Andrew the Cabbie has a spectacular response to, “How are you?” “This morning I woke up with new grace, new forgiveness and a smile on my face. It doesn’t get better than that.” Now that’s an answer!

You’ve got to admit, the stock answer to the “How are you?” question is getting old.

“Good” or “Great” – Really? The grammar police will say, “What are you great at?.”

They’ll correct you with, “Well.”

Or the less “good/great/well” version - - “Fine.” “FINE,” being the acronym for:

• Fed Up
• Insecure
• Neurotic and
• Emotional.

Climbing out of the mediocrity of a stock response is not just about a change in routine. There are substantial benefits to having a more interesting reply.

1. Memorable Impression – Make your first impression or the next one memorable. Whether you’re in sales, reconnecting with a pal or simply making an acquaintance, deep down you want to have impact and influence. Even if it’s fleeting, the effect and affect you have resonates with the meaning of life. Andrew wanted you to know how grateful he was to be alive. There are unlimited impressionable answers to “How are you?” 

• I’m better than I deserve.
• If I were any better, vitamins would be taking ME.
• Why? What did you hear?
• Much better – according to my psychiatrist.
• I’m doing so well I have to sit on my hands to keep from waving at everyone.
• Totally charged. Don’t get too close though, sometimes sparks shoot out my nipples.

2. Reinforced Mindset – Reinforce a mindset that gives you energy and optimism. Good days or bad, yours truly answers with, “Livin’ the dream.” Your brain needs realignment now and then. “Livin’ the dream,” says you’re grateful and blessed. Give yourself every advantage you can. Reinforce your mindset with a positive, delightful response.

3. Connection Opportunity – Nurturing a connection is a privileged opportunity. Andrew’s answer about how he woke up with a new outlook quickly turned into a conversation. He might have been a random motivational taxi driver in Richmond, Virginia. Not after asking how he was. This service industry All-Star elevates his business one ride at a time. 

Let’s face it, when most people ask, “How are you?” – Do they really care? Do they?

Most don’t.

But, an impressionable, mindset reinforcing, opportunity to connect response pushes the needle on the caring meter to “I’m glad we met.”

Are you in the spotlight, or the spouse who inherited a less conspicuous role? The latter involves an elegant dance of being beside and behind someone, occasionally, at the very same time. Let’s call that grace in circumstance.

Meet Dottie Duke, the wife of Charles Duke, the 10th person to walk on the moon's surface.

The event was a private dinner we attended recently in Dallas. Last year, a chance to meet General Duke never transpired. On the way to this year’s dinner, I mentioned to Michelle a couple of times, “I hope we can meet the astronaut who was there last year.”

As luck, or the power of intention, would have it, Charlie and his wife Dottie sat down right beside us. We spent the evening conversing with a truly fascinating couple.

Towards the end of the evening, we decided to take a picture of the four of us. After a smile and a click, Dottie pulled on my arm and said, “A picture with you and Charlie is a good idea.”

How cool is that? After a half century of supporting her husband -- the guy in Houston's 1969 Mission Control talking to Neil Armstrong as he stepped on the moon, to 1972 when Charlie left his footprints on moon-dust while she cared for their two boys, to standing by him during his ascension to US Air Force brigadier general – she glided aside and gave a stranger a chance for a picture with a hero from the golden age of space travel.

Dottie and Charlie are about to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary.

It’s clear the success of their marriage is due in part to Dottie’s ability to dance with grace in circumstance.

What a nice reminder about the gift your grace can have in any dance of circumstance.

It's lame to encourage someone with, “Follow your dreams.” Either that someone is aware of this tired cliché or they have no idea of what the dream is. Moreover, your motivational advice will likely fall on deaf ears.

Why is that?

Dreams aren’t nearly an effective motivator as regrets are.

Dreams are best guesses. Regrets are clear, poignant and powerful.

