You have a gift. Your job is to share it.

Your gift was born the day you took your first breath.

Others may recognize it in you, before you begin to honor it.

Yet, you know when your gift tapped your shoulder.

It nudged you into the light. You saw further. You felt free.

You have a gift. Your job is to share it.

The day she was born you naturally started looking for it.

When his smile touched your soul, his gift smiled too.

Help find the place where her gift can stretch out.

Be a wall and his gift will wither in the shade. Celebrate it instead.

You have a gift. Your job is to share it.

In the world of gifts, the word “should” has no place.

The most venomous word to your gift is “can’t.”

Your gift never goes away. It may collect cobwebs.

It may calcify or rust. But it never dies. Ever.

You have a gift. Your job is to share it.

Your gift never arrives. It’s forever setting out, seeking, blooming, curious, magnetic.

When it can’t breathe, it waits. When it can’t see, it calls out.

If you knew how long you had left to live, your gift would greet you every morning.

When you forget you’re mortal, your gift hides under the covers with you.

You have a gift. Your job is to share it.

You can see the cracks in their hull. You hear the groan under the weight of their success. You can even imagine Steve Jobs punching out a flippant millennial for shrugging his blue T-shirted shoulders. The lesson here? If your brand promise is excellence and you deliver on that brilliance then you can never fall short or your customer may tell others – a lot of others... (cue Jaws soundtrack).

Apple has a leak, yet the warning bells sound more like a Junior High percussionist giving a delicate “ting” to his triangle. They aren’t sinking but a crack can turn into a big titanic hole pretty quickly.

Leading up to their dazzling product roll outs, Apple made the bold move to have Apple Stores around the world. They reached out to their customers with the “Try it. You’ll like it,” puppy-dog close. They made an even bolder statement and branded each on-site tech support person as a “Genius.” Apple promises you a genius. You walk in their store with a problem. You expect a genius. In the past you got an Apple Genius. Last Monday, you walked out telling everyone you know “Some Genius just left me dumbfounded and angry.”

If you and your company provide a gold standard product or service – you have set the minimum expectation in your customers’ mind to deliver excellence.

If you have an iPhone 5, you may be experiencing an infuriating problem. Your smart phone has turned into a stupid phone. It drains battery power in less than four hours with or without usage.

Two trips to the Apple Store, a Genius finally replaces the phone (expensive insurance may have paid off). But, the same battery drain problem exists. You spend hours on the phone, money out of your pocket to pay for certified Apple specialist advice. You spend your limited time and expensive gas on another trip to explain the problem with no solution. ‘Some Genius’ in a blue T says he doesn’t know what to tell you, followed by a shrug of his shoulders.

“So the solution is -- I get to stay frustrated?”

Shrug number two.

You walk out of the Apple Store. Every other positive experience you've had at the Apple Store has been erased with just a couple of shrugs. Your seething disappointment is eventually replaced by the hope the restaurant you’re headed to has a spare outlet near your table. At lunch, you hope you can charge your iPhone as it limps along on less than 5% battery power.

If you set a high expectation in your customer’s mind,

then you may have set your minimum standard of delivery -

which might be out of reach.

Yes – exceed your customer’s expectations when you can. They will think you're a genius. Then be keenly aware of meeting your customer’s elevated expectations from then on.

If not, your customer will be telling 25,000 people “Some Genius really blew it last Monday.”

(PS. I love Apple Inc. and my story may be anecdotal. My intention of writing this story is for you to carefully watch your own business and it's dedication to excellence.) 

The signs tell you to avoid it. The posters warn waiting passengers not to become “a statistic.” The big yellow line and the massive piece of screeching metal coming at you at 40 miles-per-hour is a pretty obvious clue. Still, it’s irresistible to want to peek over the edge.

We had some young friends stay with us on a recent New York trip. On the subway platform, the older folks were inclined to stay back, the younger ones wanted to peek over the edge. This catalyzed a thought worth exploring.

Think back to when you were young. The chances you took were not intended to be anything more than satisfying your inquisitive nature. Isn’t that what inspires a rebel – good-ol' curiosity?

