Chances are, if your lips are moving you’re selling something. The importance of stellar communication starts with active listening - not talking.

If you’re trying to get across a message to an employee, coworker, or even a teenager then it’s important to, as Stephen Covey says, “seek first to understand then to be understood.”

Once your lips start moving it may be too late to really have impact and influence. As we all attempt to go through our days and accomplish certain objectives it’s clear other people will likely be part of the solution.

Please join me as I walk through this topic with Rock and Rich. Their style of podcasting is one I think you will enjoy.

In the meantime, just know, that if your lips are moving, chances are you are selling something. Choose your words wisely based on what you’ve first sought to understand.

Hear the podcast with this link:
https://lnkd.in/gZZtWC-V

#influence #coworker #communication #rockandrich #setbacktobreakthrough

Passion makes up for a lack of humor chops or mediocre speaking skills.

Over the years, our office regularly gets calls from folks wanting insights regarding the speaking business. 100% of the time I personally take those calls because I was in their exact same position many years ago. Hence, I pay it forward with 15 minutes on what’s essential in this biz.

Every few weeks we’ll get a call from a celebrity agent, or best-selling author looking to go from good speeches to great audience experiences. In these cases, I’ll offer a three-month speech coaching contract. (PS I have my own coach as one should never underestimate the value of an outside perspective.)

One of my past speaking clients had a significant market presence in the financial world. This guy lives entirely in his left brain. Data makes him all giddy. Telling jokes and presentation humor is NOT his jam.

“Vince, how can I be funny?” he asked during one session.

“You can hire Mack Dryden. Also, you can also lean into your passion,” I replied. “When you talk about compound interest as the 8th wonder of the world it’s truly entertaining in a dorky sort of way. You get all animated and passionate about it. Keep doing that and you don’t necessarily have land jokes in your financial talk.”

Another gentleman who netted over $200m per year approached me to be his speech coach. He wanted to improve his speaking skills at his industry events. On our 15-minute call, I reviewed what I saw from his recording in front of 500 business leaders. I declined to coach him for one reason - his desire for presentation skills was not worth 3 months of his or my time. He had all the passion in the world. He was better on stage than he thought. His passionate take on overcoming obstacles superseded any “ums” or lack of speaking chops he demonstrated.

Whether it’s a presentation, leadership style, or sales acumen ➡️ lead with passion and your platform skills become secondary.

#leadershipskills #salesskills #speakingskills #speechcoach

Here’s what I learned from writing eight books on leadership for the self. It’s easy to write a bad book. It’s a worthy challenge to write a good book. What makes a good book?

Psssst. This also applies to memos, emails, and letters.

If you’ve got a book in you, here are a few objectives that I personally strive for (and hopefully achieve):

💡 Make it a Page Turner. Every sentence, paragraph, and chapter should entice the reader to want to read the next sentence, paragraph, and chapter. If you get the reader so flipping curious to know what’s next, give yourself a gold star.

💡 Make it Innovative or Counter Intuitive. If the reader thinks, “No $#1+ Sherlock,” then you’ve missed the mark. Use this as your mantra… “Never state the obvious.” Example: “Fall is here and the leaves are turning color,” or “You may be stuck between a rock and hard place,” then you have lost your audience.  Think of clichés and aphorisms as toxic book sludge.

💡 Bring People Into an Experience. Content does not rule the day if the experience doesn't lead the way. Yes, you want to grab someone’s attention with a point that has them think, “Gee, I didn’t think of it that way.” But then quickly transition into a story that has them noodling on what this must have felt like. At this point, you can support the story with your irresistible content.

This video is an exploration of a story-forward concept that is full of content designed to help people like you and me to get past any personal earthquakes. Heck, the Dalai Lama liked it…

I trust this helps.

#authortips #leadershipskills #TheEarthquake #dalailama #setbacktobreakthrough

Infinite possibilities are like leaves on a stream. Some float by without a second dedicated thought. Some eddy and remain within reach. Based on recent research, a human being has about 6,200 thoughts per day. That translates into about 170 million thoughts in a lifetime.

Which thoughts of yours are worth grabbing and turning into action?

Hold onto those marquee thoughts that light up your insides. These ones flip a switch and tingle the spine.

What thoughts can’t be ignored?

What resonates with your life purpose?

1️⃣ A good idea won’t go away. If you wake up and that pesky thought keeps popping up. Pay attention. Poke at it. Talk about it.

2️⃣ A thought that excites you AND scares you is meant to be honored. If I’ve taught my kids anything it’s “Never make a decision based on fear.” Honor those thoughts that need your focus.

3️⃣ Some thoughts are born out of negative patterns. These ones need to be interrupted until they stop appearing.

Interrupt these ones:
·     I’m not good enough.
·     I’m not worthy.
·     I’m too young/old/tall/short/overweight/skinny etc.

Consistently interrupt thoughts that don’t serve you. Replace them with those thoughts that inspire you. Eventually, the toxic pattern will dissipate and disappear.

Be the architect of your dominant thoughts and establish a truth about yourself that inspires others.

Finally, be sure you are fully present as much as possible. Goofy fears show up with what might happen in the future. This means you're switched off in the present. You won't likely see the opportunity floating by. Or, the wackadoodle distractions from the past block any present-moment awareness. 

Who knew this embracing opportunity would be so simple yet elusive at the same time?

Just for grins. Re-read this blog post and notice what you didn't intake because your mind wandered to the future or past. :-) If you were present the whole time. Way to go. If your mind wandered like every other normal human... remember...

You got this!

#mindset #positivity #saleskills #leadershipskills #setbacktobreakthrough

Catch a decision maker off guard with your willingness to walk away and they’ll lean into what you have to offer.
 
