Aspirational vision needs a kinetic nudge from intolerable exasperation. In other words, we’re motivated by discomfort over ambition. What follows is magic.

For 22 years, tucked in the corner of our property, a dilapidated greenhouse waited to be restored.

Trivia: We live where Steve Miller grew up. The land’s musical past included Dr. George Miller’s fatherly green thumb. It once bloomed with geraniums and begonias. For 60 years, 🎶 time kept on slipping, slipping, slipping into 🎶 a rundown eyesore.

Why did it years to begin repair? A combination of exasperation and aspiration was needed.

Some will quote Walt Disney, “If you can dream it, you can do it.” What if the “dream” is overwhelming? What if there are other “To Do’s” that are less daunting? Then, as our human condition is wont to do, “Not Now” rules over months and years.

Far-away goals are realized when we combine a well-defined feeling of discomfort with compelling ambition. The discomfort was A Broken Glass Monstrosity. The aspirational objective was A Sustainability Redo (prioritizing salvaged materials).

Stages included:

• Months of cleanout. Stuff had to go somewhere
• A reclaimed shed – disassembled, moved, and rebuilt
• White Rock Tree Wizards removed a 40’ dying tree hanging over the greenhouse
• Replace the roof (a tall order given a sustainability project)
• Covered a 1,000 sqft cracked-concrete floor with 2,500 bricks sourced from the Nextdoor app
• Resurfaced a double door plus a chandelier from ReStore
• Piles of nail-filled wood from a White Rock Boat Club renovation
• Flagstone and 5” posts from local demolitions
• Timeworn, corrugated tin from farmers
• Cedar fence slats repurposed for stub walls
• Make three 26" citrus tree planter cubes and planter boxes made out of leftover salvaged wood
• Soil from compost.

It all took relentless effort.

Help from family and friends appeared when most needed. Today it’s a vegetable-producing gem plus a work in progress. It’s a reminder of frustration and ambition intersecting.

Magic happens when we combine exasperation with aspiration.

PS Glass Doctor Dallas, expect a call.

#projects #greenhouse #frustration #ambition #setbacktobreakthrough

Helicopter parents can be vilified. Snowplow parents can be criticized. Some are horrified by parents who encourage their kids to jump off the bungee platform. All three styles have their place, and all have one leadership outcome in common – Build Confidence. Meet Isabella, our youngest who’s thriving in her 21^st year, and the focus of this leadership post.

A few days ago, I asked a corporate audience, “How many were athletes?” The follow-up question was, “What percentage of results in competitive environments had to do with confidence?”

From this survey of 300 folks, “80 to 100%” was the range attributed to the value that confidence brought to any given outcome in sport. Broaden the focus to the artists or salespeople. The importance of confidence is evident.

Levels of confidence play a massively significant factor in all results.

Yes, skill is a baseline factor but without substantial confidence, results will be compromised. Let’s jump back to the three parenting (read leadership) styles.

Helicopter Parenting

Hovering over your child to ensure they have a grasp on consequences is critical in the beginning. But too much helicopter parenting will inhibit a child’s confidence acumen.

Snowplow Parenting

Paving the way for smooth life experiences can be irresistible.

• “How much do you need? - - I’ll pay for it.”
• “What did that person say to you? - - I’ll take care of it.”
• “Where are you? - - I’ll come get you.”

Again, if the child is truly in danger, then getting involved up-front is essential parenting. But physical and emotional scrapes are a part of building confidence.

Bungee Jump Parenting

This parenting style has its place too. From our perspective, we always tried to make “The Jump” our kids’ idea, not “A Shove” from our agenda. For example, they’d come to us with a desire. “I want to make a documentary about the dangers of vaping for teenagers,” said a 15-year-old Isabella. Instead of making a statement of “yes” or “no.” We would ask a question, “How are you going to do that?”

We would marvel at her pursuit of raising money through babysitting or hosting Camp Fisher in our backyard. We might share some costs but “The Jump” was hers to take while she built confidence in the process.

By the time Bella hit 21 she knew the drill. If you want something, go get it.

She applied to be one of the 14 kids selected to the Prague Film Institute. 100% from her initiative, she hustled for scholarships and did video work for local entrepreneurs while she waited to see if she was selected. She ended up being chosen and instantly had the funds to jump across the pond to a study-abroad in the most magical city in Europe. After years of building her confidence muscle, she thrived and made her mark.

While there she applied for a three-day pass to attend the Cannes Film Festival. Before coming home she attended this marquis experience in her chosen field of filmmaking.

Parents and leaders who build confidence will see their kids and employees thrive.

