A normal part of parenting teens involves worrying about the choices they make. Talking with other parents, the conversation quickly leads to the unknown damage if phone cameras and social media were part of their own youth. Can you imagine the come-to-Jesus meetings between Olympic officials, parents and their young Olympians about the hazards of social media during the Sochi Games?

When getting accredited and prepped by Olympic officials in Albertville the conversations were about banned substances and conduct. At these games the conversations include social media and even terrorism.

As for social media, an athlete's conduct can be photographed, videoed and broadcast to millions. Sochi is already taking a hit by people latching onto the damaging photos of unfinished hotel rooms, toilets with viewing chairs, surveillance videos of people leaving their showers on, last minute construction and so on.

All it would take is a poor decision by an athlete with a snap happy buddy holding a camera phone and the world would know within seconds.

Now I can neither confirm nor deny we tried to steal the Olympic flag at our Olympics, nor would I ever admit our entire team trying to moon a VIP delegation passing by in limos when we were riding in short little busses they put athletes on. So, thanks to the lack of phone videos and Twitter these "hypothetical" deeds were never captured (if they ever, in fact happened) in digital forever-tude.

One thing that did get caught on video was a short incident where I was joining a bunch of tourists at an Erdinger Weisbeir sponsored pub in Albertville. Some camera crews were there and I held up a beer stein with some new friends. I wasn't drunk - nor out of control - but that might not be what it looked like. I never did catch any serious heat over this PR left-turn but had there been social media posts on Twitter or Facebook - things might have gotten way out of hand.

From an Olympic keynote speaker to the athletes attempting to enjoy their Olympic experience, use your best judgment. Err on the side of not taking any big chances away from the competition arena. Or, as my mom always says, "When in doubt, don't." You don't need to step on any social media metaphorical landmines.

If you're an Olympic Athlete you either realize you need to be 'chill' or get consumed by 'the jitters.' If your event is towards the beginning of the Olympic program the jitters are pretty intense. If you compete later the jitters just fester. Either way you need to chill. It's the Olympic Winter Games after all.

Our speed skiing event in Albertville occured on the last three days of the games. Each of us had been training and competing for years leading up to a brief 72 hours. Yet, a bunch of the speed skiers were so amped up, they marched in in the Opening Ceremonies, then dashed back to a training facility in Vars to cram some last minute work.

Me, I did the opposite. I didn't ski. I didn't train. I became a tourist until our official training runs. It was a blast! 

The way I figured it,

"If you don't know it by now, you won't know it by race day."

I resisted the temptation to join my fellow Canadian Olympic speed skiers. I didn't want take the chance to be secummed to 'the jitters.' I wanted to 'chill' instead. 

Being chill, whether you are a plumber, physician or a top closing keynote speaker... the payoff is always better than being overtaken by the jitters.

Right now a collection of skiers and skaters are struggling with the same issues. It's a pretty sure bet,

"If you don't know it by now, you won't know it by race day."

Movember. A great cause for men’s health. BUT, every time I try to grow a moustache I look like an Amish version of Wolverine. So, I flirted with my own theme. Put the “No” in November. Therefore, say ‘no’ to French Fries for the entire month. Scrreeeech. Then, Josh Kaufman showed up.

Now it’s ‘Yesvember.’

Saying ‘no’ to something is a pretty easy concept to wrap your mind around. Just pick something and don’t do it. Don’t eat it. Don’t say it. Don’t believe it. Don’t buy into it. So, no french fries.

But “Yes?” That’s a whole lot like commitment.

Mr. Kaufman’s TEDx talk refocuses the 10,000 hours rule made famous by Malcolm Gladwell’s book, Outliers. Originally, research determined it takes 10,000 to be highly skilled and occupy the pinnacle of a specific vocation. But, as Kaufman explains, "like a giant game of telephone," the rule has morphed into a watered down version: “It takes 10,000 hours to be good at something.” Kaufman jumped on the TEDx soap box and explains how we are way off.