In 2010 Music World Entertainment hired me to motivate their staff to “do what the competition is not willing to do.” MWE’s founder, Mathew Knowles helped his daughters Beyonce and Solange Knowles build their careers. First guiding Destiny’s Child then managing two successful solo careers.
 
From the age of 10, Max Poscente made it clear he would be a professional musician. I brought him to Houston to check out his dad's speech while he might gain some insight from the rest of the agenda. COO John Cawley was the first to recognize Max's potential and suggested my pre-teen son perform his own music while everyone ate lunch. Max rarely played covers back then.
 
Mathew jumped up, “Max how about you come down to Houston in a month or two and we’ll record one of your songs? Would you like that? Come to my office at the end of the day and we’ll talk about it.”
 
Waiting in the lobby, as the setting sun peeked through the window, Max insisted we should leave because “Mr. Knowles wouldn’t get my music.”
 
I encouraged Max to hear Mr. Knowles out. It was a fascinating conversation as Max finally admitted, “Mr. Knowles, I appreciate your interest, but I don’t think this will work. I just don’t think you’ll get my music.”
 
Mathew went from tilting back to leaning forward. He started selling Max on why he would be good for Max’s music career.
 
Skip ahead to Mathew and his A&R team flying up to Dallas to see Max’s band rehearse plus the makings of a 360-degree deal. At that time Beyonce wanted to spread her wings. She left MWE. With this tectonic change, Max, Mathew, and John continued their friendship as each went their separate ways.
 
I think back to that time, 12 years ago, when a music icon went from a gracious posture to a let’s-do-this vibe.
 
Here’s to friends knowing what they want and going for it.
 
#DecisionMakers #Beyonce #MusicWorld #setbacktobreakthrough

Here's a little experiment going head-to-head with Chat GPT with my own Vince Poscente style of writing.

First read the article I wrote.

Second is the Chat GPT version. What do you notice?

Building Character (by Vince Poscente)

Who sets out to build character? Maybe someone who has hit rock bottom and realizes a different way is needed. Possibly someone who doesn’t like what they see in the mirror? It could be a simple case of just trying to be a better person.

Helen Keller perceived it this way, “Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved.”

Any way you approach the development of character, chances are it will be a path of either discipline or a dose of ‘ye shall overcome.’ Ease and quiet is definitely a curl up and enjoy this moment but driving forward and skinning knees is going to be a way to a richer life experience.

Is there a way to enjoy trials and struggles? Look to your character to answer that riddle:

💡 Are you curious? Then make your curiosity character trait front and center. Take away learning from this challenge.

💡 Are you creative? Do you get energy from the process of seeing the world in a new and fun way? Then ensure you fashion your approach creatively.

💡 Are you a solution-oriented person? Does the feeling of solving problems give you the spice of life?

There is a myriad of ways to develop your character. You can both grow by choice or circumstance.

Either way, let’s grow.

OK... here is the Chat GPT version of my "Building Character" article:

Building character is a journey that requires discipline and perseverance. This journey can be initiated for various reasons such as hitting rock bottom, wanting to be a better person, or simply realizing that a change is necessary. The development of character is not a smooth road, as Helen Keller once said, "Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved."

Trials and struggles are a natural part of the character-building process, but that does not mean they cannot be enjoyed. One way to make the most of this experience is to embrace your unique traits and use them to approach challenges. If you are curious, make sure to make your curiosity a character trait and take away learning from every challenge. If you are creative, use your imagination to fashion a creative approach to every situation. If you are solution-oriented, allow the feeling of solving problems to give you the spice of life.

There is no one right way to develop your character. Some people grow by choice, while others grow through circumstance. However, one thing is for certain, character growth is a personal journey that requires a significant amount of self-reflection, self-awareness, and introspection.

Character development is a lifelong journey that is essential to living a rich and fulfilling life. Whether you grow by choice or circumstance, the process will involve discipline and perseverance. Remember to embrace your unique traits and use them to make the most of every challenge. With the right mindset, you can turn trials and struggles into opportunities for growth and personal development.

****************

So what do you think? Please leave comments below.

On a recent LinkedIn Poll, I asked folks, just like you, "Which leadership characteristic was most effective in a job, project, or team you've been involved with?"

Definitions of each leadership style featured were:

Autocratic – Confidently issues directives, especially in urgent situations. An autocratic leader promptly and effectively issues strategy, procedures, and direction. This leader may praise personally but will just as easily criticize someone. They can be friendly or hostile putting a priority on the health of the organization. Example: Bill Belichick and Margaret Thatcher

Participative – The leaders gather input from team members for everyone to contribute to decision-making. The leader still decides but allows others to feel engaged in the outcome. They can spark creativity while remaining objective. Examples: Indra Nooyi, Walt Disney, and Nelson Mandela.

Laissez-faire – Don’t let the name fool you. They are far from a lazy leader. They empower employees without micromanagement. They provide feedback when asked, otherwise, they listen carefully and are expert delegators. At times, the team may not fully understand the organization’s mission or the leader’s expectations. Examples: Steve Jobs and Warren Buffet.

Transformational – Employees rally around their grand vision. With a team eager to evolve personally and professionally – they coalesce under a singular cause. Their qualities include encourager, communicator, visionary, and inspirational. While lines of communication are always open, burnout and some feeling left out of the big picture may occur. Examples: Meg Whitman and Jeff Bezos
                                                              and/or
Adaptive – This leader adapts as needed. They can be an autocrat when there’s chaos than a lassez-faire leader when necessary. They may democratize decisions, then be more proactive with transformational leadership. Examples: Cynt Marshall, Richard Branson, and Abraham Lincoln

Comments included: 

"When working with companies I use Transformational. that being said, I would say a good leadership style must be situational, so the answer would be Adaptive. Whereas when working on a new project and looking for innovation, might be participative, etc."

