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Blending Before Bleeding - 70 Sec Motivational eBrief


It was an innocent road trip. Four acquaintances, fans of Jack Johnson, hopped into Chester’s SUV for a three-day escape from San Francisco to Napa Valley. By the end of the experience, three friends knew they’d never travel with Chester again. It was a shame. Adorable Chester, burdened by an idiosyncrasy, alienated three potential friends.

Everyone wants to feel special. Some tattoo or pierce themselves. Others are motivated by hairstyles, moustaches, building muscles or following hobbies. Feeling unique and authentic are passionate pursuits. Yet, allow one genuine, but annoying idiosyncratic behavior encroach on someone else’s homeostasis and alienation sets in.

germsChester’s idiosyncrasy? Mysaphobia (aka germophobia). Indeed, germs are no one’s friend. Yet, Chester made it an unavoidable anxiety, as if he were swinging a gladiator’s spiked ball at the end of a chain. The group couldn’t go anywhere without feeling they were stepping on his Purelled toes. A bag of chips had to be poured into individual plates because of what he described as, “feces covered hands.” Breaking bread as a group was a version of Cirque de Soleil. His SUV was guarded like the inside of a Hazmat suit.

Chester, 45, is handsome, friendly, kind, generous, fun and adventurous. Yet, he is frustrated much of the time. He is single and struggling in life. Like the rest of us, he will find his way. But his journey will be burdensome if he continues to alienate others.

Being special is important. Having idiosyncrasy’s is normal. Where, pray tell, is the line between acceptable and repulsive?

Let’s say you have an idiosyncrasy such as being blunt. You don’t intend to be cruel. You don’t mean to offend. But you can leave a swath of hurt feelings every time you open your pie hole.

Or, your idiosyncrasy is being an introvert. This perfectly acceptable trait doesn’t mean you’re ignoring someone. But the message being interpreted is arrogance or distrust. Extroverts can be the victim of the diametric interpretations of insecurity or self-centeredness.

The answer lies in blending before bleeding. One of the life skills gained from learning aikido, or most other martial arts, is the art of blending with an oncoming force. Instead of striking or blocking an opponent, blending with the force will avoid any injury. If the oncoming force is insignificant, then there is no harm. If the oncoming force appears overwhelming, then blending is the key.

If you’re a passionate extrovert or patient introvert then allow people to know what you’re all about. Communicate your intent with others first. If you’re blunt, then preface your intent before your gums start flapping. Whatever your idiosyncrasy, blend with communication not defensiveness or counter attacks.

In Chester’s case, he never attempted to temper his idiosyncrasy by blending his needs. For example, comfortably admitting he was “something of a germophobe but never wanting the idiosyncrasy to impinge on the road trip” would have done wonders. He could have brought his own little bag of chips. Used hand sanitizer without a fuss.

Blend before bleeding.

Goal Chauvinism - 70 Sec Motivational eBrief


Alex climbed in the car. Smiling. (She always smiles - unless something weighs on her.) Within seventy seconds, she dropped the pensive dumbell she had picked up. "Dad, you're 53 years old... what's the point?" Hmmmmm. The point? That 'point' may be foreign to Goal Chauvinists.  

Alex's car was in the shop. Being picked up from school, she innocently reveled in the chauffer treatment. "Hi Dad." "Hey beautiful." She trumped the conversation with a typical parent's question, "How was your daaaay?"

Alex and Dad"Fun actually. Every Wednesday is a 'Free' day. I do something outside of work. I had a one-on-one coaching session with a former National Hockey League player. I learned a lot cool stuff."

Silence. Pause. Restrained sigh.

"Um, Dad? Now I don't want to hurt your feelings but... well... Dad, you're 53 years old. It's not like you're going anywhere with hockey. I mean, what's the point? Do you think the Dallas Stars are looking for an old guy to add middle-age speed and baby-boomer finesse to their team?" 

It must seem odd from the outside looking in. Why indeed?

We each have goals. You likely have a place you want to arrive in your life. A house. A car. A paycheck. A record deal. A contract. A promotion. A milestone of some kind. 

Moreover, goals land somewhere in the future. Goal achievers have clarity on the path towards a dream. They are aspirational. They exude intention and determination. 

Driving towards a specific and measurable goal is mission-critical for any high achiever. Right?


Alex may be a dreaded... "Goal Chauvinist."

Goal Chauvinists buy into the popular notion; proper goals must be clear, measurable, time specific and realistic. 

Quality goals don't have to be tangible. At times, they don't need to be anything other than a state of mind.

This perspective came into view when Jim Shaw, Sr. spoke to his growing staff in late 80's. The staff Christmas party was overflowing with 300 plus employees. He approached the microphone and said with true humbleness, "I never imagined we would be this big. I just thought we were doing the right thing for Canadians."