PS Be nice to Isabella because we’ll all be working for her one day.

So, you like to have your way. Here’s a shortcut. Be the architect of your dominant thought and your truth. But we normally live with our truth and dominant thought that occurs to us. Here’s how to align your thoughts to get the outcomes you seek.

Step One: Align Your Ant and Elephant. 

Think of your conscious mind and subconscious mind as an ant and an elephant. The ant is on the back of the elephant. The conscious decisions you make are equivalent to the ant making decisions as to which direction to walk on the elephant hide. Meanwhile, the elephant is also making decisions on where to go. They (those scientists in white lab coats and thick glasses) call it SUBconscious because those thoughts are BELOW consciousness. 

Let’s say you got a birthday invite a couple of miles west of your home. You reply “Yes.” The day arrives. Your ant made a decision to go west. But your elephant walks east. You intended to be at a party on the west side but ended up at a closed-down gas station on the eastern side of town. 

Imagine this: What if your elephant goes in the same direction as you consciously decided? You aren’t just at the party. You are THE party!

Step Two: Define a Truth with an Elephant Buzz

Emotions drive thoughts. Thoughts drive behavior. Instead of trying to behave differently… Instead of trying to think differently… Focus on the Emotional Quotient. The Emotional Quotient is thought that:

• Lights you up.
• Gives you energy.
• Makes joy course through your veins. 

That is called your Elephant Buzz. A thought that literally has a physical reaction attached to it. It’s the difference between saying to a kid “Let’s go for ice cream” vs “Go clean your room.” 

If your dominant thought is exciting, your elephant will be inspired to run, not walk in the direction of your desired outcome. 

Step Three: Trigger your Dominant Thought to Create a New Truth

Personally, I like to use a Gold Dot as a reminder for my Elephant Buzz. I see a Gold Dot and I silently repeat my Elephant Buzz. For example:

• When I started ski racing, my Gold Dot statement reminded me of marching in the opening ceremonies of the Olympic Games.
• When I started speaking professionally, my Gold Dot reminded me of accepting the Speaker Hall of Fame Award.
• When I started writing books my Gold Dot statement reminded me of receiving a phone call that I would be on the New York Times bestsellers list.

What would your Gold Dot represent? Are you ready to tell the world?

If you’d like to know more about how the Ant and Elephant can work wonders in your life, check out the book, The Ant and the Elephant, Leadership for the Self. Order it from www.AntAndElephant.com and I’ll sign it for you personally. Let’s get your ant and elephant going in the direction that you decide.

What if Maslow analyzed your hybrid workforce? The good, bad, and ugly side of work from home folks can be improved with Maslow’s ‘ol hierarchy of needs. Indeed, a hybrid employee’s basic needs may be met but there’s distinct deterioration as we ascend that staffer’s experience triangle. 

Working from home checks psychological and safety boxes. To many, comfort and peace of mind from working at home are profound. It feels good to feel good. Moreover, convenience leads directly to safety. Stay at home, have everything delivered, and your chance of getting in a life-altering car wreck drops to zero. Avoid those virus-carrying masses and you compound the feeling of security. That feels extra good. But this is where the good feelings are throttled.

To seek belonging is as natural as breathing. It’s an itch that needs to be scratched. At home, the TV may be flailing around that need. If it’s on one station, your belonging is reinforced but limited. The belonging isn’t tactile, it’s tribal. Zoom may be functional but it’s not profound. A two-dimensional screen is content-rich, and in-person interaction is rich in experience. If you were only to eat donuts from a donut factory, your human experience may feel full but you’ll be isolated from balanced nourishment. 

Climbing this hierarchy and esteem doesn’t stand a chance when your own bubble of thoughts makes up all sorts of narratives. Reality may land anywhere on the spectrum of:

Enlightenment  <—>  Doubt  <—>  Full-on Negativity

Left alone with our thoughts we lack the touchstone of a more comprehensive, broader awareness. 

Extended isolation without human interaction and self-actualization becomes as fleeting as a feather in the wind. It’s a fantasy to seek fulfillment when belonging and self-esteem are pushed aside. 

Remember, I’m on the front lines of this dynamic. I’m a communicator. A writer who is often asked to give virtual presentations. I live the hybrid life! But I won’t succumb and be limited by stopping at the basics of food, shelter, clothing, and security.

• Coaching speakers and executives have me actively going to them or welcoming a home visit.
• Presenting at local conferences or far-away locales is a priority.
• Helping meeting professionals climb the total human experience is more important than ever. 

Let’s talk. Better yet, let’s meet to build a personal sense of friendship, confidence, and creative problem-solving. Let’s bring Maslow to the party and see how we can bring life to that hybrid workforce of ours.  