Dr. Karen Jacobson, CEO of Aligned Leadership

"I gravitate to transformational but I know it depends on the situation. I pilot who has lost three engines is probably not going to focus on inspiring the team. She'll be focused on a "pack mindset" where each member of the crew knows exactly what to do. BTW, Eric McNulty has some great thinking on this in the book, "You're It: Crisis, Change, and How to Lead When It Matters Most."

Dain Dunston, Founding Partner at Reservoir, LLC

"I choose laissez-faire. That worked for me as an often traveling CEO. I had great people execute the plans day to day!"

Dianna Booher, Hall of Fame Speaker - Bestselling Author

"In the words of the late Arte Johnson, "Verly Intelesting." On the more serious side, Vince, I would have to classify myself as adaptive. The biggest challenge to that characteristic is clear communication that connects with the audience."

Brian Kennedy - Small Business Leadership Consultant

"Love the breakdown of each leadership type. I think there are good attributes to each one of these leadership styles but at the end of the day we must be able to adapt to any scenario."

Chip Eichelberger, Certified Speaking Professional

Here's to good leadership that is required in times of uncertainty, opportunity, challenge, and triumph. 

#leadershipstyles #team #bestjobever #setbacktobreakthrough

The following is a podcast interview with Vince Poscente on Michael Vickers' Becoming Preferred podcast. 

(Please pardon the typos as this transcript was grabbed from a Word dictation.)

Interviewer Michael Vickers: Personal catastrophes are like earthquakes. They leave us too shaken to know what to do next, afraid that every step we take might spark another upheaval. But we can learn to resist our human instinct to hide from challenges. If you want to learn how you can break through and thrive after a life-altering setback, you're going to enjoy my conversation with international bestselling author Vince Poscente. Well, hi, Vince. Welcome to the program. We're delighted to have you.

Vince Poscente: Good to be with you.

Interviewer Michael Vickers: You and I had a chance to visit this summer and have dinner and we talked about some of your latest projects in your latest books. And so I really appreciate the fact that you decided to come on and chat about your books and some of your work. Now, you and I have known each other for a couple of decades now. I was trying to do the math on this, so don't do the math. I know it's really scary. Well, we both started our careers and let's give a little background to our audience, how you got where you are. But how did you evolve from an Olympic athlete to becoming a world-class, bestselling, international, bestselling author, leadership, coach, and specialist? And obviously, you're speaking all over the world. Let's go there. Let's get some context to this.

Vince: Well, I think the biggest advantage was not winning in the Olympic Games because, no, that was my exit strategy. I thought, geez, I was ranked 10th in the world. I could win a gold medal and then be on the speaking circuit and I placed 15th, right? And yeah, it was 18 months until I gave my first speech and it was a cancellation. I'm pretty sure it was a networking event with 90 people. They asked if I would come in and speak at their event. And gosh, it was one of those inflection points, you know, in your life. Four people came up after and said, you know, you have to do this for a living, right? And it's a fact, a good idea won't go away. I didn't know it existed from the standpoint of somebody who has content and I really never thought of myself as having. That much content until I went back and went, wait a minute, I went from recreational skier to the Olympics in four years. So I took a big goal and cut the learning curve in half. Could that be useful for a sales audience or a leadership group?

Interviewer Michael Vickers: And so turns out, yeah, I remember when, you know, I believe you were like 26 at the time, and you're watching the Olympics. Not 88 in Calgary. Is that the one you were watching? 88811 pics.

Vince: I was 26 years old. I had a ticket for the opening ceremonies and I watched buddies of mine who had raced against and in the sport of luge. They were on the Olympic team and I was in the stands in Calgary holding a ticket and went, wait a minute, this habit of walking away from uncertainty. It wasn't working. That sting of regret was enough to motivate me to pick up the sport of speed skiing, which would be a demonstration sport in the Olympics four years after Calgary.

Interviewer Michael Vickers: Well, when it comes to the speed skiing, I remember when you started and I remember seeing some of your early engagements, and there was a term of a real popular group called the Crazy Canucks and it was a nickname for a group of World Cup. Alpine ski racers from Canada who, many of these guys, they rose to prominence primarily in the 70s and 80s. We had jungle Jim Hunter, Steve Irwin, Dave Murray's Podborski, Ken Reed. These guys, you know, earned a reputation for being fast and crazy or recklessly skiing in the downhill event. And I thought, well, they went 80 miles an hour downhill and then I came across what you do and watched some of the work that you do. And in the races, when you tell our audience just the slight differences so we can really define what crazy looks like.

Vince: I knocked down the Canadian record five times, and the final time that I did it, I went 135 miles an hour down the mountain on skis in a rubber suit. That's crazy.

Interviewer Michael Vickers: Well, I remember watching when you talked about your training 135. You would. Right on top of a car. Yeah. And they strap you out to a station wagon or something and you had your skis on. Was that true story?

Vince: Yes. I would have to say it's twice true. Well, I couldn't get into a wind tunnel. I tried actually to get into the NRC, right, National Research Council in Ottawa. And I called him up and I said, can I get in? And they said, well, it cost money. I said how much? I guess it was something like $2000 every five minutes or something like that and I said can you sneak me in? He said what? Wait, what are you? And I said I'm a speed skier. He goes to listen, what is that? And I said well I wear a skin tight rubber suit and a Darth Vader style helmet and the guy says well that sounds kinky but this is Ottawa, come on down. And so anyway, ended up getting a buddy who was a race car driver, and we figured out how to strap the skis to the top of the car and ensure that the whole rig didn't fly off. And indeed, I had a pink rubber suit, like a hot pink rubber suit, and a lovely 100 miles an hour. You know, a hundred 200 kilometers an hour. And the top of the car. I forget about the speed was in kilometers, clicks, 160. Yeah, yeah, about 160 clicks on top of cars.