According to Kaufman, all you need are 20 hours to be acceptably good at anything. 20 hours of focused, targeted time and you're good. Not an expert, just good. Things like learning a language, playing an instrument, learning a new sport, learning a technical skill or selling a certain product or service. He argues the age-old learning curve of aptitude is very steep at the beginning. You start as grossly incompetent, then gain a great deal of ground in the first ten hours or so. Its not until the learning curve starts to plateau (flatten out), the gains become subsequently more difficult to get, and greatness comes thousands of hours later.

If you said yes to learn something this month, what would it be?

Lest you think this is a one-way 70 Second eBrief – here’s my offer to join you.

I pick learning Spanish. I’ve had the Pimsleur Spanish CDs for years. Time to stop procrastinating.

What do you choose?

Here’s how Kaufman suggests we approach our 20 hour challenge.

1. Deconstruct the skill. Target the parts of the skill that make it work. For learning Spanish, what are terms and constructs most likely needed in conversations?
2. Learn enough to self-correct. Being able to notice when you’re making a mistake and doing something a little different.
3. Remove practice barriers. Use a little bit of willpower to remove distractions while you practice.
4. Practice at least 20 hours. Get past the initial-frustration phase, into the quantifiable-gains phase.

Still not sure? Pick something that scares you. Parachuting doesn’t count. That just takes a few seconds.

• Pick something where you can test yourself.
• Stretch your preconceived notions.
• Face your fears.

Here’s to an adventure in your capabilities in Yesvember – or, as they undoubtedly say in Spanish, Si-vember.

Prince was sitting off to our right. Max was waiting his turn to perform. The place was pulsing. Then up pops an Asian fella with a gold tooth, the right half his hair dyed platinum, an Alaskan Husky light blue eye on the same side and whack of so-so talent. But, all this was overshadowed by his infectious enthusiasm. He took the room’s energy to a whole new level. He said something to his appreciative audience that still sticks with us months later.

Simon made it clear he wanted to be a singer and performer his entire life. His thick accent was irrelevant when he performed a Michael Jackson song, Human Nature. He drew the packed room into the groove. Holding the microphone out to the audience, everyone participated.

“Why, Why? Tell her that it’s human nature. Why, Why?”

As the professional musicians played their roll of a live band version of Karaoke, other musicians dropped in and played too. It was Black Velvet Monday, full of uber talented, musical drop-ins. The location? New York's famous Village Underground, frequented by Prince and other of the musician elite. Later that evening, Tweet sang a couple of songs. (We’d never heard of her either – but the entire rest of the club had.)

To support Max, his sisters, mother and dad got there early. Turned out we were the only Caucasians in the place. It was a slice of an African American Speakeasy from the 20’s. Quite the scene!

Before he finished his song, Simon improvised a little motivational talk. He said he came to this country knowing this was the land of opportunity. Then he gathered more momentum and encouraged everyone to “Follow your dreams.” For him to sing in the USA was his life-long aspiration. Then the coup de grace… he declared with unbridled enthusiasm,

“Remember this. If you do nahteene… nahteene will happen. If you do somteene, somteene will happen. So everyone… DO SOMTEENE!”

The entire place erupted in in a spine-buzzing ovation. It was a magical moment.

It was also poetic significance for the 16 year-old white boy from Dallas who was about to go on stage – completely out of his typical element.

When Max got up he dismissed the band. Instead of doing covers of other famous works, he sang his own original. In place of an energy boosting tune, he sang a ballad on his acoustic guitar. The looks between his mother and I didn’t need spoken words, “I’m sure glad I’m not going on stage.”

But he did. He performed well and the audience showed their appreciation.

Was it the right venue to have a lyrical ballad. Maybe not. But, in the sentiments of Simon:

If you’re in the balance, considering commitment, STOP reading now. You’re not there yet. For the rest of you, let me lovingly grab your eyebrows – get so close you don’t know which eye to focus on... and say – “You are NOT committed yet. Not even close!”