Lance Armstrong has all sorts of opinions being flung at him right now. Some believe his only motivation for coming clean is for better sponsorship at professional triathlon competitions. In other circles, he has pundits questioning his decision from a legal standpoint. They’re posting he will invite more legal implications than if he had kept his mouth shut. Yet, people close to Armstrong state he has repeatedly expressed his regret for denials and attacks on his accusers. With his estimated net worth in excess of $100 million, it’s questionable more money or less litigation are his primary concerns.

The sting of regret is a powerful motivator.

Think to a time when you made a very poor decision or hurt someone else. Think of the regret you felt. That feeling may never be erased. Yet, what forward thinking decision did you make? Chances are, you made a course correction and did what you could to never make that mistake again.

Lying to an Australian customs official about being on the Canadian national wrestling team at Brisbane’s Commonwealth Games is a 30 year-old regret. He saw the special visa, asked if I’d competed and I responded, “Yes.” But this fib about being an athlete sat like a lump of garage station sushi in the pit of my stomach. It drove me to never take credit for a story that I didn’t earn… ever again.

Skipping the chance to compete internationally in Luge is another regret from my past. Watching luge buddies marching in the opening ceremonies threw piano sized remorse on my back. The weight of not committing the way these friends did inspired a four-year journey to compete in Olympic Speed Skiing.

I regret not listening to my first fiancé when she wanted to postpone the wedding because she was “Still in love with (her) old boyfriend.” Yet, after that first failed marriage, the lessons about what to do next time down the aisle involved ‘no regrets.’

So, if you’re tired of hearing ‘Follow your dreams’ or have no clue what ‘your dreams’ might be, give yourself a break.

Instead, look ten, thirty, sixty years down the road. What regrets do you never, ever want to feel?

You’ll find a lot more clarity in what to avoid rather than what you think you want.

If you know exactly what you want - lucky you. But don’t just follow your dreams.

Avoid regrets.

Scanning down the list of nineteen I couldn’t see my name. I looked again more carefully. I was not listed. There had to be a mistake. 

I found the head coach in the hallway of the hockey rink. Choked up and shaking in my sub five-foot frame I said, “My name’s Vince Poscente. I looked at the list and wasn’t on it. Do you think I was left off the list?”

The coach, Ken Hitchcock, looked down and said flatly, “There are no mistakes.”

I couldn’t believe it. Earlier that day he had faced the forty young teens and said, “If you work hard and show the desire, you will make this team.” From the age of five my entire hockey career was short on talent but long on hustle. I knew that I had more fire than any of the pubescent players in the arena that day.

I played out that season in a B league but quit immediately after. My disillusionment with the politics and my own mediocrity made skiing far more appealing. In skiing I could just play and do it on my own terms.

Had this not happened I would not have been in the position to take up ski racing eleven years later. Had I not ski raced I would not have competed in the Olympics in Albertville. If this didn’t happen I would not have had the privilege to impact hundreds of thousands of people as a motivational keynote speaker, write four books, reach the New York Times bestselling list, establish some amazing friendships and, a few years back, be inducted into the Canadian Speaking Hall of Fame.

Garth Brooks has a song called Unanswered Prayers. In the lyrics he describes how he and his wife chance upon an old girlfriend of his. “As she walked away I looked at my wife and then and there I thanked the good Lord for the gifts in my life. Some of God’s greatest gifts are unanswered prayers.”

Meanwhile, Ken Hitchcock went on to be one of the NHL’s most successful coaches leading the Dallas Stars to a Stanley Cup in 1999. Two years after that I was backstage with Ken at a function. I introduced myself and said I grew up in Sherwood Park and still play hockey in a men's league.

His eyes lit up and we realized that we didn’t live far from each other. We also figured out that he sold me hockey equipment at a store in Edmonton. Finally I dropped the bomb, “Hey, did you know you cut me from a hockey team in 1975?”

He looked back and said, “Are you over it yet?”

“Oh ya. It was the best thing you could have done,” and I left it at that.