 #coaching #experience #workfromhome #eventsindustry #setbacktobreakthrough

Chaos can make it feel like we’re losing control. Lean too far into the chaos - turmoil wins. Lean away - it feels like flailing. Here’s where staying over your skis will help you win personally and professionally.

This is what we can learn from actual skiing. First, understand that you must remain perpendicular to the contour of the terrain. When you're standing, you're neither leaning forward nor backward. You are perpendicular to the land. As a rule, you won't fall. If you lean too far forward, you'll tumble. If you lean back too far, you'll fall as well.
 
When you learn to ski. It is one of the first things you’re taught. Stay perpendicular to the slope. The steeper the slope gets. The rule stays the same. Stay perpendicular to the slope. But that's not our instinct, is it? If the slope starts to get too steep. We lean back because we're a little nervous about falling into the imaginary abyss. Just the sight of that ski resort a mile down the mountain and the imagination runs wild. “Don’t fall. Don’t fall. Don’t fall,” and the brain tells the body, “Lean away from that danger.” Then, you fall.
 
On an increasingly steeper decline, it's against human instinct to lean over your skis. Today’s popular, if not overused aphorism is, “Stay over your skis.” We hear it regarding our personal or professional lives. Extend yourself too much and that’s literally like leaning too far forward over your skis.
 
·      Saying “yes” to everything.
·      Volunteering too much of your time.
·      Trying to do everything for your kids, family, coworkers, clients, prospects, and complainers.
 
Boom. Chaos wins and you don’t.
 
What about sitting back?  Again, we will have issues.
 
·      Sit back and wait for progress to just appear. Boom.
·      Lean away from the fear. It gets bigger.
·      Retreat from the chaos, it rages even stronger.
·      Lean too far back and we're ultimately in for a rocky ride.
 
There is that sweet spot, that zone of control, even if it is Controlled Chaos.
 
Stay over those skis. Stay perpendicular to the slope and it’s going to serve you well. If things seem to be a little bit too chaotic, check in with where you spend your time and focus.
 
Are you leaning too far forward or back?
 
If so, then find that sweet spot dynamic and enjoy the ride.
 
#chaos #TheEarthquake #overwhelmed #overcomeobstacles #setbacktobreakthrough

It’s hyper-competitive out there and we all seek ways to protect what we’ve built. There are those who are determined to attack your book of business, storm your sales territory, steal your market share, displace you from the job you enjoy, or a litany of ground assaults. Lead with value first and you will effectively create a protective moat. The more valuable your upfront offer, the more you fortify unassailable walls. Be creative with the value you provide.

Here’s an example:

This past week I attended this compelling session by @RichardBliss. He talked about the tactics to get the highest engagement on LinkedIn. While he conducted the session, a real post was initiated by an attendee.

By the end of the 90-minute course, she had over 1,000 impressions. It was impressive. I tried my own LinkedIn post and checked most of the boxes:

• Write a compelling post,
• include names of individuals,
• add original images,
• insert 3-5 hashtags,
• and make it a priority to answer all the comments that would appear in the first two magical hours of the posting.

Alas, the post only had a few dozen views.

Undeterred, I realized I needed to encourage comments by providing value to them first.

I texted 155 friends on Wednesday with an invitation to participate in this study and (here's the value part) a promise to provide the results.

At the time of posting this to you, the impressions on Thursday’s post were 4,500.

By offering value first, you are effectively competing at a higher level. With a background in ski racing, I learned it is conventional and average to do what your competition is not doing. Instead, do what the competition is not willing to do, and you’ll put a moat around your business.

With this moat of value, you will better secure that castle of yours.

#businesslife #innovation #digitalmarketing #winningstrategies #setbacktobreakthrough

A group of metaphorical creatures presents lessons about perseverance and mental strength in this guide.

There are times when values get tested (or ignored) by personal earthquakes. In particular, the pursuit of excellence can impinge when a massive or painful setback is front-of-mind.

We are all led by certain values that are inherently a filter for how we each interpret our world. Organizations have values that help them and the world they interact with interpret their position and how people see them.

The International Olympic Committee has three guiding values of Olympism. Excellence - Friendship - Respect. “They constitute the foundation on which the Olympic Movement builds its activities to promote sport, culture, and education with a view to building a better world.”

As an Olympian in the crosshairs of a financial setback around 2008, my deeply held value of “The Pursuit of Excellence” took a back seat to basic survival. (Yeah, Maslow, I get it.) This experience led me to write The Earthquake as a formula for getting back to ‘thrival’ over survival. The three things we can each do when enmeshed in a personal or interpersonal setback is:

1. Give Yourself a Break
2. Give Others a Break
3. Give it Time

As you may know, the opening line in the book, The Earthquake is, “There’s no linear way out of chaos.” Given that fact, a path of self-discovery awaits.

