Prince was sitting off to our right. Max was waiting his turn to perform. The place was pulsing. Then up pops an Asian fella with a gold tooth, the right half his hair dyed platinum, an Alaskan Husky light blue eye on the same side and whack of so-so talent. But, all this was overshadowed by his infectious enthusiasm. He took the room’s energy to a whole new level. He said something to his appreciative audience that still sticks with us months later.

Simon made it clear he wanted to be a singer and performer his entire life. His thick accent was irrelevant when he performed a Michael Jackson song, Human Nature. He drew the packed room into the groove. Holding the microphone out to the audience, everyone participated.

“Why, Why? Tell her that it’s human nature. Why, Why?”

As the professional musicians played their roll of a live band version of Karaoke, other musicians dropped in and played too. It was Black Velvet Monday, full of uber talented, musical drop-ins. The location? New York's famous Village Underground, frequented by Prince and other of the musician elite. Later that evening, Tweet sang a couple of songs. (We’d never heard of her either – but the entire rest of the club had.)

To support Max, his sisters, mother and dad got there early. Turned out we were the only Caucasians in the place. It was a slice of an African American Speakeasy from the 20’s. Quite the scene!

Before he finished his song, Simon improvised a little motivational talk. He said he came to this country knowing this was the land of opportunity. Then he gathered more momentum and encouraged everyone to “Follow your dreams.” For him to sing in the USA was his life-long aspiration. Then the coup de grace… he declared with unbridled enthusiasm,

“Remember this. If you do nahteene… nahteene will happen. If you do somteene, somteene will happen. So everyone… DO SOMTEENE!”

The entire place erupted in in a spine-buzzing ovation. It was a magical moment.

It was also poetic significance for the 16 year-old white boy from Dallas who was about to go on stage – completely out of his typical element.

When Max got up he dismissed the band. Instead of doing covers of other famous works, he sang his own original. In place of an energy boosting tune, he sang a ballad on his acoustic guitar. The looks between his mother and I didn’t need spoken words, “I’m sure glad I’m not going on stage.”

But he did. He performed well and the audience showed their appreciation.

Was it the right venue to have a lyrical ballad. Maybe not. But, in the sentiments of Simon:

There’s this guy who left his wife and kids… a relative who still can’t find a job… a person you know who sued close friends… a celebrity who said something inappropriate… a politician who’s in the middle of a scandal. What seems to be common about all these stories? Our instant human reflex to judge and be right.

How dare he leave his family? What a deadbeat if she can’t find a job? What kind of low life would sue my friend? That celebrity is should be ashamed. That politician is morally corrupt. We instinctively feel we have a right to judge. But when you judge you put yourself on thin ice.

Use the advice of Ralph Waldo Emerson. “In skating over thin ice, our safety is in our speed.” Quickly skate past the areas of judgment, hurt, pain, feeling of revenge or “being right.” There are no winners when you feel you have the right to judge.

In 2008, in Israel, I met an Israeli mother, whose daughter died because of a Palestinian suicide bomber. On stage, she was holding hands with a Palestinian who’d been imprisoned by Israelis for untold crimes. They looked into each other’s eyes, in the spirit of forgiveness. They let go of being “right” and replaced it with peace.

I also met Ali, a Palestinian who watched his mother killed and later his brother shot in the back -- alongside an Israeli mother whose son was killed by a sniper. They both emphasized a simple message:

If you chose a side, you are part of the problem.

They let go of judgment and replaced their “rightness” with seeking a solution. If they can do this under extraordinary circumstances, you can too.

Pain is relative. Connect with the pain of a kindred soul and the pain is not isolated. Experience the power of forgiveness and forgiveness becomes mutual.

The potential of peace is not a distant notion. It is entirely possible in the Age of Speed. Let go of judgment, quickly make a connection, add in forgiveness and peace is an embrace away.

Whether it’s the Middle East or closer to home it takes courage to let go of judgment, connect and then forgive. Or you can continue to hold on to ‘being right’ – no matter the cost.