In our fast paced world today it is easy to get passed by opportunity or other people. But rest assured, you will only be limited by the forward speed you choose to employ. Leave setbacks behind and put your foot on the accelerator. You never know what unanswered prayers await you.

At times... there are no mistakes!

On the surface, they have what they need to succeed. Thomas Franchise Solutions has a seasoned board of advisors, a sure-footed leader and committed staff, driven for growth. But, their founder and Chairman, Peter Thomas, wants more. A fresh, unconventional perspective. His brainchild, a Youth Advisory Board.

A Youth Advisory Board is not new to organizational development.

State Farm has a youth advisory board. Thirty 17-20 year olds are assigned to address issues important to State Farm and communities across North America. Their service-learning projects help State Farm with a local presence and goodwill.

Brewerytown in Philadelphia has a community Youth Advisory Council comprising of 14-19 year olds. Yours truly even got in the youth activism game thirty-five years ago. I chaired a Teen Board that complimented the adult efforts of the Strathcona Youth Association’s mission to build a local teen center.

The Alberta Children's Hospital in Calgary has been using advising youth for years. According to avid supporter, Eric Perrault, "The Children's Hospital in Calgary (the big lego block) was based upon designs from our youth advisory. Not only were they consulted in the design phase, all structural and programs had to go through them for changes and approval. This may explain why the facility is one of the best of its kind."

TFS takes the Youth Advisory Board concept outside the somewhat insular corporate playground.

What’s innovative about Thomas’ Youth Advisory Board is their assignment. To submit a SWOT analysis (strengths, weaknesses, opportunities and threats). The youngest member is in middle school. Others are either in high school or college. The youth selected are armed with an entrepreneurial acumen and intellegence oozing with curiosity.

As it turns out, there are many check marks in the win category for TFS and the youth.

Win #1 A Younger Lens for a Bigger Picture - TFS gets to see through a younger lens. TFS's model of investing in franchise companies with a proven track record and profitable model could be strictly numbers driven. But Thomas wanted to augment his investment process with insights of those who the corporate world normally would rather have share of wallet share… not what the young minds have to share. Meanwhile, the youth know they need to look carefully at what they review and translate it for their elder colleagues.

Win #2 Simple Sophistication - The youth dive into the real corporate conversations. By being added to weekly internal communications and other information flow the youngsters gain insight into how bottom line results are driven by organizational decision-making. TFS forces themselves to keep their messaging easy to digest and uncomplicated. The keep-it-simple mantra is self-imposed while paying dividends.

Win #3 Evoking Insights and Outsights – TFS wants to scan for new franchise opportunities while balancing the demands of growing their partner companies. It is incredibly easy in any organization to get caught in the manage-what-we-have cycle at the expense of innovating towards new frontiers. To ignore dealing with change and managing change companies like Radio Shack and Blockbuster have fallen victim to this phenomenon. With the Youth Advisory Board’s consistent input, everyone at TFS pauses to reflect and seek beyond themselves.

Consider eliciting the noggin’ power of a few sharp, still developing, under 25 brains. Go beyond traditional focus groups or surveys. Create a youth advisory board and evoke a bigger picture with simple sophistication. A fresh, unconventional, youthful, motivational perspective may be exactly what you need.

When is the Gig Up?

1. If you’ve lost your expertise or the gig doesn’t light you up, get off the field and coach.
2. If the coach speaks, shut the pie hole and listen. What (s)he knows is invaluable.

Bob Dylan (71) gave one of the worst concerts we’ve ever seen - ever! Paying hundreds of dollars to see a legend had the, “I saw him perform” equity. But his performance was embarrassing. Replace the band with an expert interviewer and people would get a whole lot more out of their investment. (Subtitles needed.)Chuck Berry (86) was happy to still be performing, he repeated songs, was completely confused at one point - yet the crowd loved that he was there and even do a version of the duck walk. Did we put a notch in the, “I saw him perform’ punch card? Yes. Was it professional musicianship? No. Put a spotlight on him and hear about all his shenanigans from 50’s and 60’s or advice from his years of experience – how cool would that be?

