This is for the guys who need it:

Boy or a Man

A boy wants to play hard. A man works hard so he can play.

A boy hides from responsibility. A man seeks it.

A boy avoids pain. A man deals with it.

A boy jumps in puddles. A man makes the puddles go away.

A boy reaches for the flame. A man starts a fire and keeps it burning.

A boy doesn’t like to get his feelings hurt. A man embraces feelings head on.

A boy worries about himself. A man worries about taking care of others.

Without earning it... a boy wants to be a man. A man earns the right to be with the boys.

A boy likes girls. A man respects women.

A boy is weak. A man is strong.

Are you a boy or a man?

It was an innocent road trip. Four acquaintances, fans of Jack Johnson, hopped into Chester’s SUV for a three-day escape from San Francisco to Napa Valley. By the end of the experience, three friends knew they’d never travel with Chester again. It was a shame. Adorable Chester, burdened by an idiosyncrasy, alienated three potential friends.

Everyone wants to feel special. Some tattoo or pierce themselves. Others are motivated by hairstyles, moustaches, building muscles or following hobbies. Feeling unique and authentic are passionate pursuits. Yet, allow one genuine, but annoying idiosyncratic behavior encroach on someone else’s homeostasis and alienation sets in.

Chester’s idiosyncrasy? Mysaphobia (aka germophobia). Indeed, germs are no one’s friend. Yet, Chester made it an unavoidable anxiety, as if he were swinging a gladiator’s spiked ball at the end of a chain. The group couldn’t go anywhere without feeling they were stepping on his Purelled toes. A bag of chips had to be poured into individual plates because of what he described as, “feces covered hands.” Breaking bread as a group was a version of Cirque de Soleil. His SUV was guarded like the inside of a Hazmat suit.

Chester, 45, is handsome, friendly, kind, generous, fun and adventurous. Yet, he is frustrated much of the time. He is single and struggling in life. Like the rest of us, he will find his way. But his journey will be burdensome if he continues to alienate others.

Being special is important. Having idiosyncrasy’s is normal. Where, pray tell, is the line between acceptable and repulsive?

Let’s say you have an idiosyncrasy such as being blunt. You don’t intend to be cruel. You don’t mean to offend. But you can leave a swath of hurt feelings every time you open your pie hole.

Or, your idiosyncrasy is being an introvert. This perfectly acceptable trait doesn’t mean you’re ignoring someone. But the message being interpreted is arrogance or distrust. Extroverts can be the victim of the diametric interpretations of insecurity or self-centeredness.

The answer lies in blending before bleeding. One of the life skills gained from learning aikido, or most other martial arts, is the art of blending with an oncoming force. Instead of striking or blocking an opponent, blending with the force will avoid any injury. If the oncoming force is insignificant, then there is no harm. If the oncoming force appears overwhelming, then blending is the key.

If you’re a passionate extrovert or patient introvert then allow people to know what you’re all about. Communicate your intent with others first. If you’re blunt, then preface your intent before your gums start flapping. Whatever your idiosyncrasy, blend with communication not defensiveness or counter attacks.

In Chester’s case, he never attempted to temper his idiosyncrasy by blending his needs. For example, comfortably admitting he was “something of a germophobe but never wanting the idiosyncrasy to impinge on the road trip” would have done wonders. He could have brought his own little bag of chips. Used hand sanitizer without a fuss.

Blend before bleeding.

You could hear the frustration oozing from the phone. For seven years he has been trying to solo-climb out of his financial situation. "You've been there," he said deflated, "What do you do?"

"Three things: Be happy now. Add value. Be grateful."

You can't control your environment. You can control what you bring to your environment.