Interviewer Michael Vickers: Now, you really leverage that. You written a number of different books, but I want to talk about, first of all, the precursor to your latest book, The Earthquake and your prequel of the book was the Ant and the Elephant. And it was a huge success and celebrities endorsed. Talked about it. I mean, you did really well with that book. And the lessons that come from this are a little different from The Earthquake.

Vince: Yeah. Let's set the stage here a little bit on The Ant and the Elephant, because you may have a recollection of Doctor Lee Pulos? (Sure.) And he came into town and spoke on the power of the mind, that kind of thing. But. There was one bit of research that just I never forgot in a second of time, your conscious mind processes with 2000 neurons, while your subconscious mind is processing with four billion neurons. So 2000 conscious, 4 billion subconscious, the ratio that he used. Because if you took a golf ball and you put it on the top of the Houston Astrodome, the golf ball would be the conscious mind, the Astrodome the subconscious.

I always give credit where credit is due, but I also don't want to steal somebody's metaphors. So I changed it and I said, well, what if it was the ratio between an ant and an elephant, which is exactly the same. The ant on the back of the elephant is the conscious. Mind making decisions. The subconscious mind is the elephant also making decisions on direction, right. So you can intend on going West, but what if the elephant is headed east? And so that book sprang out of the first, the idea of that metaphor, but then saying, wait, that could be a parable. So in the early 2000s I wrote to the Ant and the Elephant. Self-published and it's been translated into like I've lost track. I think it's over 14 languages now. LeBron James quoted it in Sports Illustrated. FedEx used it as a leadership tool, DuPont used it for safety training. So this is a very sticky concept where we can intend on going in a direction. That end up in a different place.

Like I intend on going on a diet and then walk by the mirror, go, wait a minute, this is not working. Yeah. You talk about that, though. It's a major principle of your writing that you teach us that we need to align our conscious and our subconscious. Yeah, because if our conscious is going one direction and our subconscious is going a different direction.

How do we form that alignment? It starts with the emotional quotient. And I think a big mistake we make in our world today is we often ask, what do I do? So if we want to accomplish some goal, the first question automatically is what do I do? You don't start there. You start with the emotional quotient. Like, what's the emotional buzz? Or in that book, it's called the Elephant Buzz, which is when a thought creates a physical reaction. That is a litmus test for 2000 neurons and four billion neurons headed in the same direction.

That's alignment, right? And I think of that for a second if you had intention. And 4 billion neurons. Of Agenda going in, the exact same huge, huge things get easier. Stuff appears to you. It's absolutely beyond our comprehension, as much as it's beyond the comprehension of an ant to understand an elephant underneath it's six feet. It doesn't see elephant. It sees a gray landscape. And so this notion of having. That kind of alignment and emotional buzz, you could call it intuition, but it doesn't have to make sense.

So, for example, when I was 26, it didn't make sense to attempt to be on the Canadian ski team in a sport I had no knowledge of. Made no sense because I had no ski race experience. So that makes no sense. But the emotional buzz of marching in the opening ceremonies of the Olympic Games was a clue. A litmus test for this is worth paying attention to.

Interviewer Michael Vickers: Now, we can never know what path to take, but we could certainly pay attention to the clues. How do you tap into that? So let's say we've got our conscious mind. Yep, we know where we want to go. We know we're objective. We use our intuition. You do a lot of. I mean, every mental exercise possible for meditation and visualization, you've added all of those things. Are those all ingredients of that as well? Yeah, they're all different means to the same end.

Vince: So in answer to your question, there's two universal truths. One, you'll gravitate towards your dominant thought and the other universal truth is you'll gravitate to that which you believe to be true.

We are often pedestrians when it comes to dominant thoughts and truths.

The truth is the truth. What do you mean the dominant thought? Well, the dominant thoughts are they just thoughts? They appear. So they're dominant. Right? Right.

Go from being a pedestrian to the architect of those dominant thoughts.

To be the architect of that which you believe to be true, because we could dive into the psychology of the cognitive model. But if I could say this simply, what we typically do in the order of things is say, well these actions will lead to these results, right? So if I do this, I'll get this result. If I go on a diet, I'll lose weight. If I make more sales calls, I'll be able to get more business. So this relationship between action and results is myopic.

Don't be so nearsighted in terms of focusing just on the actions and look that the cognitive model, which is basically set up with a filter. And we all have our own filter of our beliefs, our attitudes and truths. So we have conscious beliefs, attitudes and truths. The Wackadoodle part of all this was we have subconscious beliefs, attitudes and truths. And if you overlay the ant the elephant concept, there are 4 billion neurons of beliefs, attitudes and truths that are below consciousness.

Interviewer Michael Vickers: A big iceberg.

Vince: You don't know what you don't know. And so the notion of being the architect for your beliefs, attitudes and truths, for your subconscious mind is what I needed to be able to accomplish as an athlete because the conscious mind knew it was unrealistic to try and go for the Olympic Games. But if it's a universal truth that you'll gravitate to that which you believe to be true, and you can be the architect of your dominant thought.

Interviewer Michael Vickers: It's repetition bias, right?

Vince: It's the human condition. You repeat something enough times, it becomes true. And so it's just turning the tables on this human condition and being proactive about it. And so that's what the Ant, the elephant is about. It's being able to to align your aunt and elephant so that in the parable of the book they end up getting to the Oasis. And that formula in the book, the end the elephant, is the exact same formula that I used to get to the Olympic Games in four years, to be ranked 10th in the world after two years being medal contention in those Olympics. Because I started with that emotional buzz.

Interviewer Michael Vickers: I think you talked about with all the characters, whether it's a dear Elgo, Brio or Adir, the behaviors that changed and that alignment as it evolved into the earthquake, the proverbial hits the fan. And matter of fact, you talk about that in the opening preface, introduction of your book where life is going great, so you're according to plan. You achieved the objective, you got the Ant, the elephant moving in the right direction, and then all of a sudden something outside of your own condition that you had no control over kind of just slapped you down, right? Do you use the same formula to carry forward and do it again, or does it need to evolve again? \

Vince: Well, personally, I had to learn the hard way that no, it's not the same formula, right? This forming the the elephant I used not just to get to the Olympic Games, but being inducted into the Speaker Hall of Fame, for example, right?