Paul McCartney’s (70) concert wasn’t bad, but not worth $250 a ticket. It was obvious Sir Paul “mailed it in.” He seemed unenthused and tired. Yet, give him a stool where he can tell Beatles stories – THAT would be entertaining.

Guys, if you’ve lost your expertise or your gig doesn’t light you up, get off the field and coach.

But, there are no guarantees in coaching.

Brian (60+) sold his chain for millions to a large restaurant conglomerate. They invited him on their board but consistently ignored his input. The younger voices in the boardroom thought they knew better.

Leon (70+) sold his restaurant chain in the midst of a dramatic growth curve. The current owners took the chain off its successful path - until they brought Leon back as a consultant. Revenue has improved.

Egon (60+) has enough money to retire. But he wants to share his wisdom. He is offering consulting – for free - to a lucky company who needs his ‘turn-around to quality’ expertise. His passion is helping people.

Guys, if you have it in you, we want to learn from you. We want to hear your voice and apply what we gain from your perspective. If you have that spark, let’s see it. It lights us up as well.

Of course there are many exceptions…

Wanda Jackson (75) has arthritis and charisma all at once. She captivated her fans with stories about Elvis and her songs that ushered in the age of rock and roll. Her voice strained past her big-as-the-South smile. The intimate crowd loved it.

Peter (74) started Thomas Franchise Solutions within the last couple of years. He is on fire. He’s enthusiastic and a driving force. He belongs in the captain’s chair and provides both the wisdom and the spark to make great things happen. He’s more fit than most 50 year olds. His passion is infectious. He’s in the game, loves the gig and belongs there.

To Bob, Chuck and Paul… thanks for the memories but you're not getting any more concert money from those who expect more.

We either ignore, complain or take action when our politicians make a choice. There is one more option: Stay on their horribly-low-approval-rated-butts and make sure they make choices for the people, not the political party or self-interests. This involves a new order of involvement (easier offered than accomplished - but still doable and ultimately necessary in today’s environment of distrusted politicians).

Before the economy turned south in 2008, yours truly hated looking at the numbers. My motivational speaker filtered eyeballs would glaze over at a P&L statement. With a form of numerical dyslexia… words like “budget” actually spelled “snore.” Tax forms made noises like “blah, blah, blah.” Bank statements resembled leaflets for garage doors or lawn care.

That all changed when we had to get serious about finances. The luxury of sitting on the unaccountable porch swing, sipping the sweet ice tea of ignorance was no longer an option.

In the last four years my order of involvement surrounding numbers and finance changed… for the better. It was as if a new sheriff was in town. I got accountable on accounting.

The same, order of involvement surrounding politician accountability and the elimination of citizen ignorance is waiting for us. Do this and your representative will know there’s a new sheriff in town – that sheriff is you.

Here are 3 Do’s to monitor what your political representative(s) are doing for you:

1. Track your representative on Google Alerts . You will be able to follow what he or she is being reported on. If they are representing your interests, you’ll know pretty quickly. If they are blocking progress, climb all over that low-approval-rated-butt. In the US – here is the link to find who your representatives are .
2. Follow your representative on Social Media. Facebook Pages and Twitter work well. If you see something amiss, write them. Post questions about it. Ask questions without publicly jumping to conclusions. Be forceful in getting right with the answers you hear.
3. Get on two email subscriber lists – the representative’s and the political watchdog of your choice. Again, question without judgment. Keep asking questions to get answers. Make those answers public in your own way.

Here are the 3 Don’ts:

1. Do not follow media outlets with political agendas. You’ll only be hearing a biased point of view. Let’s leave brainwashing up to the North Korean government.
2. Don’t trust pundits who use anecdotal evidence or sound bites as universal fact. If you fall into their narrative you’ll be limiting your own voice.
3. Absolutely do not forward emails that polarize or demean. Keep your eye on the prize: Positive results are the solutions you seek. Choosing to destroy someone’s character only throws gasoline on fires of distrust and fear.

