Do not take your eyes off that.”
Phillipe pushed to the front and hopped up. He alternated between looking at the rope and looking at a point on the wall. He failed to advance.
“STOP!” urged the coach. “Just look at the point on the wall where you want to end up. The rope will always be underneath you. Your feet will always be at the end of your legs. Just focus on the point you have chosen.”
Phillipe locked in on a peg at eye level. Et voila. He virtually glided to the end of the rope.
Within ten minutes, 22 athletes went from being unable to walk even five feet on the rope, to walking the length of the rope, turning around, and coming back.
Just by changing the focus.
Are you laser-focused on the exact point you wish to go or are you concerned about where you may fail? Look up and go.
#focus #leadershipskills #salesskills #inspiration #setbacktobreakthrough
Are you growing your Empathy Muscle?
People are born with empathy solely on the feeling level. Infants seem to understand when something is wrong with another person. Over time, empathy matures. The empathy grows and evolves from just a feeling to including an intellectual understanding.
NYU Developmental Psychologist Martin L Hoffman researched infant and toddlers’ empathy capabilities. 👶 A one-year-old attempts to comfort a crying friend by bringing over Mommy, even though the friend’s mother was also in the room.
Harvard Psychologist Robert Rosenthal devised the largest study on the topic of empathy. It was named The Profile of Nonverbal Sensitivity. It defined how people read non-verbal messages. Testing over 7,000 Americans and folks from 18 other countries, subjects viewed a videotape of a young woman who expressed a cadre of emotions. Scenes included motherly love, jealous anger, seduction, disgust, compassion, and rejection. One or more nonverbal cues were edited out alongside muffled sound. Essentially, the viewer could only see portions of the screen, from facial expressions in one scene or isolated body movements in another. Hence, the viewer was left to interpret the nonverbal cues.
Rosenthal’s studies found that people who better interpreted nonverbal cues were more socially adept, better adjusted, and more sensitive.
Three main findings were revealed:
1️⃣ Women were more empathic than men.
2️⃣ During the 45-minute test, men’s empathetic skills improved.
3️⃣ Studying over 1,000 children: highly empathic students were the most popular among peers, emotionally stable, and had better grades regardless of IQ scores.
💡In times of personal, professional, and societal earthquakes, it’s important to gain a higher ground of empathy.
➡️ Consider this a challenge for each of us to improve our respective Empathy Muscles.
#leadershipskills #solutions #empathy #NonVerbalSensitivity
Without experience, how will you have confidence? Without confidence, how can you expect great results?
Adapt the old-school flashcard technique in the safety of your mind. Use Stressful Scenario Flashcards to ‘experience solutions’ to nerve-racking situations. Rotate flashcard scenarios until you instinctively have more confidence.
More confidence means better performance. Better performance translates into optimum results.💡
🐘Your elephantine subconscious mind doesn’t differentiate the difference between imagined or real experiences.
🐜 Your ant-like conscious mind might know you only visualized a certain situation, but your elephant-sized subconscious believes it happened.
🤬 Example: Think of a time when some guy said something nasty to you. He only said it once but you repeatedly reimagined the experience. You even fantasize what you should have said in reply.
😤 It only, happened once. But you experienced it multiple times. Therefore, small setbacks seem bigger than they are. Your active subconscious believed it happened recurrently. Use this experiential phenomenon to your advantage.
Stressful Scenario Flashcards are a Tool to Build Confidence.
Here are important insights for Stressful Scenario Flashcards:
1️⃣ ‘Experientialize’ how well you’d handle a bad situation.
2️⃣ Your “stressful situation” doesn’t have to be realistic.
3️⃣ Your imaginative solution doesn’t have to be realistic. Use all 5-senses. Imagine expertly handling a stressful situation.
4️⃣ Create dozens of stress-inducing scenarios. Write each one on a flashcard. Don’t write solutions. Use your fertile imagination to conjure real time solutions.
5️⃣ Every day, run through an imagined, stress-free solution.
6️⃣ ‘Experientialize’ multiple scenarios each day.
7️⃣ At the end of each imagined experience, lock in on the feeling of confident satisfaction.
Over time you’ll have more confidence and optimum results.
#confidence #salestools #leadershipskills #businessadvice
Twelve breakthrough choices that will lead to 💯 freedom.
💡We’re each susceptible to what we take in. Be the architect of your thoughts as you stay in ‘choice mode.’ Here are 12 Breakthrough Choices.
1️⃣ When someone judges you, they’re telling you about them — not you.
2️⃣ When someone judges a situation, they’re telling you about their truth.
3️⃣ When someone expresses what they fear, they’re admitting what’s possible in their future.
4️⃣ When someone expresses what angers them, they’re triggered by what they see in themselves.
5️⃣ You don’t have to own a version of truth voiced by someone you admire.
6️⃣ You don’t have to own a perspective of reality from someone influential.
7️⃣ You don’t have to embrace someone else’s repetitive messages.
8️⃣ You don’t have to be polarized by your own narrative.