Interviewer Michael Vickers: Yeah, you achieved a lot on the for sure.

Vince: New York Times best-selling list. How'd that happen? It was all sorts of intention and subconscious agenda that was aligned, but the opening line of the earthquake reveals. The concept, which is that opening line, is there's no linear way of chaos when we are smacked in between the eyeballs, right?

With a personal earthquake, a financial earthquake, a relationship earthquake, a health earthquake, or just an earthquake? Right when your whole world from underneath you is yanked out is the hard way to learn this lesson. It's a cliche, but what got you here isn't necessarily going to get you there. And it didn't.

Interviewer Michael Vickers: A lot of people were hit by a financial earthquake in 2008 and some were able to thrive. I know you and your business thrived in 2008 because you were able to adapt and respond to a market in a way that the market went, we need you now. And the opposite happened for me. I want to go into that, but let's really take that quote because it's a great quote and I had it done in our notes. “There is no linear way out of chaos. What has worked in the past might not work in the future” and hard lesson and you are very, very transparent.

Matter of fact, I really appreciated your transparency and the introduction where things were going well and basically you've got a big slap down by the economy and by conditions outside of what you did. And I understand that what that did for you, the pandemic, did for me. So I totally could relate to it and love the principles and the tools that you teach in the earthquake. When it comes to Richter scale, there's different levels of I know it goes between three and seven and if you get above 7, it's a nasty one. People die, right? So the pandemic, we'll call that an 8 plus, it could go in there and I've been an earthquake, so.

I was in the big earthquake in San Francisco at the time and just come off the bridge, the Oakland Bay Bridge. An hour earlier in the bridge, collapsed and down, watch telephone poles bounce and hit the ground. Before I know what it looks like, you feel helpless. Let's go into a little more detail of exactly where you were, because a lot of people can relate to that with the pandemic. Is italic on business, and what I want to show them is. You know, it's presenting your family along with your wife. Michelle and family moved from a being top of the totem pole to having to recreate, redefine after sweating bullets for quite a while and dealing with it because other people can share and relate to them.

Vince: Yeah, from 2008 on it was a long, long road to try and figure out how to get out of that chaos. And when the pandemic hit, I learned my lesson. It's just put out value. I pushed out value.

I thought the pandemic would last maybe three weeks. Yeah, right. So I said everything. I'm gonna put out a video to help other people, you know? Yeah, eight months later with 250 videos or whatever it was. I mean, on daily videos of pushing out value, hey, you get better if you do something repeatedly.

But B, you've got intellectual property, you've got some assets that you can repurpose along the way as well, so. Which I've done with all that. So I was able to kind of come out on top and then there's just been all sorts of headwinds that just don't matter anymore. It's being able to provide value. But man, in 2008, 2009, 2010, 2011, 1213, it was just an insidious slide into why is this not working? And concept for the earthquake. I got it quite early. I got it maybe seven years ago, six years ago, but I hadn't figured out how.

I hadn't figured out how to get out of my own personal earthquake, so it took years. That ended up being the purpose of this book was once I figured out how I would share that was universal.

Interviewer Michael Vickers: Well, and and I love those true things. You see in the book that when we have an earthquake, our conscious mind searches for solutions that have served us in the past without accepting that this is no longer the past. So it becomes our new reality. And unpack that for us. Yeah, it's a concept that early on in the book where I call it grasp the contradiction. And the contradiction is, I know what to do. I've been here before. I know how to get out of this. The contradiction is the subconscious mind is thinking the exact opposite thing, and this is subconscious. So the subconscious below consciousness is going. This is painful.

Vince: Imagine if you had a knife in your leg and the advice you get? “Don't think about the knife. Just focus on what you want. Or let go.”

What? Are you kidding me? No, I'm not letting go. This hurts. Is a knife in my leg. And so this grasping, that contradiction, maybe a better visual would be, let's say in a relationship. You and Beth are in the same vehicle, right? (Right.) And you each have a steering wheel, and you've got your steering wheel. Beth has her steering wheel. And the contradiction is you're not going to get anywhere if you both have your hands on the steering wheel, right?

And there has to be a new steering wheel. There has to be almost a third reality and ability to discover. What this new solution is, which is off your radar, it's not part of your past. It's not even an option in front of you because you don't know. Cause the earthquake is so devastating. This divorce was so devastating. This bankruptcy was so devastating that the subconscious mind is deflated. It's in pain. It doesn't know what to do. It just wants to run for cover. And the conscious mind is going, I've got this, I'm going to do this, I'm gonna make this, I'm gonna will this into existence, right?

Interviewer Michael Vickers: Yeah. It's not how it works.

Vince: No, it doesn't happen. So for each of you to take your hands off that steering wheel is a massive move in the right direction in chaos, which makes no sense.

Interviewer Michael Vickers: But that's the contradiction was that, and I think it's your good friend and mentor, Harville Hendrix. And he talks about the third reality. And it's an interesting point. I know we talked some relationships and other things as well.

Vince: Well, it's the reason that I was able to come up with a solution loop. We went out for lunch and I said I just can't wrap my mind around. He says, oh, that's simple, it's a relationship. Of course, coming from him been on Oprah 19 times and he wrote books on relationships was like, Oh yeah, yeah, it's a relationship between conscious and subconscious. Mind changed everything. Y

Interviewer Michael Vickers: it's a great insight and you used the same characters. Your character key you've got your you've got Adir, Elgo, Brio, Chromia, and Valafar. It's built as a parable and you tell the story, which makes you really like the characters. And I know you use a I think I heard on one of your interviews somewhere that you try and follow up like a Pixar storytelling model. What if this was a movie? What if this is something we could watch? Is that how the framework for the story unfolded?