Those in the free world have a freedom of rights but not a freedom from responsibility. Hop off the porch swing. Put down the sweet iced tea. Jump into a new order of involvement and seek true, sustained election results.

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It took 36 hours of mind numbing air and car travel to reach the trailhead. Our destination? One of the most remote places on earth. We would be the first documented Westerners to ever hike up this Himalayan Sikkim reserve. While each trekker faced his or her own imaginary and physical limitations, we ultimately experienced what was required - the right amount of adversity.

Thirteen months prior, a devastating earthquake changed the map in these brittle mountains. Small villages vanished and lives were lost in landslides. As the world’s third tallest peak watched over the juxtaposition of surrounding jagged peaks and its gentle Lepchan inhabitants, we climbed into rarified air of magnificence.

Anthropologists have yet to determine the origins of the Lepchans living in this land surrounded by Nepal, Tibet and Bhutan. Lepchans live off the land and are enormously caring and trusting. They were our guides and porters. The Lepchans we trekked with were nothing short of angels appearing surreally when treacherous footholds gave way.

Nature can be the lazy man’s teacher, yet combined with a people of extraordinary presence; the education was all around us. Together we ascended through leech filled jungles and abandoned monasteries. Following the footsteps of the mythical wizard Padmasambava, we touched the shores the sacred Keshong Lake at over 15,000 feet above sea level.

On the most physically challenging part of the trek we climbed 50-degree switchbacks, ascending over 3,000 feet from dense forest to frigid environs above the tree line. At one point, I looked back to Jeff Salz who said, as sweat framed a sparkle in his eyes, “This is the right amount of adversity.”

In some cases, adversity is flat-out entertaining.

On a moonless night, with headlamps piercing the basecamp darkness, three of us brushed chattering teeth. The chill vanished in a heartbeat when we saw a fellow trekker struggle to stay upright in the aptly named ‘poop tent.’ With a flimsy nylon structure, only large enough to house a chair with a hole in it, our climbing buddy started to imitate a scene out of Alien. His headlamp flirted with undulating shadows of elbows, knees and feet flailing to prevent the tent from falling over. Note: Witnessing this kind of adversity makes toothpaste blow out your nose.

Each of us faces adversity.

Some adversity can torture you with sleepless nights. Some is so great your knees may buckle.

But know this: Adversity is the wellspring of wisdom. It’s the foundation of character. Without adversity, your inner power atrophies and your moral compass can lose true north.

It took a great deal of time and effort to put ourselves in a place of hostile temperatures, uncertain terrain and thin air, but we did it. We climbed, not because it was there (or reaching a bucket-list goal for a motivational keynote speaker), but to fill our lungs and soul with the restorative impact adversity can have.

During the struggle it was difficult. Looking back is was an adventure of a lifetime.

Is it time again for you to climb past hardship?

You’ll find the adversity is just the right amount.

It would be insulting to your hosts if they found out you had said, “Hello, from the middle of nowhere!” At the moment of the release of this eBrief we (a group of adventurers) are trekking through the remotest parts of the Indian Himalayas, and our hosts are a few snow leopards and mountain goats. They wouldn’t be offended by the affiliation with ‘nowhere’... Yet, in this case, ‘now here’ is a state of mind worth considering.

In 2006, Jeff Salz led a group of Westerners up a sacred valley within the newly minted Great Himalayan Nation Park. The quest we sought was to summit the yet unclimbed Chakri Peak. Three years later, Jeff handed off the expedition lead to me for a summit attempt of an unnamed mountain. Due to unstable snow, our summit attempt was halted, but we went on to explore fascinating communities near Tibet.

Now, we’re back to another region of the Indian Himalayas for a different adventure; the Sikkim Valley and the Lepchan people. The snows have come early. Temperatures will drop well below freezing. After five days of steep, wet climbing we will spend a couple of days staying with the people of this isolated culture in India near the Tibetan/Nepalese borders.