"But... but…I walked down the aisle." - "I spent $10,000 on a marketing campaign." - "I said, Yes to the promotion." -  "I quit my job, got a business loan and ordered those shiny new cards."

Go ahead, argue, “I’m in the game. I am committed!” Don’t be delusional. You’re not remotely committed and won’t truly see this until you next-level yourself out of blissful ignorance.

You are not committed yet! No wedding band, comma on a check, my-word-is-my-bond or entrepreneurial leap into shark infested waters is real commitment. You won’t know the level of commitment necessary until you put yourself at a higher level.

Case in point. 1988. You quit your job. Become a Realtor. Move into a pathetic basement suite. Travel on a shoestring budget to ski races across Canada and the US. One would say, you are committed. You even win the National Championships. The person you see in the mirror is on track. Then you go to a “B” level international race in Sweden.

There, your thosearen’tpillows body-part is handed to you. In a field of aspiring international speed skiers, you place midfield. 55th. At this stage, there isn’t a chance in the Casa di Diablo you’ll ever make the Olympic team. You realize your commitment level needs to be raised. When you step it up; you eventually become ranked 10th in the world, break the national record five times and look upon 50,000 people waiting to see you race the gold medal round of the Olympic Winter Games.

You won’t be able to see the level of commitment necessary until your commitment is tested at a higher level. Examples include:

• Preeminent Trade shows.
• National association conventions.
• Personal coaching/counseling from the best, no BS, been-there-done-that professional you can find.
• Elite competitions where your aforementioned body part is on the line.
• Pretty much anything where you risk embarrassment or a contented ego.

Your first foray into that ‘Higher Level’ will not be comfortable. It will likely be categorically painful. But you deserve a new vista.

Gain a perspective of or from the outside, and you will gain clarity. The higher you go, the more insight you gain. Clarity makes your next steps more deliberate, definitive and profound.

Commitment clarity will be the greatest gift you can give your company, business or marriage. Ignorance may be bliss but you deserve more.

Step up to the next level!

The signs tell you to avoid it. The posters warn waiting passengers not to become “a statistic.” The big yellow line and the massive piece of screeching metal coming at you at 40 miles-per-hour is a pretty obvious clue. Still, it’s irresistible to want to peek over the edge.

We had some young friends stay with us on a recent New York trip. On the subway platform, the older folks were inclined to stay back, the younger ones wanted to peek over the edge. This catalyzed a thought worth exploring.

Think back to when you were young. The chances you took were not intended to be anything more than satisfying your inquisitive nature. Isn’t that what inspires a rebel – good-ol' curiosity?

“What would it be like?” you thought. Then you did it. The opportunity to experience something new out weighed any threat of consequence.

Those of us with all sorts of self-imposed responsibility, we play it safe. The possible consequences – no matter what level of imagination it takes to conjure up – supersede the magnetic draw of curiosity.

How strong is your curiosity muscle?

Does it look like an anemic chicken wing or is it ripped like an infomercial pitchman holding a dumbbell and your attention?

Risk is a seductive siren. "Just come a little closer. Take a look." The consequences are somewhere between enormous and fictitious.

It helps to have a guide to take you to safe passage. Whether it's a motivational keynote speaker, self-help book or a hand extended in your direction - mitigating the risk with someone who has edge-peeked in the past will surely help.

You know what risk you can feel comfortable but don’t let that stop you from peeking over the edge the next time you get a chance.

The life you want depends on it.

“Why?” The question repeats.

“Love” is the resolution.

Cara announced at the office, “Amy’s running an 8 minute mile in Boston. Scott said it was a perfect day. She smiled as she ran past.”

A few hours later, just before the plane doors shut, a young executive leaned over and showed a horrific video from the Boston Marathon finish line.

I texted Amy. They were safe. Facebook and Twitter lit up concerning the bombing. The newsrooms writhed and struggled with this act of hatred. All sought clarity.

Tragedy begets the question - “Why?”

FEAR soon fills the void.