You have the mettle to accelerate peace of mind and peace itself: 

1. Resist the instinct to judge. Face it, you don’t know the whole story. (Esepecially those armed with a couple of pieces of information and a propensity to jump to conclusions.) 
2. a) Connect with that person if they affected you directly -- Listen, don’t speak. 
   b) Disconnect from people who are only observers, yet are determined to judge and ‘be right.’
3. Forgive that person. You have not been where they have traveled. Being right is less important than peace.

There’s thin ice out there. Keep skating past those patches of judgment.

If you’re in the balance, considering commitment, STOP reading now. You’re not there yet. For the rest of you, let me lovingly grab your eyebrows – get so close you don’t know which eye to focus on... and say – “You are NOT committed yet. Not even close!”

"But... but…I walked down the aisle." - "I spent $10,000 on a marketing campaign." - "I said, Yes to the promotion." -  "I quit my job, got a business loan and ordered those shiny new cards."

Go ahead, argue, “I’m in the game. I am committed!” Don’t be delusional. You’re not remotely committed and won’t truly see this until you next-level yourself out of blissful ignorance.

You are not committed yet! No wedding band, comma on a check, my-word-is-my-bond or entrepreneurial leap into shark infested waters is real commitment. You won’t know the level of commitment necessary until you put yourself at a higher level.

Case in point. 1988. You quit your job. Become a Realtor. Move into a pathetic basement suite. Travel on a shoestring budget to ski races across Canada and the US. One would say, you are committed. You even win the National Championships. The person you see in the mirror is on track. Then you go to a “B” level international race in Sweden.

There, your thosearen’tpillows body-part is handed to you. In a field of aspiring international speed skiers, you place midfield. 55th. At this stage, there isn’t a chance in the Casa di Diablo you’ll ever make the Olympic team. You realize your commitment level needs to be raised. When you step it up; you eventually become ranked 10th in the world, break the national record five times and look upon 50,000 people waiting to see you race the gold medal round of the Olympic Winter Games.

You won’t be able to see the level of commitment necessary until your commitment is tested at a higher level. Examples include:

• Preeminent Trade shows.
• National association conventions.
• Personal coaching/counseling from the best, no BS, been-there-done-that professional you can find.
• Elite competitions where your aforementioned body part is on the line.
• Pretty much anything where you risk embarrassment or a contented ego.

Your first foray into that ‘Higher Level’ will not be comfortable. It will likely be categorically painful. But you deserve a new vista.

Gain a perspective of or from the outside, and you will gain clarity. The higher you go, the more insight you gain. Clarity makes your next steps more deliberate, definitive and profound.

Commitment clarity will be the greatest gift you can give your company, business or marriage. Ignorance may be bliss but you deserve more.

Step up to the next level!

They start with one question, “How will we stand out?” That query bagged close to five minutes on national TV, 200+ franchise leads, a 20x spike in their web traffic and ongoing residual PR. If you’re interested in growing your business fast, the CEO of WOW 1 Day Painting, Brian Scudamore, has a great approach.

No stranger to building franchises, Scudamore’s relatively new venture, WOW 1 Day Painting followed his philosophy of don’t-pay-for-advertising-if-you-don’t-have-to. With the help of his internal PR team, Scudamore followed their first question by five others.

Who’s our market? What media reaches that market? What specific programs do they have? How do we get them to profile us? How do we scale the PR for residual traffic?

According to PR director AK Virani, the amount of research you do is directly proportionate to the quality of PR you get out. With this approach Brian Scudamore's team went to work with the following formula:

1. Define your Audience. In WOW 1 Day Painting’s case, they wanted to hit potential franchisees.
2. Research a Media Match. After significant groundwork, the team decided CNBC targeted their specific market of business people.
3. Research Specific Avenues. More diligent research revealed a program called Power Pitch. A mini-version of the entrepreneurial hit, Shark Tank.
4. Be Creative to Get Their Attention. After downloading the forms and finding out the Producer’s name, they assumed 1,000 other businesses were hitting on Power Pitch as well. According to Virani, “If you find that right person who you really believe will cover your story, then do what ever you can to get their attention.” They sent the producer a “1 day painting goody box.” It has brushes, coffee mugs, t-shirts and painting trays. The producer loved it, called back the next day and asked, “When can we get you on a plane?” The creativity didn’t stop there. Scudamore first produced a short promo video for the program to use and then flew to CNBC’s headquarters in New Jersey (armed with sound bites and a well honed pitch). You guessed it. More research was necessary.
5. Scale Your PR Coup to Your Network. The research mantra extended beyond the one-time airplay. Scudamore’s team then targeted what they called, “residual traffic.” They reached out through social media, business contacts on LinkedIn, focused YouTube channels and their own company blog. Yahoo.com and NY Times online both picked up the story and posted through their small business blogs.