“What would it be like?” you thought. Then you did it. The opportunity to experience something new out weighed any threat of consequence.

Those of us with all sorts of self-imposed responsibility, we play it safe. The possible consequences – no matter what level of imagination it takes to conjure up – supersede the magnetic draw of curiosity.

How strong is your curiosity muscle?

Does it look like an anemic chicken wing or is it ripped like an infomercial pitchman holding a dumbbell and your attention?

Risk is a seductive siren. "Just come a little closer. Take a look." The consequences are somewhere between enormous and fictitious.

It helps to have a guide to take you to safe passage. Whether it's a motivational keynote speaker, self-help book or a hand extended in your direction - mitigating the risk with someone who has edge-peeked in the past will surely help.

You know what risk you can feel comfortable but don’t let that stop you from peeking over the edge the next time you get a chance.

The life you want depends on it.

What it is about those who live by the, “People are entitled to my opinion, whether they want it or not” motto? Unsolicited Advisers might work for some people, but they drive yours truly absolutely bonkers. There’s a technique you can use to avoid Unsolicited Advisers driving anyone cukoo. It’s called Gestalt Feedback.

There is a peer-to-peer entrepreneurs' forum we call Veritas. Veritas is the Latin word for truth. We’ve been meeting monthly for over eleven years. The health of our forum relies almost completely on a method of interaction called Gestalt Feedback. This type of feedback is not advisory, but in the form of communication based on personal experience.

For example, one of our ten members could bring up a topic on strengthening client relationships when loyalty seems to be fickle. There’s a protocol designee ready with red and yellow ‘gestalt infraction’ cards. If someone says, “You should institute an incentive program,” they get a red card for flat out ‘advice.’ If that person said, “There are people in situations like yours who put an incentive program in place,” then a yellow card is raised. But, if the person were to follow the gestalt feedback formula, they would say, “We had a disintegrating loyalty issue with the ABC Brick Company so we started an incentive program where the more business we got, the more service credits they received. It increased our retention by 22%.”

You instantly notice the life-sucking effect of Unsolicited Advisors when they start telling you what you should do with your life. Motivational? NOT!

It’s a slow bleed when you hear thinly veiled advice disguised as feedback. Motivating? Not so much!

You can instantly feel the power of gestalt feedback when someone has heard what you said and provides their experience. Chances are you'll hear from them a solution that worked.

The next time you meet at work or in a mastermind setting, explain what gestalt feedback is. Then ask for agreement on this personal experience over advice mode of exchanging information between members.

Like riding a bike for the first time, it may take a few rotations to get the hang of it.

Once it starts to click, you won’t miss unsolicited advice nor that feeling of going bonkers in an absolute way.

On the path, he watched his young friends either be eaten by a lion, attacked by a hyenas or trampled by a heard of wildebeest. A Sudanese boy, orphaned by war, ultimately finds himself ‘rescued’ in America. Now he’s a bag boy in a San Diego supermarket with a profound sense of clarity in our confusing world. Alepho Deng knows a great deal about the path one can find one’s self on.

“I grew up happy, living with my family in a village. Sure, I knew there was danger of wild animals but there was a different kind of danger. The mankind danger. Man going to war,” says Alepho whose family was murdered by the Janjaweed.

Our conversation about living in the USA went as you’d expect – he found a number of challenges adapting to the American culture. Learning English, acquiring new skills and even the typical daily routines of getting up, going to work and closing the day with some family or friend time. He said something we know, but forget. “A lot of people don’t appreciate the grocery store so close. You can’t go hungry – there are food banks. Water is readily available. You can’t walk the street in Sudan and find water or food. American’s have the basic things but don’t seem appreciate them.” Then the conversation took an unexpected turn.

I asked Alepho what he takes for granted. He said, “Education.”

He described present day as his “third page” in his life. First page, his poetic family life in an African village. The second page, the horrors of being one of the orphaned boys of Sudan, escaping the Janjaweed’s ethnic cleansing. This, the third page in the US is his present day path. A path of more self-discovery.