If “why” is not solved, fear embeds its vicious tentacles into recesses of the brain. Like an unrelenting attack, cancer breeds more cancer. Its mission is to kill the host. Keep asking “Why?” without answers - and the cancer grows.

Socrates believed, “There is no solution: seek it lovingly.”

Turn fear away. Love becomes contagious!

1. Foster LOVE in your Biz
Dave Stone, founder of First Rate, Inc. has four values for his company, and ends all his emails with, “Love, Serve, Give & Enjoy.” His staff enjoys selecting charities, which get donations of 10% gross corporate revenue. Mike Schoder, owner and President of the Granada Theater, has love inherent in his culture. “Kindness and honesty equal our mission statement of fun.” FedEx has an internal motto, in order of priority. “People, Process, Profit.” Putting people first is an act of love.

2. Attach LOVE to Your Question
Consistently ask yourself a question with the word “love” in it. Example: How will I serve with love? Following a personal mission statement can be restricting. But living IN your personal question, especially in the name of love, will clear your way. When you consistently ask yourself, “How will I serve with love?” there may be no right answer but there is a right direction. And isn’t ‘the right direction’ where we all want to go?

3. Pivot to LOVE
Being right has become more important than being loving. Since there is no solution, and love is the answer then pivot from trying to right to being loving. If you are in a position of influence (Hint: If you’re breathing, you’re in a significant position of influence) then lead by example.

In 1993 I went through heart numbing closure on a failing marriage. To redirect attention onto something more positive I decided to run the Calgary Marathon with friends. Bryce Medd and I trained six days a week for six months. The plan was to get to the start line AND the finish line healthy. Four hours and forty-five minutes later, fighting through exhaustion, the finish banner finally appeared. Tears flowed as I fell into waiting friends’ embrace.

The devastation in Boston reignited those tears.

This time, for all time, love is the resolution.

Are you in the spotlight, or the spouse who inherited a less conspicuous role? The latter involves an elegant dance of being beside and behind someone, occasionally, at the very same time. Let’s call that grace in circumstance.

Meet Dottie Duke, the wife of Charles Duke, the 10th person to walk on the moon's surface.

The event was a private dinner we attended recently in Dallas. Last year, a chance to meet General Duke never transpired. On the way to this year’s dinner, I mentioned to Michelle a couple of times, “I hope we can meet the astronaut who was there last year.”

As luck, or the power of intention, would have it, Charlie and his wife Dottie sat down right beside us. We spent the evening conversing with a truly fascinating couple.

Towards the end of the evening, we decided to take a picture of the four of us. After a smile and a click, Dottie pulled on my arm and said, “A picture with you and Charlie is a good idea.”

How cool is that? After a half century of supporting her husband -- the guy in Houston's 1969 Mission Control talking to Neil Armstrong as he stepped on the moon, to 1972 when Charlie left his footprints on moon-dust while she cared for their two boys, to standing by him during his ascension to US Air Force brigadier general – she glided aside and gave a stranger a chance for a picture with a hero from the golden age of space travel.

Dottie and Charlie are about to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary.

It’s clear the success of their marriage is due in part to Dottie’s ability to dance with grace in circumstance.

What a nice reminder about the gift your grace can have in any dance of circumstance.

When is the Gig Up?

1. If you’ve lost your expertise or the gig doesn’t light you up, get off the field and coach.
2. If the coach speaks, shut the pie hole and listen. What (s)he knows is invaluable.

Bob Dylan (71) gave one of the worst concerts we’ve ever seen - ever! Paying hundreds of dollars to see a legend had the, “I saw him perform” equity. But his performance was embarrassing. Replace the band with an expert interviewer and people would get a whole lot more out of their investment. (Subtitles needed.)Chuck Berry (86) was happy to still be performing, he repeated songs, was completely confused at one point - yet the crowd loved that he was there and even do a version of the duck walk. Did we put a notch in the, “I saw him perform’ punch card? Yes. Was it professional musicianship? No. Put a spotlight on him and hear about all his shenanigans from 50’s and 60’s or advice from his years of experience – how cool would that be?