The reason you’re reading this story is a LinkedIn message we received directly from Brian Scudamore. It was intriguing. The CNBC video was compelling. And now 25,000 of you are reading about it.

How will you stand out?

You may create priceless PR from that one simple question.

You have a gift. Your job is to share it.

Your gift was born the day you took your first breath.

Others may recognize it in you, before you begin to honor it.

Yet, you know when your gift tapped your shoulder.

It nudged you into the light. You saw further. You felt free.

You have a gift. Your job is to share it.

The day she was born you naturally started looking for it.

When his smile touched your soul, his gift smiled too.

Help find the place where her gift can stretch out.

Be a wall and his gift will wither in the shade. Celebrate it instead.

You have a gift. Your job is to share it.

In the world of gifts, the word “should” has no place.

The most venomous word to your gift is “can’t.”

Your gift never goes away. It may collect cobwebs.

It may calcify or rust. But it never dies. Ever.

You have a gift. Your job is to share it.

Your gift never arrives. It’s forever setting out, seeking, blooming, curious, magnetic.

When it can’t breathe, it waits. When it can’t see, it calls out.

If you knew how long you had left to live, your gift would greet you every morning.

When you forget you’re mortal, your gift hides under the covers with you.

You have a gift. Your job is to share it.

You can see the cracks in their hull. You hear the groan under the weight of their success. You can even imagine Steve Jobs punching out a flippant millennial for shrugging his blue T-shirted shoulders. The lesson here? If your brand promise is excellence and you deliver on that brilliance then you can never fall short or your customer may tell others – a lot of others... (cue Jaws soundtrack).

Apple has a leak, yet the warning bells sound more like a Junior High percussionist giving a delicate “ting” to his triangle. They aren’t sinking but a crack can turn into a big titanic hole pretty quickly.

Leading up to their dazzling product roll outs, Apple made the bold move to have Apple Stores around the world. They reached out to their customers with the “Try it. You’ll like it,” puppy-dog close. They made an even bolder statement and branded each on-site tech support person as a “Genius.” Apple promises you a genius. You walk in their store with a problem. You expect a genius. In the past you got an Apple Genius. Last Monday, you walked out telling everyone you know “Some Genius just left me dumbfounded and angry.”

If you and your company provide a gold standard product or service – you have set the minimum expectation in your customers’ mind to deliver excellence.

If you have an iPhone 5, you may be experiencing an infuriating problem. Your smart phone has turned into a stupid phone. It drains battery power in less than four hours with or without usage.

Two trips to the Apple Store, a Genius finally replaces the phone (expensive insurance may have paid off). But, the same battery drain problem exists. You spend hours on the phone, money out of your pocket to pay for certified Apple specialist advice. You spend your limited time and expensive gas on another trip to explain the problem with no solution. ‘Some Genius’ in a blue T says he doesn’t know what to tell you, followed by a shrug of his shoulders.

“So the solution is -- I get to stay frustrated?”

Shrug number two.

You walk out of the Apple Store. Every other positive experience you've had at the Apple Store has been erased with just a couple of shrugs. Your seething disappointment is eventually replaced by the hope the restaurant you’re headed to has a spare outlet near your table. At lunch, you hope you can charge your iPhone as it limps along on less than 5% battery power.

If you set a high expectation in your customer’s mind,

then you may have set your minimum standard of delivery -

which might be out of reach.

Yes – exceed your customer’s expectations when you can. They will think you're a genius. Then be keenly aware of meeting your customer’s elevated expectations from then on.

If not, your customer will be telling 25,000 people “Some Genius really blew it last Monday.”