1. Be Happy Now - Of all the things that each of us needs reminding about - Being present or in the moment, is  the most important. The past can weigh around your neck and wrists like wood stocks of old. The imaginary impact the future can have is equivalent to those dreams that seem so real, while you, in fact, lay safely in bed. If now is all you have then, why not be happy now? Also, you may notice that people are drawn to people having fun. 
2. Add Value - Woody Allen once said that '99 percent of life is showing up.' Cute but irrelevant today. Not even close! (Unless you add the words, "with value.") What value can you bring to people today? What talents do you have that give you energy. Using those talents to add value raises your energy level. And people are attracted to energy. '99 percent of life is showing up with value.'
3. Be Grateful - Gratitude is a calming force. No two things can occupy the same space at the same time. If you are in the state of gratitude, your brain has no room for the state of FREAKING OUT. Gratitude is also the great equalizer. When you are thankful your energy rises. Those who are grateful have an enlightened appeal. Gratitude is a natural magnet for other positive people.

Can you see the common thread on the path to getting out of a rut?

When you're happily adding value in a state of gratitude you attract like minded people. That is true wealth. Rich in spirit, friendships and opportunity set the stage for financial wealth too. 

When you're 'rich' in all manners of the word, does it get any better than that? "The rich get richer," yet moments ago you may have been frustrated and alone. How perfect is that?

At the heart of Bloomberg’s Manhattan offices is the complimentary food court. Nothing brings people together like chow. But for Big Biz Bloomberg, food’s not on the leadership's menu. Instead, they know by bringing people together, there is a recipe for innovation.

Bloomberg’s HQ features, low barrier cubicles, open offices, glass conference rooms, elevators at every other floor and multiple, open staircases between levels. Central to their 23 stories, is the sixth floor. All traffic must channel through the lobby. The premise is concise. When people cross paths they make connected inroads towards progress.

Interaction by design is not new. Thomas Edison made sure his lab had plenty of interactive opportunities. Interfacing with people, materials, projects and environments was at the center of Edison’s innovation. In Edison’s words, “Hell, there are no rules here – we’re trying to accomplish something.”

Up until fairly recently, separating senior executives from employees was the norm. Now, personnel and officers routinely mix. A walk through the amped-up Zappo’s facility or an elder corporate entity, State Farm, floor plans feature an open, collaborative work environment as the new-normal. 

The first obvious question: “Isn’t an open environment distracting?” According to Michael Bloomberg, shutting out distraction is a skill. The assumption is that people will adapt. Take a random sampling of employees who work in an interactive workspace and the response is consistent. Yes, you kind of adapt. You wear headphones. It can still be distracting and frustrating.

The International Management Facility Association states that nearly 70 percent of US employees work in open office plans. But the love affair with a collaborative setting by minimizing cubicles or offices has proved ineffective when the “ability to focus was not also considered,” evidenced in a recent study by the Gensler design agency. In other words, if collaboration trumps focus, neither is effective. 

Google is known for its obsession with tweaking an idea until they get it right. Such is the case with their office space. Open work areas are mixed with, flexible furniture, private and semi-private settings. It seems the ghost of Thomas Edison is alive and well at Google.

Well ahead of his time, Edison instinctively knew a collaborative dynamic was critical in the pursuit of innovation. He mixed machine shop equipment, alongside chemical laboratories, office space and wood lathes for prototyping models. Although he set aside his own office space, it doubled as the company library. Each employee was encouraged to work in the library, or any other space, as desired. Thomas Edison favored networks over hierarchies. His dedication to a learning centric environment was clearly a boon to 20th century innovations.

Here are the 3 Motivational Ingredients for Innovation at Work. 

Be a:
• “Cross Path” Planner – Structure settings and processes for crossing paths with your network of colleagues. 
• “Quiet Retreat” Strategist – Erase distractions when needed.
• “Collaboration” Mixologist – Don’t just rely on a dyad for idea exchange. Make sure your collaboration cocktail has 3 or more people in it. 

Add this recipe to your innovation cookbook for delicious, motivational progress.

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A number of marketing minds wondering the same thing about the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge, "How can we create similar success for our cause?" 

The Challenge has raised nearly $42 million to support research into Lou Gehrig’s disease. Heck, there are people doing the challenge without a clue about ALS. Celebrities are looking at creative ways to get on board for a good cause. Grandparents are challenging their grandkids, neighbors are challenging baseball teams.