Let’s explore the concept of “now here.”

One, a trip like this is a chance to reboot. It’s not much different from switching a computer off, then on, to allow the hardware to reconfigure and function better. Getting off the grid – checking out of society – being immersed in an unencumbered break is healthy for the mind and body.

Two, climbing forces you into the moment. When each step counts in the category of safe or life threatening, it forces you to pay close attention to the moment. We will be in the far reaches of mountainous elevations. There is no technology - only a good foothold. Being in the moment for extended periods of time can erase the worries of past and future.

Three, adventure is the jalapeno in your chili. The security of monotony can addictive. By visiting a small society isolated from the trappings of the age of speed is a way to force variety into life. It was not easy to get to India given responsibilities at home, work and the sheer distance travelled. Yet, at the time of writing this, I can promise you, “We’re not in Kansas anymore Toto.” Break your routine. Break it often.

By being here – now you release the obvious drag the past or the future can have on your psyche. Yet, being present, when forced on you by your environment, can be a true catharsis. Take daily breaks of meditation to allow your brain to reboot, your thoughts to transcend time and your perspective to be energized. Take longer breaks like holidays or time-off to do the same for lasting influence on your brain, thoughts and perspective on life.

Escape Fire is a term and a documentary. Both are worth knowing about, and just might be the motivational incentive you need.

The term, “escape fire” is an intentional fire ignited by a fire crew, usually in a forest or grassland, to escape a dangerous situation. If a forest-fire crew realizes they might die in an oncoming fire, they can survive by burning out an immediate area, so the original fire can burn past them.

Then, there’s the Escape Fire documentary.

There are wonderful people IN the healthcare system. Despite that:

• 30% of healthcare costs in the U.S. do not actually improve health.
• 75% of American healthcare costs are spent on preventable diseases.
• $1.1 billion was spent lobbying Washington on healthcare between 2009 and 2010.
• Soldiers’ use of prescription drugs has tripled in the last 5 years.
• The more a drug is marketed to physicians, the more likely it is to be prescribed in America.
• The US is 1 of only 2 countries that allow pharma companies to advertise straight to consumers.
• 40% of hospitals have fast food restaurants on their premises.

ESCAPE FIRE: The Fight to Rescue American Healthcare tackles one of the most pressing issues in the U.S.: What can be done to save this country’s broken medical system? This summer, I saw this award-winning documentary at the Dallas Film Festival. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it.

The film followed compelling human stories, as well as leaders fighting to transform healthcare at the highest levels of medicine, industry, government, and even the U.S. military. What was striking about the film was its ability to skip past the political healthcare debate and go directly to solutions. "ESCAPE FIRE is about a way out. It’s about saving the health of a nation."

One message in Escape Fire was change the incentive and you change the results. In American healthcare, the incentives center on treating disease – treat more disease and make more money. Corporations will always go where the money is.

Beyond compensation, where does your organization focus its incentives?

We know that regular breaks are good for the mind. But are there incentives to take a break? We know fresh food is part of a balanced meal. But is fresh food a compelling option at the workplace? We know regular exercise is important. But are there fitness incentives provided where you work?

Creating an escape fire initiative at work is a dramatic, yet effective way to thrive in a system designed to keep things just the way they are. Institute “Break Bucks” for people to actively ‘sharpen the saw’ with regular breaks. Keep a bowl of fresh fruit and veggies in the break room. Secretly put an apple on your colleague’s desk. Start an exercise team. Set fitness goals together. Keep each other accountable.

One way or another, an escape fire might be the incentive you need.

Vince

PS ESCAPE FIRE: The Fight to Rescue American Healthcare will be released on October 5th in select theaters, on iTunes, and via Video on Demand. ESCAPE FIRE premiered at the 2012 Sundance Film Festival and has gone on to win numerous film festival awards nationwide.