(PS. I love Apple Inc. and my story may be anecdotal. My intention of writing this story is for you to carefully watch your own business and it's dedication to excellence.) 

The signs tell you to avoid it. The posters warn waiting passengers not to become “a statistic.” The big yellow line and the massive piece of screeching metal coming at you at 40 miles-per-hour is a pretty obvious clue. Still, it’s irresistible to want to peek over the edge.

We had some young friends stay with us on a recent New York trip. On the subway platform, the older folks were inclined to stay back, the younger ones wanted to peek over the edge. This catalyzed a thought worth exploring.

Think back to when you were young. The chances you took were not intended to be anything more than satisfying your inquisitive nature. Isn’t that what inspires a rebel – good-ol' curiosity?

“What would it be like?” you thought. Then you did it. The opportunity to experience something new out weighed any threat of consequence.

Those of us with all sorts of self-imposed responsibility, we play it safe. The possible consequences – no matter what level of imagination it takes to conjure up – supersede the magnetic draw of curiosity.

How strong is your curiosity muscle?

Does it look like an anemic chicken wing or is it ripped like an infomercial pitchman holding a dumbbell and your attention?

Risk is a seductive siren. "Just come a little closer. Take a look." The consequences are somewhere between enormous and fictitious.

It helps to have a guide to take you to safe passage. Whether it's a motivational keynote speaker, self-help book or a hand extended in your direction - mitigating the risk with someone who has edge-peeked in the past will surely help.

You know what risk you can feel comfortable but don’t let that stop you from peeking over the edge the next time you get a chance.

The life you want depends on it.

What it is about those who live by the, “People are entitled to my opinion, whether they want it or not” motto? Unsolicited Advisers might work for some people, but they drive yours truly absolutely bonkers. There’s a technique you can use to avoid Unsolicited Advisers driving anyone cukoo. It’s called Gestalt Feedback.

There is a peer-to-peer entrepreneurs' forum we call Veritas. Veritas is the Latin word for truth. We’ve been meeting monthly for over eleven years. The health of our forum relies almost completely on a method of interaction called Gestalt Feedback. This type of feedback is not advisory, but in the form of communication based on personal experience.

For example, one of our ten members could bring up a topic on strengthening client relationships when loyalty seems to be fickle. There’s a protocol designee ready with red and yellow ‘gestalt infraction’ cards. If someone says, “You should institute an incentive program,” they get a red card for flat out ‘advice.’ If that person said, “There are people in situations like yours who put an incentive program in place,” then a yellow card is raised. But, if the person were to follow the gestalt feedback formula, they would say, “We had a disintegrating loyalty issue with the ABC Brick Company so we started an incentive program where the more business we got, the more service credits they received. It increased our retention by 22%.”

You instantly notice the life-sucking effect of Unsolicited Advisors when they start telling you what you should do with your life. Motivational? NOT!

It’s a slow bleed when you hear thinly veiled advice disguised as feedback. Motivating? Not so much!

You can instantly feel the power of gestalt feedback when someone has heard what you said and provides their experience. Chances are you'll hear from them a solution that worked.

The next time you meet at work or in a mastermind setting, explain what gestalt feedback is. Then ask for agreement on this personal experience over advice mode of exchanging information between members.

Like riding a bike for the first time, it may take a few rotations to get the hang of it.

Once it starts to click, you won’t miss unsolicited advice nor that feeling of going bonkers in an absolute way.

On the path, he watched his young friends either be eaten by a lion, attacked by a hyenas or trampled by a heard of wildebeest. A Sudanese boy, orphaned by war, ultimately finds himself ‘rescued’ in America. Now he’s a bag boy in a San Diego supermarket with a profound sense of clarity in our confusing world. Alepho Deng knows a great deal about the path one can find one’s self on.

“I grew up happy, living with my family in a village. Sure, I knew there was danger of wild animals but there was a different kind of danger. The mankind danger. Man going to war,” says Alepho whose family was murdered by the Janjaweed.