9️⃣ How you step back from a situation will reveal how to step into understanding.
🔟 How you make active listening a priority will develop next-level relationships.
11. How you choose to run toward, or from, fear will expose the size of that fear.
12. How you prioritize awareness over snap judgement will define your life.
Dear reader, be the architect of your mindset with each deliberate choice you make.
Which breakthrough listed above speaks to you?
Which person in your life would be open to these breakthroughs?
#mindset #freedom #ease #lifehack
Cynics can kill a corporate culture. Skeptics can heal it.
What is the definitive difference between a cynic and a skeptic?
“A CYNIC is a faultfinding captious critic; especially one who believes that human conduct is motivated wholly by self-interest.”
A SKEPTIC is “inclined to question or doubt all accepted opinions.” (Merriam Webster)
Cynics are like cancer to culture while the skeptics are like a warning light on a vehicle. If the engine isn’t running optimally, there will be issues down the road.
True Story: A CEO hired me to speak at their “All Hands” meeting.
➡️He saw me speak at YPO.
➡️I visited the company HQ.
➡️They published books.
➡️They’re now out of business.
“Vince, can you help?”
One of the SVPs was clearly a cynic. He was an angry, vindictive person who was a massive distraction during their meeting. Meanwhile, the culture was struggling. Revenue was declining.
The response to my speech? From everyone, except Mr. Cynic…“Bring this guy back.”
To fully prepare my consulting and coaching services, I flew back to HQ to interview all company levels, even Mr. Cynic.
Findings: There were two main offices separated by two buildings. Executives were in one building. The rank and file were in another. Employees didn’t feel appreciated or listened to. Executives couldn’t figure out what “The employees’ problems were?”
Meeting with the CEO, three recommendations topped the list:
1️⃣ Mr. Cynic needed to be fired.
2️⃣ The CEO and executives needed to office amongst the rest of the staff.
3️⃣ “Management by walking around” was urgently needed.
From a Consultant: The skeptic’s approach was necessary.
Result: I didn’t get hired for an extended contract.
Moral of the story?
If you don’t hire me, you’ll go out of business! 😜Nah, too cynical.
Let’s go with: Protect your skeptics. They may be a warning light worth paying attention to.
#consulting #coaching #truthtellers #ReservoirLLC #setbacktobreakthrough
Audio branding impact isn’t just for large corporations. Entrepreneurs who seek distinction from their competition are in on the sound logo advantage. A sound logo will elevate your brand and better connect with your customers.
Audio branding is not new. If I were to quiz you on the following sound logos, chances are you’ll be able to sing them immediately.
Intel Corporation, Netflix, HBO, McDonald's.
A good logo resonates with the sense of sight and is meant to elicit an emotional response. Adding the sense of sound further elevates a customer’s experience of your product or service.
Audio branding is next-level entrepreneurship. Just ask GaryVee (Gary Vaynerchuk) about the Rise of Audio Branding as a competitive advantage. He promotes audio branding as important.
"Sonic branding is about how your brand sounds and how it gets recalled or remembered — like the little jingle at the beginning of video games or the sound when you boot up your computer. It’s about to become dramatically more important for every single brand."
Note that jingles are the predecessor to sound logos. In fact, there's anecdotal evidence that Elizabethan musicians, wandering from town to town in the 16th century, were known to be sponsored by local entrepreneurs to come up with catchy tunes. Over the centuries, music has been used to enhance a company's brand image.
The next iteration of sound branding is audio logos. With the addition of sound and the subtle difference of a moving logo, your audience (or customer) is trained to get a shot of endorphins. Think of THX prior to a movie. That bone rattling wwwwwwwoooohhhhmmmmm sets up the audience for a "This is about to go down."
Where can you get a Champagne Sound Logo on a Beer Budget? ➡️ Max
Full disclosure, Max (25) is my son. I learned about the impact of audio branding from him. He produces audio branding and sound logos for companies of all sizes who are wanting to elevate their customer experience. If you'd like to learn more about how a sound logo would benefit your business, call Max at 214-240-9987.
In the meantime, continue to implement ways to connect your brand promise with a memorable experience.
#customerexperience #soundlogo #businessgrowth #audiobranding #aboutyou
“How did you get the Dalai Lama to endorse your book?” I Met a Monk, Who Knew a Monk, Who Knew a Monk.
The detailed answer is more about how you may find the perfect person who’ll help your cause.
Are you looking for a better job? The best architect? A Whale Client? The Dalai Lama to endorse your book? Don’t stop at one connection. Put yourself in a position until there’s a metaphorical monk, who knows a monk, who knows a monk.
In 2019 I organized an expedition to the Himalayas. A tendon in my ankle snapped just a few days before the trailhead. It was tough to see the team and my daughter Alex leave without me.
“What happens now?” I wondered.
Ankit Sood (destination host and friend) decided we would tour through Northern India. En route to some fascinating locations, we ran into a friend of Ankit. Raj was part of the security detail for The Dalai Lama.
“Would you like to meet the Dalai Lama when you’re in Dharamsala?” Raj asked.