Vince: Yeah, it was. I cheated a little bit and I went to the screen writing world and they call it the beat sheet. And the beat sheet is basically a standard model for how a story unfolds. And so I looked at the beat sheet and I went, OK, because I'm a novice when it comes to storytelling really quick. I wrote The Ant and the Elephant, early 2000s and haven't written a fictional story since. But I knew how important character development was. I knew in, new characters show up like vultures when you go through an earthquake. It's absolutely shocking how people will come in for blood when you're just trying to survive.

Interviewer Michael Vickers: Valefar the Vulture shows up, you got Chromia, the wolf, who's just chasing it down because she wants to eat. And it's like, well, getting skinny here because it's not working right? There's all sorts of characters that end up showing up and being able to draw somebody through. That almost like the hero's journey. In a way.

Vince: I drew from that as well. When you look at examples like Star Wars or Avatar or any of the Pixar movies, they kind of paint by numbers a little bit the hero’s journey and then the darkest of times. And so I followed that formula, but it's a parable that has content attached to it. Yeah.

Interviewer Michael Vickers: The principles and the wisdom that they learn in the road maps and the analogies and metaphors that you use within the story are very, very applicable. And. And like you say, the hero's journey, you've got the hero and then there's the guide, right? And you have like Ella, I believe is the guide, the elephantine subconscious character. And you relate and you remember who they are. And and they'll go. There are just some wonderful characters. And I thought you did a good job, but you saying there when devastation gets in the way through the middle is the way. What do you mean by that?

Vince: If my kids remember one thing that I've taught them and it's the one thing I live my life by, it's this saying “Never make a decision based on fear.” And a fellow Canadian, John Amatt, said, “When you run away from fear, it gets larger. When you go towards it, it gets smaller.”

Interviewer Michael Vickers: That's interesting. And so through the middle is the way it's in. The middle is where maybe the largest fears reside, but that's where the solutions are to pass through that, to stay away from it. And to be full of fear, to stay and stand aside, it's just going to get worse. No, I love that Ryan Holiday wrote a book called Obstacles Are The Way in which he takes a lot of his source material from the Stoics from 2000 plus years ago.

Obstacles are the way, the path most people they look for the easy way around. They try and get out of that where the middle is the way so. Instead of resisting the challenge, you write about it. We want to ease into that space that every challenge provides. Don't panic and say embrace the unknown. Yeah, it's easy to say, by the way. Yeah, see, I was gonna say that's a tough one, but it is tough, right? Because that's where the pain is too.

Vince: Yeah. Wait a minute, that caused a lot of pain. And you want me to go towards that? Everybody should try doing martial arts a little bit sure, because you will learn something quite quickly that an oncoming force is not to be resisted, it's to be used to your advantage. (Take their energy off, yeah, take that energy and use it to your advantage.)

And so if someone were to come at you with a knife, the reaction is to resist and push back. Well, actually in any of the martial arts, it's to reach in and redirect that, that, that oncoming force and then bring it down that way. So it's just one of those life lessons that you either are going to learn the hard way or our human condition is like resistance. No, no, no, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Interviewer Michael Vickers: I believe it's chapter two of your book. You talk about using discomfort. Along these lines as a catalyst, because you never know what's next until you encounter what isn't so you can recreate that new reality and it's that path of self-discovery before you. It's before each of us. So I kind of checked that the line you had, the more stubborn I am where I will struggle with letting go. So discomfort will force me to create a new reality. Yeah, yeah. It's again, that part of that resistance, right.

Vince: Yeah. And I'm with you on that. I mean, so I just want to be comfortable. I just want to be comfortable. Cozy. You’re in an earthquake. Well, how's that working out for you? And so that really is the way to go through that middle of it. That discomfort is to be poked at. That discomfort is what's causing that, because you can put a Band-Aid on it or you can go, wait a minute, what if I put on knee pads and then went skateboarding? It's just this kind of lessons as we learn along the way well, and it's how we look at things.

Interviewer Michael Vickers: And I've been reading studies about anxiety and these people were there's a lot of anxiety out there and we all suffer from anxiety at different levels. And remember when COVID hit? I cried for a week. All of our engagements cancelled. I went, Oh no. My wife and I were in two different countries. It was on my going to get locked out. The boy, they were shutting down borders. Who knew how long this was even going to last for? We've got at the time of our recording here. We've got the stuff going on over in Europe with great Ukraine and Russia creates anxiety. We've got leaders. Talking to you is the big one, but that's just that anxiety. It could be related to our jobs, fear of recessions, all kinds of things. And you say we can interrupt that anxiety.

In the book, in Chapter 3, the characters talk about harnessing action to interrupt the anxiety and that we need to stop being the victim because that's a place of powerlessness and stop saying. There's a great line. You say something I 1000 times and it's locked in 1000 times. So how do we make that dysfunction, the new normal?

Vince: It's about being that architect instead of a pedestrian. This notion that when things are catastrophic, it's feeling of powerlessness. As I wrote this book, I definitely didn't want The Earthquake to be a cliché book. And it's so we're dancing around a lot of cliches right now because there is this resistance that we naturally have to say, well, I'm powerless. I'm a victim in this situation. I don't know if there's a better feeling than being able to act in the state of powerlessness. Because suddenly you aren't powerless, right? (Right.)

Interviewer Michael Vickers: You've taken a step forward, and the whole book is not linear. There's no linear way out of chaos. Well, what is it?

Vince: Well, it's very much a vortex. It's… Does this work? Does this work? That's where we're headed. Is that space of curiosity!