Read the book.

Take care.

You’ve got this.

#wegotthis #TheEarthquake #mindset #setbacks #breakthroughs 

Biography Insights:

Vince Poscente is one of the most in-demand motivational keynote and virtual presenters on the planet. His expertise in resiliency and how to overcome obstacles thrills audiences worldwide. When you bounce back stronger than ever confidence and fun goes up. Vince's client list includes world-class organizations dedicated to being bigger and better. When employees and entrepreneurs handle setbacks, supersede obstacles, and are more focused - record-setting results happen faster than expected. Vince knows first-hand how innovation, persistence fearlessness plays in your future success. He speaks from experience. His foundation is with proven tools. Where does Vince Poscente's “From Setback to Breakthrough” expertise come from? 

• Recreational skier, Vince to Olympic athlete in just four short years.
• Award-winning sales and marketing executive with the world's largest real estate investment service.
• Earned a Masters in Organizational Management while being an award-winning business owner.
• One of only four people on the planet to be inducted into the USA and Canadian Speaker Halls of Fame.
• New York Times bestselling author of eight books.
• Leader and participant on seven Himalayan Expeditions 

What are your teams’ challenges? An uncertain economy? Negative attitudes? Competition? Lower productivity? 

Vince is the #1 go-to guy for taking a team and teaching them how to sell more, lead better, and produce more. Vince will help you move past obstacles and create the success you, and your team, want and deserve. 

Vince Poscente has practical tools to change how your team handles crisis. Problems. Competition. And change. Without understanding resiliency and the absolute importance it plays on everything and everyone—your team will not have the skills they need to overcome the things that will inevitably stand in their way.  #mindset #setbacks #breakthroughs

There's a universal misunderstanding regarding better results in our personal or professional lives. Ask anyone how to get better results and the answer is pretty consistent. "To change your results, change your actions. For different results, do different actions. For better results, engage in better actions." Seems like great advice... if it was accurate. Dear reader, starting with your actions for better results, only leads to more struggle and frustration. There is a better way.

Then, some well-meaning, self-anointed, TikTok guru comes along and gives the sage advice they saw in a Nike commercial, "Just Do It." 

If you're into 'splitting hairs' (a term from the middle ages as it was thought a hair was too fine to cut in half, ergo, futile) then you might argue that action is better than doing nothing. True. BUT WE'RE NOT DONE YET.

Back to the dynamic of fear, confidence, action, and results. Review this graph to see if you non-hair-splitters agree.

High fear leads to low confidence, which leads to poor performance, which leads to poor results. Or conversely, low confidence leads to high fear, leading to poor performance and poor results. Backing up from simply, "just do it" you can see a dynamic between fear and confidence as the source of better outcomes. 

Let's Take a Closer Look at Fear and Confidence

Fear comes from the unknown.

Confidence comes from experience.

Consider the term, an unknown experience and you have the makings for poor results. Hence, fear and confidence are a precursor to the results you are experiencing. Here's where it gets goofy.

What if you don't have experience with:

• working in a post-pandemic setting
• a new job
• reinventing yourself
• some sort of loss
• a new relationship
• a failed relationship
• a financial setback
• a wackadoodle coworker-boss-subordinate-customer-client-relative-neighbor

Without previous experience with any version of the above list, how can you expect to have confidence? Now, what happens? Your confidence is compromised. What happens when confidence is low. Fear goes up. What happens when fear is high and confidence is low? Your actions and how you perform are diminished. Then results are poor. It seems like a no-win situation. (Cue calvary trumpet.) 

Make it Laughable

There is a solution but the optics have gone from 'goofy' to 'laughable' (double entendre intended)

By introducing "fun" to the equation, you will have a shortcut to flipping the gap between fear and confidence.

Simply making the decision to Have Fun before you engage in something new or different will automatically improve confidence and throw shade on those fears. All of a sudden, your performance is improved (despite your lack of experience and the fact that fun is the opposite end of the universe from fear) and your results are optimized. 

This is where the aforementioned hair-splitters can pipe in. Now just do it again, and again, and again. Always start with the decision to have fun and your brain will override the goofy fear/confidence dynamic.  

A Laugh-Worthy Story About Having Fun

Scan ahead in this video to 4:38 and you'll see a one-minute story about having fun as a way to accelerate better results.

Take care and enjoy the journey. It's all about having fun.