Below are the elements that have helped make the Ice Bucket Challenge popular. These same elements can be used for a cause you'd like to promote:

• It's Unique, Fun to Watch and Fun to Do. YouTube and Facebook videos continue to experience explosive growth in viewership. Fun is viral. Unique is intriguing. If it's unique, fun to watch and do, then you have triple the probability of it being viral.
• Put a Person in FRONT of a Cause (Not a Cause Before all Else). Last year between July 29 and August 21st the ALS 'Cause' brought in $2.1m. In the same period this year... $41.8 m. Why? One person challenged others. If it were just a cause, the motivational stickiness of the concept is weak. Put a person in front of the cause and you get the motivational ball rolling. 
• People Love to be Noticed. The 'Challenge' is the ultimate selfie. Being relevant and noticed is a central part of the human condition. Look at the power of Yelp. Why would someone want to help or hurt a local business? It ultimately means people want their opinion to matter because they want to matter. Yelp is a magical combination of valuing someone's opinion (of being done right or wrong) and taking notice of who said it.
• When Celebrities Jump In, People Take Extra Notice. Look way, way back in history... to last year. Remember the Harlem Shake? The EDM clip got viral traction in the begining of February 2013, but it went exponentially viral When the Miami Heat did their own video of their Harlem Shake. 
• Celebrities Need to Stay in the Public Eye. Having a good cause made it a short, playful celebrity leap to a 15 second video and a cold bucket of water.

Of course, if going viral was easy, every marketing department would be motivated to get on the same wagon. But the last, and most elusive thing it takes - is to get a little lucky.

This one’s gonna sting. It's about you.

You are naturally wired to avoid doing the things you need to do to succeed. 

If you’re in sales, this ought to cause a tad more than concern. (Oh, and as the saying goes, “If you’re lips are moving, you’re in sales.”)

For those who have a product of service to sell, it’s easier to simply not call. You don’t get up in the morning and seek discomfort. Our natural instinct is to follow that path of least resistance.
Instinct is difficult to overcome. For example, how would you not blink if a beach ball was thrown at your face? Instinct is deeply ingrained into every fiber of your being.

So what’s your antidote to this pesky instinct?

1. Attach Pain to Procrastination – As you instinctively skip down the path to least resistance – use your fertile imagination to immediately play-out all the painful scenarios attached to procrastination. Bring in the 5 senses. Now, add feelings of embarrassment, disappointment, letting others down. Do this right and the pain will be too much to tolerate. You’ll jump to your own rescue.
2. Put an Aikido Move on Least Resistance – Given we instinctively dislike resistance. Use this force of dislike to your advantage. Picture this: Depositing less money in the bank. Getting fired for lack of production. Looking for a new job or new client. Just like a martial arts master uses the momentum of a ‘haymaker’ punch to redirect in a fluid throw to the ground, use the consequences of resistance as a redirect to what you should be doing.
3. Interrupt the Pattern of Least Resistance - When you realize you're slipping into the procrastination pattern, do something so physiologically unusual you psychologically pause for a reset. Example:
   • You get to the office and start arranging paperclips, seeing how many pencils you can hold with your upper lip or poking around on Facebook (same thing as paperclip arranging and lip-pencil holding).
   • Say to yourself, "Uh oh, I'm procrastinating." (with the voice of Rocky Balboa)
   • Pinch your nose with one hand while waving your right arm like a lunatic. Throw in a “whoop, whoop, whoop” as if you’re one of the Three Stooges. You’ve interrupted the pattern. (Feel free to develop your own signature move.)
   • Now, consciously and immediately follow-up this pattern interrupt with the most important thing you need to get done today. 

It’s easier to sleep in. It’s less difficult to turn on the TV than to be proactive on the phone. It’s more relaxing to stay at home than to get in the car and meet a prospect.

Stop being a creature of least resistance. Engage in the three rewiring tactics above and you’ll create an end-game of an easier life. Isn’t that 'easier life' what your instinct wanted all along?