Interviewer Michael Vickers: And I think action. Whenever in my lifetime, I felt anxious, maybe feeling a little. I won't say depressed because I've actually talked to people who go through depression and what I experience is nothing like what they've gone through. But I always found action and hard work would always Get Me Out of that state. I couldn't be in both places at the same time. So the amygdala, I think, is responsible for our emotions and our feelings. But when I'm working on a prefrontal cortex and I'm busy focused on the task, I'm not even thinking about that. So you're not. Yeah. And you talk about what to let go of is, well, I was like to equate that. I want to hear your perspective of what we should let go of and how we focus on what we should let go. I call. Marie Kondo in your life, and if you're familiar with the Konmari method, Marie Kondo is this lovely Asian woman, doesn't speak much English.

She's got a TV show, I think it's on Netflix, and she talks about getting rid of everything that doesn't bring you joy and organize. Your husband, my wife, took on to that. And we have organized everything has a place, everything has a place, and it gets returned back to that place. And if we haven't used it in six months, it's basically toasted for not sure we wait one year, but it's letting go. And it's really hard to let go of things are well, I need that I I might need that tool one day. And when I need it, I'm going to really want it.

And her role is if it's 20 bucks and it's within 20 miles, get rid of it if you haven't. So learn to let it go. What do you mean by letting go and what we should choose to let go and how do we find. What we should let go of?

Vince: So there may be a better simple question to ask to know if it's taking you forward or not. And actually, I'm going to steal from the end and the elephant this piece, because there was a points in the journey where the Ant realized these thoughts weren't taking them towards the Oasis, it was taking them away. And it's a conversation that your conscious mind has with your subconscious mind. Now this is going to sound a little wacky, but it works. It worked in ski training.

If it's taking you further away from your Oasis where you want to end up that relationship or the self-image or the job or or that goal is. But that thought or that outside thought, somebody's criticizing you. Ask yourself, is this taking me closer to? That goal or further away, if the answer is further away, the Ant says to the elephant. Your conscious mind says, you silently say to yourself, “Thank you, (because there must be a reason why the subconscious mind is embracing this in some way. But say thank you) but that's not part of my vision. My vision is. …” And then you pivot from what that negative. Path is to where you want to end up and so do that enough times.

This is adaptive. I heard Tony Robbins years ago, gosh, years in the mid 80s, talk about scratching a record, he said. If you scratch a record, you've interrupted that pattern. If you scratch it again, you interrupt it. It's still going to play the same song. But eventually, overtime, you scratch that record enough times, that pattern is not there anymore. It's simply gone. So this thank you, but that's not part of my vision. And then the pivot on to not just what it is, but what it feels like.

What are the five senses? What are the smells, the sounds associated with? Bring it into an experience. I call this ‘experientialization.’ What the outcome is from this negative thought or negative. Somebody saying something negative or something comes in the mail, or some bill collectors calling you beat me up, ask is this taking me closer, this feeling taking me closer to her, further away? Then you go back onto your Emotional buzz. This is an extraordinary way to stay the course.

Interviewer Michael Vickers: You've got a number of different formulas that you share in your book. How did the 5C's fit into this?

Vince: The 5C's are that linear path, right?

And so clarity, which is not just visual clarity but an emotional buzz. Clarity.

The second C is commitment. Commitment is simply not episodic. A couple walks down the aisle on a Saturday and they're done with commitment process. It's a process, yeah. And so re upping to that commitment is essential.

The third C is consistency, and I used the philosophy as an athlete. Do what the best aren't willing to do, do what the competition is not. Willing to do not what they're not doing, but what they're not willing to do. And So what are the best not willing to do? Well, typically those are the things you're not willing to do either. And that's great advice. What is the competition not willing to do? And just simply do it, whatever it is. And then if they think things, I mean could be going to the library and getting a book out of the library, well, wait. Who does that? Well, you you can do that!

Interviewer Michael Vickers: Yeah, well, it's even getting up at 5:00 AM. I'm an early morning guy. My brain works best in the morning. For me after four o'clock, I'm pretty much brain much. But for me that's my discipline and it's a habit and I look forward to it. I've got 2-3 hours before I see or hear from anybody and that's my personal RND Yeah, and I know my competition isn't willing to do that. So they know they're going to get up when they feel like it or whatever.

Vince: Confidence is the 4th one. Confidence comes from experience. But what if you don't have an experience with a personal earthquake, right? What if you don't have experience with a pandemic and a supply chain management issue and rising gas prices? And maybe got a divorce at the same time. This pile on of wait, this is brand new. What the heck am I supposed to do? Confidence is the single most important thing for anyone to accomplish great results, but confidence normally comes from experience. So being the architect of those kinds of preparatory experiences. So that you have peak performance, I'm not going to go into a lot of detail, but it just basically building confidence is flipping the gap between fear and confidence where fear is low, not high, right, that confidence is high and then performance will go up and results go up.

The fifth C is Control. Those routines and you know at the last step on that. Routine is is a decision to enjoy this, to have fun, right? We just have fun. It was something that you can control, is how you react to all of these situations.

You decide, I'm gonna have fun.

Interviewer Michael Vickers: Now the book, even though it's a parable, is filled with lots of great principles. Matter of fact, you talk. One of my favorites in there is where you talk about when earthquakes do happen. And they will happen. So there's gonna be a small earthquakes, big earthquakes, massively big earthquakes, devastating earthquakes. But you talk about the solution loop and you use the petals of the flower to make the point. Let's chat about that just for a few minutes as a visual.

Vince: Yeah, well, as I wrote the book, I wanted the concepts to be sticky. And to picture a 6 petal plumeria. Now that does not exist. But I know there's four leaf clovers, which most of our three, so I'm going to make a 6 petal plumeria. Normally there's five, but with artistic license … there are six of them.