Alepho became aware of the magic of education at an early age. In his words:

“One day a silver shape appears high in the blue sky and my father tells me : “There is another land and the people who live there are white. They like to live in the air, and that is the big American bird that carries them. The big bird is flown mostly by American girls. There is a huge body of water where birds fly until they get exhausted and fall. But this bird can cross it. They control it with magic power that is called education.”

I imagine these Americans with their magic power and I think…. I would like to cross the water and go there some day.”

With education he describes a higher route of an “open mind and heart to better connect with human beings. In school you grow as a person. You can make a career out of it. Yes, you can pay rent and pay for shoes and clothing. Better yet, it opens your heart and mind.”

(To experience Alepho's story alongside an a master story teller... read below.)

How will you embrace the magic of education? What is the next page of your life? Where are you on your path?

Until next week, it's full speed ahead, 

In 2011 Alepho Deng came to Thanksgiving dinner at our home in Encinitas. He walked straight into our hearts and has never left.

A significant portion of the proceeds will go to support the Sudanese Community Center and the International Rescue Committee

Please mark your calendar and join us on Friday night July 19th... for a unique multimedia, lecture/theater event that utilizes the symbiosis of storytelling, music (live and recorded), still photography, animation and video to evoke emotion, stir the intellect and move attendees to positive action.

See you there!

Dr. Jeff Salz

PS: This event is one performance event only. To guarantee yourself a seat (and save money!) you can purchase your tickets online now at: Across Worlds Tickets

Have you noticed how emails increasingly seem like automated, robotic telephone messages? We don’t normally read them carefully. Our busy day forces us to scan, pass-by multiple questions buried in the middle and, often, miss stuff at the end. Like being interrupted with a recorded message, we hang up early and dismiss that annoying feeling.

It’s time to elevate your communication game. Imagize your emails.

The concept is simple. Copy an eye-grabbing picture and paste it in context with your email.

For example, if you wanted to drive referrals for a service or product your represent, you might send an email like this.

Mark,

You might not be forwarding our 70 Second eBrief to your inner circle, we didn’t want to take it personally. We trust you’ll put a smiles on their faces. Forward this eBrief to a few of your friends so they can put smiles on their faces.

Best wishes,
Vince

Adding humor has the most traction. Use Google or Bing Images to search for non-copyright photos. Here’s another example in a situation where you are updating someone on the status of a project.

Denise,

Our web design is taking shape. Thanks for your loyal support in the past. We would love your input on the layout. What do you think, confusing, clear or is there a better way? Your direction on this will help us a great deal. Thanks in advance!

Click this link for a sneak peek at the initial stages of our new design. "Reply" if you have any ideas.

Take care,
Vince

Want to take your imagizing to the next level? Send a quick video from your smart phone. Embed a short message into the email to really show you care. For example, at a recent engagement, one of the key organizers was unable to attend. I took a quick video from the venue to wish her well and that she was missed. It took a few seconds but made difference in her world. To protect her privacy, here is a fun, 30 second example instead (uploaded to YouTube so you could see it easily).

Barbara,

We missed you at the Sales KickOff meeting in San Diego. Your team were gracious hosts. The attendee’s had a blast! All the planning you did paid off - big time. BUT… it really wasn’t the same without you.

Get well soon Barbara.

Warm wishes,

Vince

If you don’t know how to copy and paste pictures or videos into an email, it’s time to learn. You can either differentiate or wallow in the mediocrity of boring, uninteresting messages. Imagize your emails to show how much you care.

“Why?” The question repeats.

“Love” is the resolution.

Cara announced at the office, “Amy’s running an 8 minute mile in Boston. Scott said it was a perfect day. She smiled as she ran past.”

A few hours later, just before the plane doors shut, a young executive leaned over and showed a horrific video from the Boston Marathon finish line.

I texted Amy. They were safe. Facebook and Twitter lit up concerning the bombing. The newsrooms writhed and struggled with this act of hatred. All sought clarity.