Today, Shaw Communications is a corporate entity in the hundreds of millions of dollars. Lead by a founder who admitted to not having what a 'Goal Chauvinist' might expect. Instead, he celebrated what many high achievers thrive on, an energetic state. A powerful state of mind. In other words, he did what gives him energy. Values like: new business opportunities, connecting people, building a significant brand, ambition, entrepreneurial adventure.

Taking hockey lessons at 53 is fascinating when you've played since you're five years old. Learning new techniques, being able to contribute a higher skill level for our beer-league team, replacing inefficiency with practical know how. Energetically, it is a huge BUZZ to be on a growth curve. Especially at, not despite being, 53 years old.

Start with what gives you energy. Apply your values and tactics but keep doing what gives you energy. THAT is the point!  

Frustrated? Alone? Perfect! - 70 Sec Motivational eBrief


You could hear the frustration oozing from the phone. For seven years he has been trying to solo-climb out of his financial situation. "You've been there," he said deflated, "What do you do?"

"Three things: Be happy now. Add value. Be grateful."

now value grateful

You can't control your environment. You can control what you bring to your environment.

  1. Be Happy Now - Of all the things that each of us needs reminding about - Being present or in the moment, is  the most important. The past can weigh around your neck and wrists like wood stocks of old. The imaginary impact the future can have is equivalent to those dreams that seem so real, while you, in fact, lay safely in bed. If now is all you have then, why not be happy now? Also, you may notice that people are drawn to people having fun. 
  2. Add Value - Woody Allen once said that '99 percent of life is showing up.' Cute but irrelevant today. Not even close! (Unless you add the words, "with value.") What value can you bring to people today? What talents do you have that give you energy. Using those talents to add value raises your energy level. And people are attracted to energy. '99 percent of life is showing up with value.'
  3. Be Grateful - Gratitude is a calming force. No two things can occupy the same space at the same time. If you are in the state of gratitude, your brain has no room for the state of FREAKING OUT. Gratitude is also the great equalizer. When you are thankful your energy rises. Those who are grateful have an enlightened appeal. Gratitude is a natural magnet for other positive people.

Can you see the common thread on the path to getting out of a rut?

When you're happily adding value in a state of gratitude you attract like minded people. That is true wealth. Rich in spirit, friendships and opportunity set the stage for financial wealth too. 

When you're 'rich' in all manners of the word, does it get any better than that? "The rich get richer," yet moments ago you may have been frustrated and alone. How perfect is that?

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Smarter I Work - Luckier I Get - 70 Second Motivation

On a walk, a portion of a horseshoe poked out of the ground. Horseshoes are supposed to be lucky. This lead to remnants of the motivational saying attributed to Pro Golfer, Lee Trevino. “The harder I work, the luckier I get.” But in 2014 you may have felt a significant shift in our collective consciousness. Hard work isn’t enough any more. Smart work is the order of the day.


The romantic notion, “America is the land of opportunity (if you work hard).” The same goes for any developing or developed country. But today, hard work alone is a frustrating dead-end. Drive down the road and you’ll pass countless people working hard: washing cars, filling in potholes, serving customers, selling stuff. But recently we experienced a new realization: If I work hard, I will succeed – is only a half truth.

Hard work guarantees nothing! Zilch!

Case in point: Arturo Souza is an immigrant. When he moved to Canada he had to learn English. With a thick accent his first job was selling real estate. His sales manager gave him the script and the advice to financial freedom, “Call until someone says yes.”

Day after, agonizing day, Arturo sat at his cubical. As directed, from 3 to 7 pm, he went through the reverse directory, dialed and repeated, “Hello, my name is Arturo from Century 21 Real Estate. Are you planning on buying or selling a house now or in the near future?” There were a lot of new Realtors coming through the office. None stuck to the game plan better than Arturo. NONE worked harder at finding a client than Arturo. It was a feat of human perseverance to see him pound the phones. Days turned into weeks. Weeks turned into months. Arturo had zero luck. NO LUCK. No business. But he worked harder than anyone at the office. What did he do wrong?

Onward there will be three character traits you will be forced to embrace if you want to create your own luck.

  1. Your Gift – You have a talent for solving certain problems. You have demonstrated a capacity to do something no one else in the room or the business was able to conquer. Blow people away with your gift. If you gift needs improving. Improve it.
  2. Your Drive - You have demonstrated drive in the past. Today, you may even have super-human drive like Arturo. Your drive will take you forward. Get serious about driving ahead with a smart, clear intention.
  3. Your Influence – You have a special allure. You have shown a capacity for influencing others. Authentically show up with an all-in mentality.