The first two petals start with “grasp the contradiction,” then “seek the alignment.” And being able to pave that alignment between your conscious intention and your subconscious agenda, which is scared and paranoid and you've gone through an earthquake. You're in pain, right? And then the solution loop goes on to the next two petals “stay curious” then “be creative.”

I mean, to have this curiosity, well, maybe this might work. Because now you're in this land of uncertainty, you just don't know what is going to work. And I think the reason people recoiled after during the pandemic, you just have to pivot. It's such a trite piece of advice. I'll just pivot, you know.

Well, what if you don't know what the pivot is supposed to be, right? Which is? For most of us, maybe all of us, but the curiosity followed by creativity, well maybe if it's this, could I be creative on how this is applied?

Could I volunteer at this certain area that was with my youngest and she was in college for parents’ weekend and we ran into one of her buddies. Who had graduated? He tagged along for parents’ weekend with his folks, and his brother was there. This big brother just quit his job, right? He was making the six figure and he said “it didn't matter. I just hated going to work. I just hated it.” And then he had to answer the question to himself, “what's next?” He didn't know.

This curiosity and creativity means - maybe this will work. And him volunteering at a nonprofit, his idea to say, OK, well maybe I can do this. That's perfect because maybe there's no compensation. But it's the mathematics of opportunity. You open a door and there's going to be another door that you can go. What's behind that door? And you open that door and guess what? Another door opens. Or you could open that door. So that curiosity and creativity can lead to the potential to take action on something.

Just look at any entrepreneur out there. Any entrepreneur will give you 10 ideas that did not work right and the one that did more than nine or the 8. We only hear about the great ones. How hard could it be? Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, right place, right place, right time. They'll even tell you that they were in the right place at the right time, doing the right things. Does this work, does this work, does this work and answer your question? You’ve got to go through sometimes weeks of understanding if this is going to work and then get to the point where we say, OK, well, no, but maybe there's something else in here.

Interviewer Michael Vickers: So, well, knowing when to give up on that too. And I think in chapter eight of the book you talk about adapt or die. Elgo carries pain and suffering and so. Really, adaptation is good. So whether it's absolute grief or loss, there's no words that will take that pain away. And you talk about even moving on. Don't talk about your earthquake story.

I always hesitated even asking about your background in the introduction in the book, because it brings up the story again and you get all those feelings and emotions I know if I talk about. Things that happened, I'm not living back there. That's not where I'm at. So it gives you perspective, but that's not where I'm at.

So, if we allow it to stay in our head and to use your quote, rent free, it can demean as it can take away our confidence. So to change the results we need to first change our beliefs as you teach. I call this is maybe the most important thing for your listeners to embrace.

Vince: This was inspired by a conversation years ago. And I ran into a person, she's from Australia. She started sharing this story with everybody in the room and they were gasping from how extraordinary her personal earthquake was.

Her husband died and her in-laws hated her, so they never told her. I mean, there was all this story, right? And she relived it in front of all these people. I don't know this person, but I knew enough that I asked her. I said, how many times have you shared that story? And she said, oh, I don't know. I said would it be over 100? She said. “It's in the hundreds. I've shared this story a lot.”

I said, “You don't know me, but you have re-experienced something that happened once and you've experienced it over and over and over. You've embedded this in your subconscious mind so much that this is going to define your next steps in life.

“And you could start hating me right now for this, but I just, this is my sandbox. And the second you stopped sharing that story is the second you're going to be free from that story.”

Interviewer Michael Vickers: So that's why that appeared in the earthquake. Yeah. Lots of great things in their events. We're going to put all your contact information in the show notes. People get hold of you, find your book, go to the website, this percentage.com, and again, we'll have that in the show notes. But if you're really looking to accelerate your breakthroughs and leave all those setbacks, which we all have behind us, awesome book, great parable, entertaining story. You've really we've some great principles in there, and I love at the end of each chapter how you've got the key learnings that go, that the characters can apply. And really appreciate you making time for us and our audience, Vince, and sharing some of these strategies with us and your story.

How does beginner’s luck work when subsequent and more informed efforts are subpar? It all has to do with your elephant. 🐘

Credit Dr. Lee Pulos’ research: in one second, your conscious mind processes with 2,000 neurons while your subconscious utilizes 4 billion neurons. To remember this amazing ratio, it’s like an ant 🐜 who thinks it decides direction while riding on the back of an elephant. Who’s really in control of where they end up?

You make a decision to go west, get fit, meet the partner of your dreams, add a comma (or two) to your bank account, and sign up five new clients before month’s end. But, alas, you end up east, out of shape, dating a doofus, distracted by a scary bank balance, and no new clients within miles of the bookings board. It’s time to understand the mojo of beginner’s luck.

Simply put, your elephant doesn’t know what you don’t know. The ant is busy trying to figure out the top-line basics while the subconscious mind is given complete autonomy. Imagine 4 billion neurons’ only measure - is the outcome.

Hit the ball in the middle of the fairway. Close that sale your 1st time out. Get a Standing O your first time on stage.

You’ve started in flow. Non-thought. Your elephantine subconscious mind guides you without the annoying, fear-based part of the conscious mind interrupting with second guesses. After a few tries, you start to “think.”

Right? 🤔 No? 🤔 What the heck?

It gets worse. The ant screams down at the elephant.

What was I thinking? 😖 That was stupid. 😖 I suck!

Meanwhile, the elephant is listening and reacting.

Was I thinking wrong? 🤨 Am I stupid? 🤨 Did I let myself down again?”

Presto, a downward spiral of misalignment and negative patterns. It vortexes from bad to worse.

Bring that Beginner’s Luck Mojo back. Next time:

✅ Under-Think It
✅ Trust the Inherent Power of Your Elephant
✅ Relax, Step Forward, & Save Uncertainty for Another Day

You got this!

#beginnersluck #powerofsubconscious #antandelephant #setbacktobreakthrough