Tragedy begets the question - “Why?”

FEAR soon fills the void.

If “why” is not solved, fear embeds its vicious tentacles into recesses of the brain. Like an unrelenting attack, cancer breeds more cancer. Its mission is to kill the host. Keep asking “Why?” without answers - and the cancer grows.

Socrates believed, “There is no solution: seek it lovingly.”

Turn fear away. Love becomes contagious!

1. Foster LOVE in your Biz
Dave Stone, founder of First Rate, Inc. has four values for his company, and ends all his emails with, “Love, Serve, Give & Enjoy.” His staff enjoys selecting charities, which get donations of 10% gross corporate revenue. Mike Schoder, owner and President of the Granada Theater, has love inherent in his culture. “Kindness and honesty equal our mission statement of fun.” FedEx has an internal motto, in order of priority. “People, Process, Profit.” Putting people first is an act of love.

2. Attach LOVE to Your Question
Consistently ask yourself a question with the word “love” in it. Example: How will I serve with love? Following a personal mission statement can be restricting. But living IN your personal question, especially in the name of love, will clear your way. When you consistently ask yourself, “How will I serve with love?” there may be no right answer but there is a right direction. And isn’t ‘the right direction’ where we all want to go?

3. Pivot to LOVE
Being right has become more important than being loving. Since there is no solution, and love is the answer then pivot from trying to right to being loving. If you are in a position of influence (Hint: If you’re breathing, you’re in a significant position of influence) then lead by example.

In 1993 I went through heart numbing closure on a failing marriage. To redirect attention onto something more positive I decided to run the Calgary Marathon with friends. Bryce Medd and I trained six days a week for six months. The plan was to get to the start line AND the finish line healthy. Four hours and forty-five minutes later, fighting through exhaustion, the finish banner finally appeared. Tears flowed as I fell into waiting friends’ embrace.

The devastation in Boston reignited those tears.

This time, for all time, love is the resolution.

He’s 70 and loves to work and was turned down for a job he really wanted. He didn’t lie down. He eventually got the position. How creative and smart will you be - to advance your career?

Harrison Ford was told he wasn’t right for the supporting role in 42, a movie about the life of Jackie Robinson. Ford is arguably one of the most successful actors in film history. He has generated over $6 billion in ticket sales, yet when he was interested in the role of former Brooklyn Dodgers general manager - Branch Rickey, director Brian Helgeland wouldn’t return his call.

“Nothing against [Harrison Ford]” Helgeland said about the casting process. He was opposed to Ford’s stardom. “I didn’t want [the movie] to be Jackie Robinson and Harrison Ford.” Yet, Harrison Ford really wanted the part of the complex, honorable and practical character who helped advance civil rights.

Ford kept calling and insisted on a meeting. The director relented. In the face-to-face conversation with Helgeland, Ford asked about specific scenes. At one point, Ford wanted to better understand a section of the screenplay. He said it could be played either one of two ways. Impromptu, he acted the scene one way. Then played the scene another way. It was clear Ford was intimate with the screenplay. What the director didn’t know was Harrison Ford researched Branch Rickey. He studied audio and film archives of the legendary Dodgers GM. He embodied Rickey’s mannerisms, voice and cadence.

Ford jokes he “…wore [Helgeland] down.” Not true. He approached his job search with the following system.

1. Never Shy Away from What You Want. What do you want? What are you doing about it? Harrison Ford is 70 and loaded. He’s neither retired nor complacent. There are no excuses. Want that job advancement, new client, new business idea? Go for it!
2. When They Don’t Call Back. Keep Calling. They didn’t reply to your email? They didn’t return your voice mail? If you haven’t called at least seven times you’re officially a wimp. Keep smiling and dialing. Get creative. Send them a 70-second video message where they see your eyes and your passion.
3. When They Answer Insist on a Meeting. Repeat after me. “We have to meet. Would two o’clock on Tuesday work or would 10 am on Wednesday be better?” Close until you get a meeting.
4. Do Amazing Homework. Don’t you dare go to the meeting on your charm and good looks alone. It doesn’t matter if you have generated $6 billion in ticket sales. The ONLY thing the interviewee cares about is his own derriere. One trip to Google is NOT research. Go in with an intimate knowledge of the solutions that the interviewee needs to know about. Know more than the interviewee knows.
5. Impress with Extraordinary Value. In the meeting, forget about the benefits of hiring you. Deliver on the extraordinary value you can provide.