Just like hard work alone, any one of these character traits, in isolation, are not enough to succeed today. In order for your hard work to convert into “smart work” you must show up with your gift, drive and influence in concert!  
Might your 2015 mantra be...

“The smarter I work. The luckier I get.”

Apple, Entrepreneurs, Creators and More GOALS FAST Content


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Why the Future Will be Made by Creators, Not Consumers 

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The ability to code enables young people to become creators rather than consumers. Students with this creative capacity and technical literacy will hold the power in the future. They are the next generation of entrepreneurs, and, as some teenagers   and younger students have shown us, they are already the entrepreneurs ...



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Creativity Emerges When You Change-Up the Routine 

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Apple Is Warming Up To Social Media 

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Apple is hiring a social media guru in L.A. Will @Apple finally tweet?

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Invitation to Join TidBitts - Your BIG GOALS in 1/2 the Time


We have teamed up with TidBitts and invite you to do the same. Articles like this one will appear in your inbox every Monday morning. Click this link to sign up to 

How to Reach Your BIG GOALS in ½ the Time.

Is our 24/7, instant message, more-faster-now world eating us alive or setting us free?


A recent nationwide “Speed Survey” has some answers for us. The results reveal how we are seemingly, just surviving vs thriving. (I’ll save the stats on sex vs high speed technology until the end.)
- 9 out of 10 employees are feeling rushed several times per week if not every day
- 9 out of 10 feel they have to get more done in less time

This shouldn’t be a surprise to anyone but check this out:
- 1/2 feel that in order to succeed they need to slow things down
- yet 3/4 feel the pace of work will only increase in the next five years

There is a disconnect that must not be ignored here. Most of us are approaching or in the thick of overwhelm and more than half believe that slowing down is the answer to success but most are convinced things will only get faster. YIKES!

It reminds me of a nightmare where things only get worse the harder you try to get past the struggle.

Folks, there is an oncoming force and it is called “speed.” And a large percentage of corporate managers are ignoring this force.
- Over 2 out of 5 feel that management doesn’t understand the impact of the more-faster-now demands on the employees in our organizations.
- While 1 out of 3 employees are uncomfortable with the demands for speed in their company.

Somebody’s in for a wake-up call.
- 1/3rd of all respondents don’t feel their organization is embracing speed. 
- and 1/3rd people feel their organization is more stressful and intense than ever.

An interesting theme was revealed in the Speed Survey. We want to HAVE things faster, but we don’t necessarily want to DO things faster. Speed becomes a love, hate relationship and it is only going to paradoxically intensify.

According to Scott Cook, the Chairman and co-founder of Intuit (the makers of Quicken and Quick Books) says, there is a “speed tsunami that’s overtaking business and life.”

Where will the solution come from? How can we make the oncoming force of speed in our world our friend, not the enemy? The answer lies in being able to both embrace speed and harness this oncoming force that Cook talks about.

Now for the Sex vs High Speed Technology. 
- 1/3rd of our survey respondents would give up sex for week before they would give up their high speed internet connection or their email
- 1/3rd would pass on the PDA in favor or a week of whoopy.

So there you go. 

Life in the age of speed is truly interesting and one to be reckoned with. 

Harness speed and leave chaos behind.

Share this link with everyone you know and I will continue to give you great content on #TidBitts.  https://www.tidbitts.com/free/99d47a

3 Motivational Ingredients for Innovation at Work


At the heart of Bloomberg’s Manhattan offices is the complimentary food court. Nothing brings people together like chow. But for Big Biz Bloomberg, food’s not on the leadership's menu. Instead, they know by bringing people together, there is a recipe for innovation.

Bloomberg’s HQ features, low barrier cubicles, open offices, glass conference rooms, elevators at every other floor and multiple, open staircases between levels. Central to their 23 stories, is the sixth floor. All traffic must channel through the lobby. The premise is concise. When people cross paths they make connected inroads towards progress.

Interaction by design is not new. Thomas Edison made sure his lab had plenty of interactive opportunities. Interfacing with people, materials, projects and environments was at the center of Edison’s innovation. In Edison’s words, “Hell, there are no rules here – we’re trying to accomplish something.”


Up until fairly recently, separating senior executives from employees was the norm. Now, personnel and officers routinely mix. A walk through the amped-up Zappo’s facility or an elder corporate entity, State Farm, floor plans feature an open, collaborative work environment as the new-normal. 

The first obvious question: “Isn’t an open environment distracting?” According to Michael Bloomberg, shutting out distraction is a skill. The assumption is that people will adapt. Take a random sampling of employees who work in an interactive workspace and the response is consistent. Yes, you kind of adapt. You wear headphones. It can still be distracting and frustrating.