Paul McCartney’s (70) concert wasn’t bad, but not worth $250 a ticket. It was obvious Sir Paul “mailed it in.” He seemed unenthused and tired. Yet, give him a stool where he can tell Beatles stories – THAT would be entertaining.

Guys, if you’ve lost your expertise or your gig doesn’t light you up, get off the field and coach.

But, there are no guarantees in coaching.

Brian (60+) sold his chain for millions to a large restaurant conglomerate. They invited him on their board but consistently ignored his input. The younger voices in the boardroom thought they knew better.

Leon (70+) sold his restaurant chain in the midst of a dramatic growth curve. The current owners took the chain off its successful path - until they brought Leon back as a consultant. Revenue has improved.

Egon (60+) has enough money to retire. But he wants to share his wisdom. He is offering consulting – for free - to a lucky company who needs his ‘turn-around to quality’ expertise. His passion is helping people.

Guys, if you have it in you, we want to learn from you. We want to hear your voice and apply what we gain from your perspective. If you have that spark, let’s see it. It lights us up as well.

Of course there are many exceptions…

Wanda Jackson (75) has arthritis and charisma all at once. She captivated her fans with stories about Elvis and her songs that ushered in the age of rock and roll. Her voice strained past her big-as-the-South smile. The intimate crowd loved it.

Peter (74) started Thomas Franchise Solutions within the last couple of years. He is on fire. He’s enthusiastic and a driving force. He belongs in the captain’s chair and provides both the wisdom and the spark to make great things happen. He’s more fit than most 50 year olds. His passion is infectious. He’s in the game, loves the gig and belongs there.

To Bob, Chuck and Paul… thanks for the memories but you're not getting any more concert money from those who expect more.

Summer has a way of taking control. Sure, you plan your holidays as you flirt with the illusion of steering your course. But, between kids and other responsibilities, summer sits in the drivers seat and takes you for a ride. Push bossy summer into the back seat and give it a jolt of healthy, quirky fun.

Below is a Summer Bucket List by our 14 year-old daughter Alex. Her ideas might take a left turn here and there but the concept is definitely worth a test drive.

Alex's Summer Bucket List:

1. Have a summer pool party with friends (just for fun)
2. Get dressed super fancy for one day
3. Go one week without chocolate
4. Walk around the lake with our dog Annie
5. Have a two-person scavenger hunt at the mall
6. Listen to Spanish radio for an hour
7. Volunteer at C.C. Young Retirement Home for an afternoon
   
8. Solve a Rubix Cube
9. Do the splits
10. Prepare a full meal for the family
11. Learn a song on piano
12. Make exact Elf spaghetti (Chocolate syrup. Maple syrup. Sprinkles. M&Ms. Pop-Tarts on cold spaghetti noodles)
13. Get “slushied” Glee style
14. Watch Forrest Gump

Here’s Alex’s roadmap for your own Summer Bucket List.

1. Host a special get together with friends.
2. Get dressed up.
3. Nix a vice for a period of time.
4. Take a pet for a long walk.
5. Make shopping an adventure.
6. Stretch your brain.
7. Help local senior citizens.
8. Solve puzzle.
9. Teach your body a new move.
10. Prepare an innovative meal for loved ones.
11. Learn a song.
12. Reenact a scene from a movie.
13. Reenact a scene from a TV show.
14. Watch a classic movie you haven’t seen (or read a classic book you haven’t read).

Too busy to start your list? Then make a bowl of spaghetti, cover it in chocolate, maple syrup, sprinkles, M&Ms and crushed up Pop Tarts. The sugar rush will give you a 45 minute window to not only make the list but also do everything on it.

Vince

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NY Times bestselling author, Vince Poscente, is the founder of Libretto Publishing and has written five books translated into more than twenty languages. He writes about harnessing the speed of change, the way to reach BIG GOALS in less time, accelerating potential of human capital, how to get out of your own way and best of all, instant impact with lasting influence. Learn more about this motivational keynote speaker.