While his offer never came to pass, I had met a monk, named Tenni.
Tenni tracked down Monk #2, the secretary of His Holiness. He knew Monk #3, the US point person for The Dalai Lama.
Meanwhile, after I returned to the US, Ankit took my spot in meeting the Dalai Lama with a draft of The Earthquake in hand.
Over time Monk #3 made it clear the Dalai Lama’s quote
“Life has its ups and downs; however, we should never give up hope… The Earthquake will inspire many to meet the difficult challenges of life,”
was not an endorsement, “It’s a blurb.”
Getting the blurb is that easy. Organize a trip to India. Change your plans. Meet Ankit’s friend Raj. Befriend Tenni. Find, two more monks, ship books, send 48 emails, and there you have it. A Dalai Lama blurb on the cover of your book.
*Team: Lindsey Max M. Patrick Capetillo Sydney Ace Kirina Mike Alex and Chris
#DalaiLama #Connections #KevinBacon #TheEarthquake #setbacktobreakthrough
✔️ To get The Earthquake signed for you by visiting our store link above
➡️ Or get the book faster at www.Amazon.com
You may think you're the exception. BUT... everyone has Blind Spot Bias.
We each have a tendency to see other people being more biased than we are. In fact, in one study - over 85% of Americans reported they are less biased in their thinking.
People are motivated to see themselves in a positive light while biases are generally seen as undesirable.
Everyone has unconscious patterns and personal ‘factory defects’ if you will. There are things about each of us, we don’t know we have.
Let’s say elbow skin for example.
Roll your sleeve up and give your elbow skin a pinch. There, see that, you have no feeling in your elbow skin. A factory defect you weren’t likely aware of.
Another 'factory defect'... you have a Blind Spot.
Take this quick test. Cover your left eye. Keep your right eye on the + sign while you slowly bring your face closer to the screen. At some point the black spot will disappear then reappear. THAT is your blind spot.
When it comes to topics you’re passionate about, you also have a combination of blind spots. Blind Spot biases are enhanced by confirmation bias and repetition bias. You recognize data as aligning with your way of seeing the world, and bingo you have reinforced or confirmed your bias. Or, you hear a certain bit of information repeatedly and you are in the sights of repetition bias.
If you hold your gaze from a fixed position, there is nothing you can do about your optical bias. It is by seeing something from a different angle or position will you then see what you couldn’t see before. The same can be said in life.
If you are posting your bias on social media or arguing your point with a significant other, know, you may have an unconscious bias, A BLIND SPOT that’s a factory defect somewhat like the unfeeling elbow skin of objectivity.
For leaders and sales folks who are driving forward without an awareness of your blind spot biases... give us a call. The value of an outside perspective can be priceless.
#Goals #selfawareness #biases #BusinessLeadership #setbacktobreakthrough
For the next few paragraphs, I’m going to take my own advice and share a life-altering event in the hopes that this experience may help someone. As an author and speaker, I encourage others to be transparent, vulnerable, and honest so I need to do the same.
How do I recount the violent attack on Salman Rushdie while describing my role in protecting him? To be candid, I struggle with this. Friends encouraged me to write what I honestly still can’t grasp.
It was a serene August morning on Lake Chautauqua. Arriving early, I took a front-row seat at a literary festival. Peace quickly distorted into chaos as an assailant leaped on stage and repeatedly stabbed Rushdie. * (The grotesque sound of the blade thrust into a vulnerable body is what haunts me as I write this.) I was not alone in realizing Rushdie needed immediate help.
A few steps onto the stage, three of us were able to overpower the assailant. Grabbing his collar with my right hand, I pulled the entire pile of bodies away from Rushdie. The guy on my left secured an arm. A guy on my right repeatedly said, “Pin the knife.” A police officer joined in and cuffed the assailant's wrists.
Citizens came to Rushdie’s aid too. Soon I recognized I wasn't needed any longer. The host asked everyone to calmly leave.
Sensing a logjam of people, police, and eyewitness reports, I walked toward the exit but stopped to see Rushdie lying in a pool of blood. He was cared for by a doctor and others from the venue.
Without any burden of second-guessing, the surreal experience keeps replaying in my mind - and heart.
Friends have said words like courageous and brave. That’s what it might look like from the outside. From my perspective, I was simply among those nearest to help.
Others have admitted they don't think they would have jumped in. Running toward chaos is an unnerving notion when personal safety is threatened. Meanwhile seeing something, then doing something is the instinct to protect.
It is clear that how quickly we choose to act and what we do matters beyond our comprehension! It is also clear we each have a choice to be a bystander or an upstander. There have been times in my life when I've done one or the other.
My personal earthquake and the aftershocks pale in comparison to what Salman Rushdie will have to recover from. It is Rushdie who is the courageous one. He is a warrior of free speech and will be undaunted by censors or threats.
*After being stabbed over ten times, Mr. Rushdie is on the path to recovery. May we all hold his well-being in our thoughts.
#chaos #PTSD #Rushdie #freespeech #setbacktobreakthrough