The International Management Facility Association states that nearly 70 percent of US employees work in open office plans. But the love affair with a collaborative setting by minimizing cubicles or offices has proved ineffective when the “ability to focus was not also considered,” evidenced in a recent study by the Gensler design agency. In other words, if collaboration trumps focus, neither is effective. 

Google is known for its obsession with tweaking an idea until they get it right. Such is the case with their office space. Open work areas are mixed with, flexible furniture, private and semi-private settings. It seems the ghost of Thomas Edison is alive and well at Google.

Well ahead of his time, Edison instinctively knew a collaborative dynamic was critical in the pursuit of innovation. He mixed machine shop equipment, alongside chemical laboratories, office space and wood lathes for prototyping models. Although he set aside his own office space, it doubled as the company library. Each employee was encouraged to work in the library, or any other space, as desired. Thomas Edison favored networks over hierarchies. His dedication to a learning centric environment was clearly a boon to 20th century innovations.

Here are the 3 Motivational Ingredients for Innovation at Work

Be a:
• “Cross Path” Planner – Structure settings and processes for crossing paths with your network of colleagues. 
• “Quiet Retreat” Strategist – Erase distractions when needed.
• “Collaboration” Mixologist – Don’t just rely on a dyad for idea exchange. Make sure your collaboration cocktail has 3 or more people in it. 

Add this recipe to your innovation cookbook for delicious, motivational progress.


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5 Signs Busy is Holding You Back


Yesteryear, if you told someone you’re busy they may empathize.

Tell people you’re busy today and a little voice in the ether goes, “Uh oh!” 

A respected colleague, Victoria Labalme talks about how bringing up “busy” leads to a series of one-up-manship. 

“How are you?”

“I’m really busy. How are you?”

“Oh, I’m crazy busy. I’ve got busy, on top of busy.”

As Labalme astutely points out, busy is nothing to brag about.


Today, ‘busy’ has become a fading badge oh honor. Much in the same way, admitting “I don’t know how to turn on a computer,” was okay to say until it eventually became a sign of complete ignorance.

Let’s face it. With the quality and proliferation of technological solutions, busy is no longer a positive sign. It is, in fact, a red flag. It is a harbinger for ineffective behavior. A symbol of someone out of control.

This should put sayings like, “If you want to get something done, give it to a busy person,” a cause for pause. 

“If you want to get something done, give it to an efficient person.” Isn't that better (albeit not a play on words)?

Here are Five Signs you’re busyness may be holding you back:

1. You Feel Busy but Don’t Notice Results. 
2. You Admit Busyness and Feel Out of Control.
3. You’re Exhausted From The Weight of Your Commitments.
4. You Can’t Quite Recall What You Did Today.
5. You’ve Given Up Lists for Reactionary Work.

The antidote to busy?

• List Your MITs - List the Peter Thomas, MITs (the most important things you want to get done) at the beginning of each day. 
• Target Specific Results - Target the specific progress or results you want to accomplish each day.
• Attach Emotion to Progress - Emotionally attach your progress to the end game, the ultimate prize you aim to attain. 

Now, don’t panic. It is still relatively acceptable to say you’re busy. But that window of acceptability is rapidly closing. Then, one day, admitting you’re busy will be an outright admission of ignorance. 

Best to get busy on solving busy, before its too late.

Helping Others Reach Their Goals FASTER


Goal-setting is vital in every aspect of life. It will preserve aspirations, dreams, ambitions and hopes that one seeks to reach. Here is how you can help others reach their goals faster.

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First, one must look at the bigger snapshot, meaning: What is it the person you're helping seeks to accomplish in their lifetime? Determine what it is that he or she values, and then breakdown how one can get to the finish-line. For example, if money is a motivating factor in daily life, set aside specific time to write out what needs to be accomplished in order to get to the goal.

Second, and just as importantly, one must compose the goal in detail and follow progress. If it's not set-in-stone (tell others, put it on your wall, take a sculpture class and actually chip the words into stone) the goals are not likely to be accomplished.

Third, split goals into steps and immediate action, so one can follow one at a time. Track the triumphs attained. Any goal set ought to be distinct easily measured and important to the goal setter. Set a deadline and work towards that target date.

Fourth, maintaining a Goals Journal is effective, because it's possible to follow the progress and development or regression. As each step is attained, mark it off the journal and reward yourself for that achievement. Reexamine the goal if it is taking too much time to reach.

Impractical goals will become frustrating for the goal setter, and therefore, may cause someone to stop trying after a large amount of effort was put forth.

Fifth and finally, have multiple goals, and prioritize which are the most important. Goals with more meaning are those you are coaching will put more emphasis on.

{Invitation: Take a look at more about setting goals on our home page to navigate towards your goals. www.vinceposcente.com}

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