Our conversation about living in the USA went as you’d expect – he found a number of challenges adapting to the American culture. Learning English, acquiring new skills and even the typical daily routines of getting up, going to work and closing the day with some family or friend time. He said something we know, but forget. “A lot of people don’t appreciate the grocery store so close. You can’t go hungry – there are food banks. Water is readily available. You can’t walk the street in Sudan and find water or food. American’s have the basic things but don’t seem appreciate them.” Then the conversation took an unexpected turn.

I asked Alepho what he takes for granted. He said, “Education.”

He described present day as his “third page” in his life. First page, his poetic family life in an African village. The second page, the horrors of being one of the orphaned boys of Sudan, escaping the Janjaweed’s ethnic cleansing. This, the third page in the US is his present day path. A path of more self-discovery.

Alepho became aware of the magic of education at an early age. In his words:

“One day a silver shape appears high in the blue sky and my father tells me : “There is another land and the people who live there are white. They like to live in the air, and that is the big American bird that carries them. The big bird is flown mostly by American girls. There is a huge body of water where birds fly until they get exhausted and fall. But this bird can cross it. They control it with magic power that is called education.”

I imagine these Americans with their magic power and I think…. I would like to cross the water and go there some day.”

With education he describes a higher route of an “open mind and heart to better connect with human beings. In school you grow as a person. You can make a career out of it. Yes, you can pay rent and pay for shoes and clothing. Better yet, it opens your heart and mind.”

(To experience Alepho's story alongside an a master story teller... read below.)

How will you embrace the magic of education? What is the next page of your life? Where are you on your path?

Until next week, it's full speed ahead, 

In 2011 Alepho Deng came to Thanksgiving dinner at our home in Encinitas. He walked straight into our hearts and has never left.

A significant portion of the proceeds will go to support the Sudanese Community Center and the International Rescue Committee

Please mark your calendar and join us on Friday night July 19th... for a unique multimedia, lecture/theater event that utilizes the symbiosis of storytelling, music (live and recorded), still photography, animation and video to evoke emotion, stir the intellect and move attendees to positive action.

See you there!

Dr. Jeff Salz

PS: This event is one performance event only. To guarantee yourself a seat (and save money!) you can purchase your tickets online now at: Across Worlds Tickets

Have you noticed how emails increasingly seem like automated, robotic telephone messages? We don’t normally read them carefully. Our busy day forces us to scan, pass-by multiple questions buried in the middle and, often, miss stuff at the end. Like being interrupted with a recorded message, we hang up early and dismiss that annoying feeling.

It’s time to elevate your communication game. Imagize your emails.

The concept is simple. Copy an eye-grabbing picture and paste it in context with your email.

For example, if you wanted to drive referrals for a service or product your represent, you might send an email like this.

Mark,

You might not be forwarding our 70 Second eBrief to your inner circle, we didn’t want to take it personally. We trust you’ll put a smiles on their faces. Forward this eBrief to a few of your friends so they can put smiles on their faces.

Best wishes,
Vince

Adding humor has the most traction. Use Google or Bing Images to search for non-copyright photos. Here’s another example in a situation where you are updating someone on the status of a project.

Denise,

Our web design is taking shape. Thanks for your loyal support in the past. We would love your input on the layout. What do you think, confusing, clear or is there a better way? Your direction on this will help us a great deal. Thanks in advance!

Click this link for a sneak peek at the initial stages of our new design. "Reply" if you have any ideas.

Take care,
Vince

Want to take your imagizing to the next level? Send a quick video from your smart phone. Embed a short message into the email to really show you care. For example, at a recent engagement, one of the key organizers was unable to attend. I took a quick video from the venue to wish her well and that she was missed. It took a few seconds but made difference in her world. To protect her privacy, here is a fun, 30 second example instead (uploaded to YouTube so you could see it easily).

Barbara,

We missed you at the Sales KickOff meeting in San Diego. Your team were gracious hosts. The attendee’s had a blast! All the planning you did paid off - big time. BUT… it really wasn’t the same without you.

Get well soon Barbara.

Warm wishes,

Vince

If you don’t know how to copy and paste pictures or videos into an email, it’s time to learn. You can either differentiate or wallow in the mediocrity of boring, uninteresting messages. Imagize your emails to show how much you care.