If you’ve done your job right, the interviewee would be crazy not to engage you.

Andrew the Cabbie has a spectacular response to, “How are you?” “This morning I woke up with new grace, new forgiveness and a smile on my face. It doesn’t get better than that.” Now that’s an answer!

You’ve got to admit, the stock answer to the “How are you?” question is getting old.

“Good” or “Great” – Really? The grammar police will say, “What are you great at?.”

They’ll correct you with, “Well.”

Or the less “good/great/well” version - - “Fine.” “FINE,” being the acronym for:

• Fed Up
• Insecure
• Neurotic and
• Emotional.

Climbing out of the mediocrity of a stock response is not just about a change in routine. There are substantial benefits to having a more interesting reply.

1. Memorable Impression – Make your first impression or the next one memorable. Whether you’re in sales, reconnecting with a pal or simply making an acquaintance, deep down you want to have impact and influence. Even if it’s fleeting, the effect and affect you have resonates with the meaning of life. Andrew wanted you to know how grateful he was to be alive. There are unlimited impressionable answers to “How are you?” 

• I’m better than I deserve.
• If I were any better, vitamins would be taking ME.
• Why? What did you hear?
• Much better – according to my psychiatrist.
• I’m doing so well I have to sit on my hands to keep from waving at everyone.
• Totally charged. Don’t get too close though, sometimes sparks shoot out my nipples.

2. Reinforced Mindset – Reinforce a mindset that gives you energy and optimism. Good days or bad, yours truly answers with, “Livin’ the dream.” Your brain needs realignment now and then. “Livin’ the dream,” says you’re grateful and blessed. Give yourself every advantage you can. Reinforce your mindset with a positive, delightful response.

3. Connection Opportunity – Nurturing a connection is a privileged opportunity. Andrew’s answer about how he woke up with a new outlook quickly turned into a conversation. He might have been a random motivational taxi driver in Richmond, Virginia. Not after asking how he was. This service industry All-Star elevates his business one ride at a time. 

Let’s face it, when most people ask, “How are you?” – Do they really care? Do they?

Most don’t.

But, an impressionable, mindset reinforcing, opportunity to connect response pushes the needle on the caring meter to “I’m glad we met.”

Are you in the spotlight, or the spouse who inherited a less conspicuous role? The latter involves an elegant dance of being beside and behind someone, occasionally, at the very same time. Let’s call that grace in circumstance.

Meet Dottie Duke, the wife of Charles Duke, the 10th person to walk on the moon's surface.

The event was a private dinner we attended recently in Dallas. Last year, a chance to meet General Duke never transpired. On the way to this year’s dinner, I mentioned to Michelle a couple of times, “I hope we can meet the astronaut who was there last year.”

As luck, or the power of intention, would have it, Charlie and his wife Dottie sat down right beside us. We spent the evening conversing with a truly fascinating couple.

Towards the end of the evening, we decided to take a picture of the four of us. After a smile and a click, Dottie pulled on my arm and said, “A picture with you and Charlie is a good idea.”

How cool is that? After a half century of supporting her husband -- the guy in Houston's 1969 Mission Control talking to Neil Armstrong as he stepped on the moon, to 1972 when Charlie left his footprints on moon-dust while she cared for their two boys, to standing by him during his ascension to US Air Force brigadier general – she glided aside and gave a stranger a chance for a picture with a hero from the golden age of space travel.

Dottie and Charlie are about to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary.

It’s clear the success of their marriage is due in part to Dottie’s ability to dance with grace in circumstance.

What a nice reminder about the gift your grace can have in any dance of circumstance.